Core for Being MASTER
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[00:00:00] Introduction: The World Needs Men
[00:00:00] Franklin: Right now, the world needs great men who will stand up and lead with honor, serve with purpose, and courageously fulfill their God given roles and responsibilities as husbands, fathers, leaders, and men. It's time we see more men thrive, marriages filled with passion, and families that flourish. So whether you're a man struggling to figure it all out, or an awesome husband and dad looking for the next level, you've come to the right place.
[00:00:38] Franklin: We're your hosts, Franklin Swan and Tanner Hayes, bringing you practical, applicable tools and strategies you can use every day. To build yourself into the man God is calling you to be. This is the world needs men. Let's
[00:00:53] The Core Four: Understanding the Soul
[00:00:53] Tanner: go Welcome back to the world needs men podcast. We're your hosts Tanner Hayes [00:01:00] Franklin Swan today We're gonna be continuing on talking about the core four today We're gonna be talking about being and what we would consider taking care
[00:01:08] Franklin: of your soul last episode.
[00:01:10] Franklin: We talked about your body This episode is being and being is your soul. It is your relationship with God. It is your purpose And it is all things Spiritual about you
[00:01:22] Tanner: this morning. I don't think this is a coincidence But my five year old which I have two kids. I have a five year old and a two year old, but my five year old asked me When I was getting breakfast ready and everything, he said, daddy, do we get new teeth in heaven?
[00:01:39] Tanner: And I said, well, I believe we get a whole new body. So yeah, I guess so. He said, okay, but we don't get a new soul. You always have the same soul. And I was like, man, this is really profound for one for a five year old, but especially for six o'clock in the morning. [00:02:00]
[00:02:00] Franklin: That is very profound for a five year old at 6 a.
[00:02:02] Franklin: m. And you should be proud of that. That's pretty insightful. And it, you know, it points to how much we can learn from our, our children. It's just the things that they say in child at five, like what barriers to God are there, right? I mean, just, they're just open antennas are just sponges for everything.
[00:02:20] Franklin: And so there's so much that happens to us as we grow older and life happens and it just disconnects us a lot of times from God. And then you have a child step in that gives you just a little perspective on. We may get new bodies and new teeth, but we have always had and we always will have the same soul,
[00:02:39] Tanner: right?
[00:02:39] Tanner: You know, and last week we talked about body and taking care of your body, but someday that body is going to go away. But what we're talking about today has an eternal
[00:02:51] Franklin: impact. Absolutely.
[00:02:52] The Power of Meditation: Box Breathing Technique
[00:02:52] Franklin: The thing that I start my day with, even before I work out. is very quiet time with God. [00:03:00] And I really decided years ago to just kind of give him those first moments of my day.
[00:03:05] Franklin: And I've never regretted doing that. It's never been something that hasn't impacted my day in my life in a really positive way. And so we're going to talk through some really practical things that you can do. And whether you're a Christian or not, whether you're, you believe in God or not, like these are things you can do that will benefit you regardless.
[00:03:25] Franklin: And I would have you consider like lean into this and just, you know, just be open to possibilities, be open to the spiritual side of life and that there may be more to this world than we can see and feel and touch. And so every morning we get up and a part of our core four routine is not to just get our bodies on point, but it's to get on point spiritually with our purpose and then our walk with God, whatever that looks like.
[00:03:53] Franklin: I personally do a, either a Bible lab devotional or, you know, I'm, or I'm in scripture each morning, but then the [00:04:00] really active part of what I do is meditate and meditation and depending on your background and your upbringing can have all kinds of different connotations. And I think there's a lot of mis misunderstanding and misperception of what meditation is.
[00:04:17] Franklin: If we think of prayer as talking to God, I think of meditation as listening to God. And it's, you know, many times we don't give God a whole lot of time to speak back into our hearts and minds. Right.
[00:04:30] Tanner: And it's just opening that opportunity to listen and to hear what God's saying
[00:04:35] Franklin: to us. So very practical.
[00:04:37] Franklin: Again, this, like the last podcast, these are tools that you can put in your toolbox and utilize. As needed on a daily basis. But you know, for us, this is a foundational tool that is used daily. And when it comes to meditation, there's all kinds of different ways of going about this. But we're going to propose something very specific and really that anyone can [00:05:00] do because it's all based on a breathing pattern.
[00:05:04] Franklin: And anyone who's listening to this podcast right now is a breathing human being. And so if you're breathing right now, you can do this. It's kind of that simple. It really is that simple. The real origin of where this came from was during my time training for seal fit. And a big part of that protocol and program.
[00:05:24] Franklin: incorporated this technique, which is called box breathing into that training. And Navy SEALs use this in a way to calm their mind and be present. and to create space in the moment so that they can think clearly and respond appropriately. I've typically had a kind of a perspective that if it's good enough for a Navy SEAL, it's good enough for me.
[00:05:49] Franklin: Yeah.
[00:05:49] Tanner: Good enough for a Navy SEAL that's on the battlefield or about to go on the battlefield. It's going to be good enough for me when I'm, you know, with my taking care of my kids or in the [00:06:00] office.
[00:06:00] Franklin: Or what have you, right? So the way that that this works and you don't want to do this if you're driving for sure, but you find a very a nice comfortable space to sit and get relaxed and box breathing is the simplest breathing pattern I found.
[00:06:18] Franklin: And what you do is you start off and all of the inhales and exhales are all through your nose. It's not through your mouth. So the first thing you're going to do is inhale for a four count. So 1, 2, 3, 4. You're inhaling through your nose and then you hold it at the top. You hold that. Your lungs full now for another count of four.
[00:06:43] Franklin: 1, 2, 3, 4. And at the end of that, now you exhale through your nose for a count of 4, 1, 2, 3, 4. And at the bottom with empty lungs, you hold that emptiness for 1, 2, 3, 4. So that is [00:07:00] one full cycle of a box breathing pattern. And the reason it's called box breathing is because it's kind of got. The four different sides.
[00:07:08] Franklin: If you imagine a side number one is the inhale and then you hold and then you have the exhale and then you hold making up four sides of a box. You can practice this for as little as or as long as you want for as little as two minutes will literally drop your your heart rate. It helps to actually regulate your nervous system and bring you into a rest and digest, relax state.
[00:07:36] Franklin: It super oxygenates your brain. So if you do this first thing in the morning after laying down vertically and being asleep all night. It will fill your body with fresh, clean oxygen and get all the CO2 out of your body. And it just primes your whole nervous system for the day and brings a tremendous amount of clarity.
[00:07:56] Franklin: So this is something that I practice for 10 minutes [00:08:00] every morning, have done this for years. And I learned it all from an ABC.
[00:08:04] Tanner: Right. And so many people are breathing incorrectly throughout the night while they're sleeping. They're mouth breathing all night. And there's different techniques for that and that's not the purpose of this podcast.
[00:08:16] Tanner: But it's a good habit to get up first thing in the morning.
[00:08:20] The Importance of Gratitude and Mindfulness
[00:08:20] Tanner: And to start with breathing correctly, oxygenating your, your brain and your blood and allowing your nervous system to start at a, from a calm state.
[00:08:32] Franklin: The amazing thing, you know, we can go three weeks without food, we can go for three days without water, we can go about three minutes without oxygen.
[00:08:41] Franklin: And so it's really, I mean, you think about. When God created man, well, what did he do? He breathed life. He, it was his breath that he put into man that created life. And so if you look, think of it through a spiritual aspect such as that, like [00:09:00] this is a very profound way to begin your day, just breathing in and taking advantage of the fact that you can breathe, that God gave you that gift.
[00:09:10] Franklin: And you can use this as a tool to prime yourself. And create a ton of space. I would encourage you if you've never done this, like give yourself a few minutes and just do the four second in count and the hold. And then the four second exhale and hold. And after five or 10 minutes, you open your eyes and you will have a state of calm and presence of mind.
[00:09:35] Franklin: And what I love about this
[00:09:40] Tanner: is it's such an easy place to start if someone has never done meditation or they've tried it and they feel like they can't turn their brain off or they've tried it and it felt too woo woo for them. This is just focusing on your breathing for a few minutes. And allowing you to just sit in [00:10:00] the quiet and stillness and listen.
[00:10:02] Franklin: Anyone in the world can do this because, again, if you're alive, you're breathing. And this isn't trying to sit there for 20 minutes and just empty your mind or just not think about anything, which is pretty tough for most people. And so I think it's just so difficult, the meditation idea prior. Concepts of what it is to just the difficulty of it.
[00:10:23] Franklin: This kind of gets past a lot of that and is a just creates a very simple meditative practice. And while you're doing that, you can either be counting. There's some apps that will that are breathing apps that kind of keep you on the right pace. And so you don't really have to think about it. And you can just sit there and just kind of let your mind wander during that time.
[00:10:42] Franklin: You can also recite a prayer over and over. You can spend that time actually praying if you want. You can also repeat a mantra or a Bible verse if that was helpful for you. So, there's a number of different things that can be done, but the big thing is just giving yourself that time and space [00:11:00] to open your heart and your mind to God and use the breath as a way of creating that, that room for Him to, uh, speak in.
[00:11:07] Tanner: Right. Use the breath work as the foundation and then You know, play with some of the other aspects of, you know, either meditating on a specific verse, scripture,
[00:11:18] Franklin: or a mantra build from there. You can also use this anytime during the day. So you may have a minute at lunch, you may have a really important meeting that you need to go to through or a conversation to have.
[00:11:29] Franklin: You can use this as a tool before any important decision or as a reset before you walk in the door at home. This is something that you can use anytime. Again, just don't try it when you're driving, but you can use it and is a tool to show up with more presence and clarity in the moment when it matters most.
[00:11:50] Franklin: And so it's not something that's just for the morning. It's really something that can be incorporated any time in your day that you find you need it. So every
[00:11:59] Tanner: day [00:12:00] find some time to meditate and do some box breathing. Yep.
[00:12:03] Franklin: Ideally in the morning before the day gets going, we've primed our brain or our bodies with the fitness and now we're priming our, our soul, so to speak, uh, with the meditation.
[00:12:12] Franklin: And it really impacts all areas. Like you do this, your body's going to be healthier. Your mind is going to be more clear. Your emotions are going to be more regulated. And so it really does impact everything. First part of be core for being is the meditation.
[00:12:27] Journaling: A Tool for Emotional Release
[00:12:27] Franklin: The second part of this is memoirs. So what do we mean by that?
[00:12:33] Franklin: At the basic level is journaling. And that's another thing that many men would look at and probably think that's something that men don't do. I'm too cool. I'm too, I don't have time for that. Why would I get into journaling? Any kind of stereotype. Yeah. And again, this isn't Dear Diary. This isn't like You know, something that, that your little girl's writing in her little [00:13:00] journal like this is, is a very strategic way of navigating the spiritual element of your morning and also the mental and emotional side too.
[00:13:10] Franklin: So what does this look like and how can we make this practical so that you can do this? So number one, you need a journal so you can, there's a million of them out there, just something with some blank pages for you to write on and we're going to propose three different really ways of going about this.
[00:13:27] Franklin: So the first way to journal or to do these memoirs is just simply an open journal. That means whatever came onto your heart and mind while you were doing your box breathing, you just put that on paper. Don't judge it. Don't overthink it. Just let whatever was on your heart and mind just flow out on paper.
[00:13:45] Franklin: And there's just something very, very therapeutic, very clarifying and very powerful about just pen to paper, writing that out. Even if you never look at it again, there's just something really powerful [00:14:00] about doing this practice. And on the most basic level, you just write down what is just on your heart.
[00:14:06] Franklin: Doesn't matter what it
[00:14:07] Tanner: is. Yeah, and it's that simple. Doesn't have to be super polished or anything like that. It's just pick up a pen and start writing.
[00:14:15] Franklin: The second strategy or the second form of journaling that you can use is more specific. It's an actual gratitude journal. So this would be finding three specific things in your life to journal and write about that you're grateful for.
[00:14:33] Franklin: This could be anything from your health, to just the gifts that God's given you, the opportunities, the blessings. It could be gratitude for your wife and children. It could be gratitude for opportunities you've had for your parents, for siblings, for friends, just the list goes on. And it's really powerful because we can all find things to be discouraged about and upset about and, and complain [00:15:00] about.
[00:15:00] Franklin: And on the flip side, we can all find things. That we can be grateful for even if it's the fact that we're able to take a breath right now Like that alone is a gift that we have and so it doesn't matter how big or small it is Every one of us can find three things to be grateful for. And when you do that, you begin to create a filter through which you see the world, which is a more abundant, a more prosperous, a more beautiful place to live because you're training your mind in your, what's called your reticular activating system.
[00:15:35] Franklin: Even like the lens that you're looking at it through is one of positive possibility rather than negativity. And You know, just negativity when I think
[00:15:47] Tanner: about this, if I've started my day and I've taken care of my body and I've done things to take care of my soul and I'm focusing on things that I'm grateful for, I'm going to show up as a much better husband to my wife, [00:16:00] much better father to my kids and a much better leader
[00:16:02] Franklin: in my business.
[00:16:03] Franklin: We're all just a big balls of energy when it comes down to it. And we can either vibrate at a high positive frequency or we can all vibrate at a low negative draining frequency. And all of these things basically just prime every element of who you are from the body stuff to the being stuff to be at a very high vibration, very positive state so that you can be a positive influence on the people around you.
[00:16:30] Tanner: And not only does it prime your body and your, the state that you're in, but the more you do this, The more grateful you're just going to be in general and a more grateful person that you're going to be to those
[00:16:43] Franklin: around you. And then you give your wife and kids the gift of a man who's enjoyable to be around because he's positive and grateful rather than complaining and negative.
[00:16:52] Franklin: So we have the open. Journal, we have the gratitude journal, the third one in this. This is going to [00:17:00] sound a little bit odd, but I'm gonna call it the anger journal. The reality is some mornings I wake up and I'm pretty much have a terrorist in my mind that's trying to take over the day and I may have stories about certain situations going on in life, about people, about relationships, about circumstances.
[00:17:18] Franklin: And I wake up and, you know, just the reality is I'm not feeling grateful. I don't have stuff to do an open journal about. I'm actually upset about something and really frustrated about that. So you have a choice. You either just hold all that mess inside. And just carry it around with you all day, in which case you're going to feel crummy or the second option is you actually unleash all of that negativity onto the people around you, whether that's your family or your co workers or the person in the line to get coffee this morning, like, and you just kind of spew that on other people one that just makes you feel worse to it makes the other person [00:18:00] feel worse.
[00:18:00] Franklin: And that's just it. A terrible way to go through the day, but if you don't have a constructive way of getting all of that negative emotion and energy out, we're either suppressing it, in which case it just builds until it explodes, or we're just spewing it on to the people around us because we don't have a productive system of dealing with it.
[00:18:20] Franklin: And in any case, it's, it's a lose either way.
[00:18:23] Tanner: We've all snapped at our wife or our kids. For something silly when actually the real problem was something completely different, not even related to the current situation that just was stewing in our mind for a period of time. And this is allowing you
[00:18:41] Franklin: to release that.
[00:18:43] Franklin: And so what this looks like practically, so you take the this one you probably don't want to do in your journal, you want to just get a fresh sheet of paper because there's a whole different intentionality around this. So this is an emotional purging of the junk that [00:19:00] you've got going on inside, whether that's the story, the belief, whatever is going on.
[00:19:03] Franklin: And so you get that piece of paper and you can use as many as you need and you start writing out all of the things that you're thinking and feeling inside and you do not hold back. I don't care how dark it is. I don't care how negative it is, how vicious the reality is. If you're having the thought, putting it on paper doesn't change the fact that you're having the thought.
[00:19:23] Franklin: It doesn't change the fact that you're having the emotion. The only question is, are you going to hold that inside or are you going to get it out in a productive way that allows you to release it? Because that thought probably isn't even true. It's probably just a ball of emotion in the moment that seems true and feels true, but in reality it's not.
[00:19:41] Franklin: So you just begin to write and you write and you write until you feel like you have just gotten all that anger and mess and junk out and it's on paper and you just write. And then once you're done, you take that piece of paper and you shred it into as many little teeny tiny pieces as you feel is [00:20:00] necessary to really drive home the fact that you just got this out of yourself.
[00:20:04] Franklin: You put it on paper, which when it's on, it's better to do it on paper than into a person on paper is like drilling a hole down into the ground and detonating a bomb underground so that it doesn't hurt anybody else. It's a controlled explosion, so to speak. So you just write all that junk out, all that mess.
[00:20:25] Franklin: It's an emotional purge from your body. And then you take that piece of paper and you shred it, and then you burn it, throw it away, do whatever you want to do. But there's just a very therapeutic process that I use on a regular basis where when I'm feeling triggered and feeling frustrated in it, I go through that and I use that practice.
[00:20:45] Franklin: It's not that it solves all the problem or creates or fixes everything, but even if that gives me a little bit more clarity, and maybe I get a few more negative words out on paper that allow me to [00:21:00] be more gracious with the person or the circumstance I'm dealing with. And so it shifts everything so that I don't take a bad situation and apply my negative emotions to it.
[00:21:11] Franklin: That makes it even worse. I took out the bad on the paper so that I can be positive and productive with dealing with the situation, whatever that may be in in person. And so it's just a very powerful tool that you can use and have in your arsenal So that you can navigate the reality of the ups and downs of life.
[00:21:32] Tanner: Something you said that's so important there is coming into situations that you're going to face on a daily basis anyways, coming in positive and productive. And something I would add to that too is present. Because so often we come into a situation And we're not really present. We're thinking about something else, bringing that baggage into this situation now, and it's just gasoline on the fire.
[00:21:57] Tanner: Yeah.
[00:21:58] Franklin: So, so [00:22:00] that's our, that's core for being meditation and memoirs.
[00:22:04] Conclusion: The Impact of Daily Practices on Life
[00:22:04] Franklin: You spend some time box breathing every day and creating that clarity and spend some time with God and have a devotional and just give him that space first. And then you spend some time journaling. You either do an urban journal, a gratitude journal, an anger journal, and just again, these are tools and practices that if you do them daily will put your life in a positive direction and it will help you show up so that you can face the challenges of the day, face the obstacles that are coming because all that's coming.
[00:22:38] Franklin: The only question is, yeah. Are you in a place of capacity to face them or are you at a place of debt and not not having that capacity? So you're just going to get steamrolled. Thank you all for joining us today. This has been exciting and fun. And Tanner, thank you for all of your input. And [00:23:00] that wraps up core for being.
[00:23:03] Tanner: We ask that if you found value in this, that you subscribe to the podcast and share with someone that you think would find value in this as
[00:23:12] Franklin: well. If there's a man that you know who would benefit from this, please share it with them. We want to get these messages and these tools and resources out to as many men as we can so that marriages can be thriving, families can heal.
[00:23:29] Franklin: So kids have great dads so that wives have great husbands and one man at a time in this world we can ma