[00:00:00] Franklin: Right now, the world needs great men who will stand up and lead with honor, serve with purpose, and courageously fulfill their God given roles and responsibilities as husbands, fathers, leaders, and men. It's time we see more men thrive, marriages filled with passion, and families that flourish. So whether you're a man struggling to figure it all out, or an awesome husband and dad looking for the next level, you've come to the right place.
[00:00:38] We're your hosts, Franklin Swan and Tanner Hayes, bringing you practical, applicable tools and strategies you can use every day to build yourself into the man God is calling you to be. This is the World Needs Men. Let's go.
[00:00:57] Tanner: Welcome back to the World Needs Men podcast. We're your [00:01:00] hosts, Tanner Hayes, Franklin Swan. Today we're going to be talking about Why you need a coach and why you may need to coach to get you from where you are today
[00:01:08] Franklin: to where you want to be. Yeah, we want to talk about the power of having a coach and how really this is something that's become one of the most influential, meaningful, powerful, critical.
[00:01:20] Aspects of, of how I live and, uh, and how Tanner lives. And, you know, there's a lot that goes into coaching. There's a lot of perspectives and things that I didn't know when I started looking for my first coach that I know now. And I think that it's something that's undervalued overlooked and really could help a lot of men that, uh, that may find themselves in a spot where they're just stuck struggling and unsure of what to do.
[00:01:48] Tanner: And there's, there's many different types of. Coaches, you know, from fitness coaches to your little league coach to business, to marriage, there's all different types.
[00:01:58] Franklin: And really what we're, we're going to [00:02:00] focus on today is really a very particular kind of coaching. And it's really more around high performance and mindset coaching.
[00:02:09] So, you know, we're not talking about getting a trainer at the gym or someone to teach you how to. Swing a golf club better or even a business coach, which all those things are valuable and have their place, but really we're talking about coaches who can help us understand the subconscious patterns, habits, beliefs, stories that we have that really influenced so much of our lives that we have to become aware of in order to really get get over the things that are that are standing in our way.
[00:02:41] Right.
[00:02:42] Tanner: And so, Franklin, why don't you give our listeners some perspective on how you found your first coach?
[00:02:48] Franklin: Yeah. If you've listened to the origin story, you know, there was this, uh, this place that I got to that was just really dark, really, really a place where I didn't have any answers, very stuck. [00:03:00] And I had heard these coaches being advertised as this coaching service that you could get pick up on and I had no idea what coaching was.
[00:03:10] I really didn't have much perspective, but I knew I was in a desperate place and I needed something. And what I didn't realize I needed at the time was someone who could give me perspective, who could see the obstacles that were in my way that I couldn't see and help me to understand how to get around them.
[00:03:26] And so. I reached out to the Tony Robbins organization and I thought, okay, I'll give this thing a shot. So I get on the phone with this gentleman. He starts taking me through and understanding where I was and the things I was struggling with. And he just held space for me and just listened in and really gave me a sense that, wow, this is somebody who, who's not going to judge me, who can just understand where I'm at, have some empathy for that, but also not just be sympathetic, but be able to.
[00:03:57] Help me to see how to move forward because [00:04:00] because the reality was I was just at a in a very Challenging place and I didn't want to be there anymore, but I didn't know how to get out of it And so I ended up signing up with my first coach and I think it was like four thousand dollars I was gonna spend for the year for this for this coach and we were gonna be meeting almost weekly And at the time there was that I had so little value in who I was and I saw myself is is so unworthy that I thought this is the worst decision I can make.
[00:04:31] We're probably going to go out of business because I'm about to spend so much money on my own personal development and at the time it just seemed like this. This daunting thing that, you know, that was very unsure of. It was very scary to step into that coaching and to make that investment and to, to spend that money on myself.
[00:04:50] But as I look back, I was able to get on the phone with this gentleman. His name is Michael Savage, and he just sat there and held space for me. And [00:05:00] it was like the first time I had truly been able to have someone hear me and just understand where I was, what I was going through. And in that space, he was able to create some, some safety for me to just open up and and to get some perspective.
[00:05:16] And then he began to bring these tools to me and he began to help coach me to see what the problems were, see the stories and the beliefs and the patterns and habits that were holding me back. And slowly, but surely, he helped to really not, not do the work for me or be a savior, a coach and someone who could help me get out of my own way and realize that I had created all of my own problems and, and I actually had the power to solve all of my own problems.
[00:05:50] Tanner: Right. And that's one of the most powerful things is you're, you're paying for perspective. You're paying for them to help you see what you can't see
[00:05:59] Franklin: yourself. [00:06:00] You know, we look in the mirror and, you know, we shave every day or we, you know, comb our hair, brush our teeth, but there is so much that we cannot see when we look at ourselves and it takes another person and it takes a person of skill to be able to see those things that are in our way and then also be able to help us understand or give us the strategies and tools to get past those obstacles that are, uh, They're holding us back.
[00:06:28] So if you look around the world, one of the things I truly believe, if you look at all of the high performers in the world, whether that's in the sports arena or the the business world or wherever, I think they all have one thing in common. I think every high performer. has a coach. They have somebody that's there to give them feedback and give them perspective so that they can improve and grow and get better.
[00:06:54] I mean, you look at Patrick Mahomes, you look at, you know, prominent business leaders, you look at [00:07:00] anyone who's out there doing something big and they've got someone in their corner. Showing them how to to get better. And so, as we go through this, we really want to help you understand what coaching looks like.
[00:07:15] We're going to talk about some mindsets and perspectives that are really important to have when it comes to coaching. We want to talk through How you can even know if you need a coach because there's some really specific questions that you need to answer and recognize that can help you make that determination.
[00:07:31] If you find that you need a coach, why you would even want to coach and what that person is going to help you be able to do. We need to talk through how a great coach works. Tanner and I both now have had multiple coaches, have a lot of experience with this, and there's certain things that great coaches all will have in common.
[00:07:50] It's important to know what a coach, a good coach will and will not do. And it's important to understand how you can find a coach. And so we're going to go through [00:08:00] today and really kind of deep dive this whole concept and this whole idea. And for the men that we talked to and the men that were here to serve.
[00:08:11] You are the kind of man who wants more, who wants to be a better husband and father for your family, the kind of man that wants to grow and, and become the greatest version of yourself possible. And, you know, if you're comfortable where you are, if you have no desire to grow, this message is probably not for you, but if you have a passion for life and if you have a passion for really realizing your fullest potential.
[00:08:40] Then this one strategy right here is probably one of the most powerful things that you could ever Adopt and bring into your life in order to do that. Absolutely.
[00:08:49] Tanner: So how do I know if I need a coach?
[00:08:52] Franklin: so number one if you continue to struggle with the same challenge over and over [00:09:00] and over. If your life feels like a broken record where you're either always having the same fight with your wife, you're always having the same challenge in business.
[00:09:10] You always or you continue to, you know, lose your cool with your kids and then you walk away going, God, why do I always get so triggered? Or maybe you're telling yourself the same story over and over again, and all that story does is cause anger, resentment, fear, insecurity. If you just continue to experience those same problems over and over again, that is a great sign and indicator that you've got a problem in your way that you cannot see, and there's someone You need to bring on to your team in order to see that obstacle for you, right?
[00:09:46] Tanner: I think we've all been there, you know, meeting the same problems over and over again and again. But it could also be you just feel stuck, whether that's in business or just in life in general, you just feel like stuck and you're trying to [00:10:00] figure out what that next move
[00:10:00] Franklin: is. That's a great point. I think that can also come through in, in this just sense that, you know, there's something more.
[00:10:08] And I think that's where I was. It's like, God, I know that this, this place I'm in right now, this can't be all there is this. I'm not going to accept that I'm just doomed to the miserable life in the, in the way that I feel internally right now. I just reject that. But I didn't know what the answer was.
[00:10:27] And so, it really was that just sense that I know there's more, I know that more is possible, but I don't know how to get there. So, that, that's a great way to know that you need a coach. If you just have that feeling that there's, there's something else out there for you. It could also be you're not hitting your goals.
[00:10:44] If you have certain goals in place, and for some reason, you just cannot seem to ever hit your goals, and that, that can be in your physical body, that can be in your, uh, with your marriage and your family, that can be. In your mission, you have in life that can be in your money and your [00:11:00] income or running a business.
[00:11:01] A lot of times you've got these different areas of life, whether that's your family, your body, your, your business, and they all tie back to your mindset and they all tie back to a lot of the unconscious patterns and routines that you have that are actually the what's driving those current results and lack of what you truly want.
[00:11:23] So why would you want a coach? We all have blind spots. We all have unconscious patterns and habits and routines that drive our day to day results and experience in life. And because it's a blind spot, you, you need somebody else who's standing off to the side and has perspective on the things that you're doing and can help you just.
[00:11:47] See what you can't see. And two, it could
[00:11:49] Tanner: be as simple as if you knew the answer, you would have already gotten there. If you could fix it yourself, you probably would have. And it's like, if you were trying to get to a [00:12:00] destination, you kept passing the same sign over and over and you never stopped to ask for directions and you never actually get to that destination.
[00:12:08] That's what a coach can stand in the gap for you and help you get past whatever problem or obstacle
[00:12:15] Franklin: is in your way. And a lot of times that shows up to his self sabotage. We consciously know what we want, maybe, but it's that unconscious side of us that keeps tripping us up, getting in our way and ultimately Is the really hard thing to, uh, to get us line of sight on, but a coach can do that a good coach will be able to see those things that you can't and get them out of your way and help you create a game plan around them so that you can move forward, right?
[00:12:45] Tanner: And really boil down to why you're having that self sabotage. And it may be because. What you're after is not actually what you ultimately wants, or you're going down the wrong path to get there, or it could be an [00:13:00] ego thing or a pride thing that's standing in your way of hitting and achieving
[00:13:04] Franklin: that goal.
[00:13:05] And that brings up really the next point of this is you've got to understand the things that. Are going to stand in your way with hiring a coach and the number one thing that stood in my way is I was starting this journey was just a scarcity mindset. I had this belief that I was not worthy of investing in myself and I also just had this sense that I wouldn't good enough for it.
[00:13:32] I can invest all day into my business, I could invest in my people, I can invest in my family. But the, the idea of investing in myself. Was foreign and and I just didn't I just didn't see that I was worthy of that and getting past that and understanding that You are the best investment you will ever make the dollars that you put into your own growth will drive your Success [00:14:00] in life more than anything else you can do it is the thing that you can invest in inside of you is always going to be greater than what you can invest in outside of you.
[00:14:10] And so getting those things out of the way, and if it's ego and pride, you just have to step into this with a coachable mindset and, uh, and with a humble heart and the willingness to just consider. A perspective that you might not have had already and be willing to do the work around what you're shown.
[00:14:31] Because if you step into it with pride and ego, you're not gonna get out of it what you need and you're really pride and ego is what is going to keep you stuck where you're at and a big part of the problem that you have to begin with again, if you could have solved this problem that you have on your own, you would have done it already.
[00:14:50] You wouldn't continue to repeat it. And so getting your ego and pride out of the way, being humble, being coachable and willing to do the work and trust the [00:15:00] process that you're given is a huge part of, uh, of getting the things out of the way, uh, that are in your way right now. What would you
[00:15:08] Tanner: say if, you know, it's not an ego thing.
[00:15:10] It's not a pride thing. That's staying in their way of getting a coach and it's not necessarily scarcity. It's more just happy. Like, I don't even. No, I see a reason to have a coach. What would you say for that?
[00:15:23] Franklin: If you don't, no one can make you care. And if you're happy where you're at, this probably is not the message for you.
[00:15:30] You know, I think that no one can care more for you more than you can. And so you just have to look at what's at stake. Like, what is at stake? In your decision to not overcome the problems and challenges that you face right now, what's at stake in your marriage? Is it thriving? And if so, how could you improve it even beyond what it is now?
[00:15:57] If your marriage is in trouble? [00:16:00] Like what hangs in the balance of your decision to submit to a process in a way of of figuring things out and really understanding your part in this. I think the biggest thing is I'm thinking through this to answer your question on on apathy. You have to raise the stakes.
[00:16:18] You have to understand what is on the line here when it comes to your family, when it comes to your wife and Children, your life. You know, if you're apathetic, you just don't have enough on the line. If you're apathetic, you just don't haven't gone through the process of really realizing how much can be taken away from you.
[00:16:37] And you have to shift your perspective on that. I am gonna invest in coaching for the rest of my life because I know what hangs in the, like, I know what was at stake as I look back. If I hadn't hired a coach to begin with, there's no way my life would look like it does today. There's no way I'm on a podcast today sharing this message.
[00:16:56] My marriage would look radically different. My connection with my [00:17:00] children would look radically different. My business, there's no way my business would be where it is today had I not. cared enough to invest in this and to walk down this path.
[00:17:11] Tanner: That's such an important question to ask is, you know, what's at stake, but also what's possible.
[00:17:17] What happens if I do nothing? But what happens if I step up and really step in to this
[00:17:24] Franklin: growth? That's such a powerful point to make. A coach will help you see a possibility that you cannot imagine today. Like the life I live today. I could not have envisioned when I first started. And what a great coach will help you do is open up your perspective and consider new possibilities and see things in a different light that you simply cannot see from the elevation that you're at.
[00:17:51] A great coach is ahead of you. They're at a higher elevation and they have more awareness of the Possibilities that do [00:18:00] exist. And so they can help bring you up to their level so that you can see what's possible because it's all possible for you. This life can be so abundant, can be so full of joy and passion and love and excitement and growth.
[00:18:15] But it takes work and it's not just something we're born with and it's not something that is is a free ticket. Like a great coach is going to be able to get really clear On where you are today, the facts of your life as they as they are right now, and they're going to help you understand where you are in order to go anywhere.
[00:18:36] You have to know your starting point, doesn't matter where you are, if you want to go to a particular destination, a particular city, whatever the case may be, it doesn't matter how you get there or it won't matter how you get there if you don't realize where you're starting from, it's that starting point of looking what are the facts of in the reality around my, my physical health, my mindset, my [00:19:00] marriage, my money, My mission in life, like all of these things, you have to get clear on where you are right now, and you also have to get clear on what are the roadblocks and the things that are holding me back from progressing forward.
[00:19:12] So they help you get clear on where you are now, and then they help you paint this picture of where you want to go. They create a greater possibility. They really help expand your mind into do what could be possible. I know when I first started coaching, I just didn't give myself permission to even dream or think about what I wanted.
[00:19:34] And I think Many men find themselves in that spot we, we accept or we just take on what our family, society, community tells us we should want or, or who we should be. And yet we don't give ourselves permission to answer that question for ourselves. And so, so a great coach is going to open up that space for you to be able to see the possibility that exists for you.
[00:19:55] And once you have kind of where you are now and where you want to go, what you want your marriage to [00:20:00] be like and look like, and your connection and your, your relationships and what you want your. Your physical body and your in your career and all these different areas of life that matter, they're going to open up that gap and then they're going to be able to help you build a road map between the two.
[00:20:17] They're able to connect the dots and show you that gap that exists and show you how to begin closing that gap and moving from where you are today into where you ultimately want to be.
[00:20:28] Tanner: It's almost like your coach is helping you take inventory of your life and in all the important areas and one thing that my coach does with me and I encourage you to jot this down is we go through a what we call win win and what that stands for is what's important.
[00:20:48] Now, and what's important next, and that's the, the win win, and that's a very powerful process to go through, especially when you're first starting out with a coach, but continuing to [00:21:00] come back to that as well.
[00:21:01] Franklin: And that's such a great point. And it's so important to realize that no matter where you are today, there is something better waiting for you.
[00:21:10] You are not stuck. You are not condemned. You are not forced into staying where you are if you'll do the work to move forward. And a great coach will help you see how to do that. And a huge part of what they will do is simply ask the right questions and help you ask the right questions and understand that You already have the answers.
[00:21:32] All of the best coaches I've had, none of them have ever told me what to do or really even given me the answer to my problem. They've helped me ask the right questions and pose the right questions and challenged me in order to help me see what I just couldn't see. But at the end of the day, the answer has always been there in my heart, in my mind, and I've always known what to do.
[00:21:55] I just couldn't couldn't see it without a coach. And so they'll help you [00:22:00] ask the right questions. They will give you tools and training that will empower you to solve your own problems. And I think that's one of the, the most. One of the most powerful and beneficial things that I found with coaching is just this idea that they train you to solve your own problems and you're not always looking to somebody else to solve your problems because the reality is we all have a common denominator with the best decisions we've made in the worst decisions we've made in that common denominator is us.
[00:22:30] Like we have to realize that we are the creators of our reality and our thoughts and our actions are what create that. And so when they can give us the tools and the training to take control, then we can begin to move forward and actually build a life that matters to us. And then finally, they're going to hold you accountable and they're not going to, a good coach will hold you accountable and a good coach is not going to accept excuses.
[00:22:54] I know that when I work with coaches, there is a compression in a, in a space [00:23:00] created where It's just, you don't want to let them down. You don't want to disappoint them. And if you hold yourself to a standard, which if, if you're a man listening to this podcast and wanting more, that you should hold yourself to high standards.
[00:23:14] And so there's this natural really container created where it's like you're, you're putting yourself in this position of just leveraging the relationship you have with that coach to help move you forward and to ensure that you're going to do what you need to do.
[00:23:29] Tanner: If you have a meeting with your coach, whether a call or something like that.
[00:23:33] And, you know, you might have phoned it in that week and didn't quite hit the mark and you're not a little bit nervous and palms aren't a little bit sweaty before that call. You're probably not with the right coach because their job is to hold you accountable and make sure that you're doing what you say you're going
[00:23:49] Franklin: to do.
[00:23:50] Some of the biggest moves and most profound actions that I have taken have, have been right before. within a day or maybe a week of [00:24:00] a particular phone call or conversation with a coach where I know the accountability is coming. And so it forces me into the space of having to make that decision or to show up on that call and say, Oh, I didn't do the work or I procrastinated on that thing or pushed it to the back burner.
[00:24:17] And And most times I'm just not willing to let myself go to that place and pay them to tell me what I already know I should have done.
[00:24:27] Tanner: So we talked about what a coach will do. Now let's talk about what a coach won't
[00:24:32] Franklin: do for you. This is another really important mindset to go into a coaching relationship with is realizing that number one, they will not solve your problem for you.
[00:24:43] They help you gain the tools and the resources and the perspectives. But ultimately, you have to take control of your own life. You have to take control of your own destiny. And you can't farm this out or, or delegate it to somebody else. So if you're expecting your coach [00:25:00] to just do it all, that's not how it's gonna work.
[00:25:03] Like you have to be willing to do the work yourself and they will not do it for you, nor can they. And, you know, the biggest thing beyond that is they simply can't make you want it. Like they cannot make you desire a better life. They can't make you care about your family. They can't make you care about growing into your full potential.
[00:25:25] And that's what coaching is about. It is about helping someone realize their full potential, their full God given potential and ability so that they can serve the world better, so that they can love more deeply, so that they can create. more value and more impact in the world. And having a coach is like the, the cheat code for being able to do that.
[00:25:44] And it's like jumping on the fast track. It's like riding the elevator instead of taking the stairs. You both will get you to the top, but one's going to be much faster and require a lot less of you. And you're going to make a lot fewer mistakes along the way. And a coach [00:26:00] gives such fast feedback that you can course correct.
[00:26:04] Even when you take a wrong step. You don't just keep making that wrong step. You're able to course correct quickly because they give you that quick feedback, that valuable perspective that allows you to simply move forward. Yeah, and
[00:26:16] Tanner: a great coach is gonna help you get further faster and make sure that not just are you going fast, but you're going efficient.
[00:26:25] And you're actually hitting the targets that you set.
[00:26:28] Franklin: Having a coach is like an unfair advantage, man. Like if you want to one up life and if you want to stack the deck in your favor, if you want to create just really an unfair advantage, get a coach because they're going to help you do things that you just cannot do on your own.
[00:26:47] And again, if you could, you would, if you could have done it, you would have done it. And so. Just realize the power of this strategy and tool and principle that we're sharing with you today. So, [00:27:00] moving along, how do you choose a coach? What you want to look for in a coach is someone with experience. Ideally, you're not a guinea pig and you're not someone's first client that you're working with.
[00:27:13] You also want to ensure that You're investing in the best coach you can afford, just like anything else, you can spend as much or as little as you want, but I would highly recommend that you, you invest to the point that it's a little bit painful because that again creates leverage for yourself to show up and actually do the work and gain the value out of it.
[00:27:36] The more you pay, the more value you will gain from it, but find someone with an experience and invest in the best coach you can afford. And then make sure that there's alignment that you should click with this person. There should be some synergy. You should be able to feel that that this person and you are going to get along and it's going to be a productive and positive relationship.
[00:27:57] So if there's a dynamic where you you [00:28:00] just don't feel like it's a fit, then You really need to pay attention to that because this is a relationship and you're probably going to be working with this person from anywhere from six months to a couple of years. If it's a, if it's a good coaching relationship, the coach should have a process and a road map.
[00:28:16] They should have a program and a system that they're able to show you so that they're able to consistently help you move forward. If. their plan is simply to get on a phone call every week and hear about your problems and then just schedule the next call. That that's not a plan and that's not a program.
[00:28:35] So have them walk you through their system and how they do it. And then ultimately, you also want to be with someone who practices what they preach. This is about integrity and anyone can go read a book, learn some information and regurgitate it. But what you want to find is that, is that man in that coach who has.
[00:28:55] Been there and done it and they're leading from what they [00:29:00] live not just from what they have learned So there's a deep sense of integrity where they have found their way to this place Where their life is working They have the tools they have the resources And now they have this this mission and this desire to share that with the world to help other people find what they have found Leading
[00:29:18] Tanner: from what they live.
[00:29:19] That's so good. I think we've all had that professor in college that never actually practice what they're teaching. They just went from school to teaching and there's something totally different from that than the professor that's coming back. It's like I did this for however many years and I was very successful.
[00:29:40] I'm doing this because I genuinely want to help the next
[00:29:43] Franklin: generation. That's a great point to make even for you and me right now and the people listening to this podcast. Each of us have invested in multiple coaches over the years. I know myself, I've invested in at least half a dozen coaches. I've spent thousands and thousands of dollars on [00:30:00] that coaching and going to seminars and programs and being part of groups.
[00:30:03] And it really is a part of life now. But point being, we are not suggesting anything on this podcast that we do not deeply believe in and that is not a deeply a part of our life. The men listening to this podcast, you can. Choose to do these things or not, but at the end of the day, that's not going to change what we do, because this is simply a, a matter of how we live and how we operate in our lives.
[00:30:27] And it's, and it's just a valuable tool that we're sharing because we know the power, because we've seen it in our own lives. A
[00:30:32] Tanner: hundred percent. So I know that when you found your first coach, you found them online, but what are some ways that someone can go about finding
[00:30:40] Franklin: a coach? It can be really daunting, I think, for men to even step into this space.
[00:30:45] I mean, it's intimidating. You're going to be sharing personal stuff with someone that you don't know, you don't want to make a mistake or choose the wrong person and who do you choose and how do you know if if it's the right one for you. For me, I [00:31:00] believe that there is a lot of truth in the old saying that when the student is ready, the teacher appears and I was ready for a coach.
[00:31:11] And what started happening is I started noticing the things around me that I was listening to on podcasts and, and just seeing around. And at the time when I first got into coaching and, or hiring coaches, I was hearing these ads for these Tony Robbins coaches that are part of his team that are executive coaches that you can work with that are, that focus on your mindset and, and are really just kind of performance level coaches.
[00:31:38] And so that's what I did and reached out to. I would say for anyone looking to get into coaching, when I saw Tony Robbins, I thought, well, he's, he's a pretty significant and credible name in the space. And so there was just a lot of validity behind him. So if, if you're stepping into coaching and looking at a really [00:32:00] reputable program, that's a great place to start.
[00:32:02] And I would say Tony Robbins organization is a fantastic place to start, but you can also ask around if you've got friends, family. Colleagues who have done coaching get their feedback and and just know that you can't really mess this up. The biggest and most important thing is that you just start that you hire that first coach, gain some experience, see some growth, and then eventually you're gonna probably outgrow that coach.
[00:32:28] And at some point be looking for another one. That's why Tanner and I have had so many is at some point we, we kind of outgrow the, the skill set or we learn all the tools and the resources that a particular coach has to offer. And then we move on to the next one, taking those, that growth with us and applying new tools and new skill sets with the new coach to what we've already learned.
[00:32:51] What
[00:32:51] Tanner: are some last minute thoughts or concepts you want to leave our listeners
[00:32:55] Franklin: with today? Yeah, as we wrap this up, just a few additional [00:33:00] mindsets to consider as you're looking at or asking yourself whether or not coaching is right for you. A few things that are really important, one, when you hire a coach, you're paying for perspective.
[00:33:10] You are paying somebody to see things you can't, and there is just tremendous value in that. I think you also have to consider, like, do you have a growth or a fixed mindset? A fixed mindset says, I cannot do anything about my circumstances. What exists for me is all that ever will be, and I can't do anything about it.
[00:33:30] And if that's your mentality, then you're not going to get anything out of a coaching. Relationship. You really have to have the this growth mindset that says that I have created my circumstances in my reality and I have all that I need in order to get me out of those circumstances and out of that reality and so really just take an ownership of your life and realize that coaching is is not mentorship.
[00:33:55] The thing about a coaching relationship is there is money exchanged and there [00:34:00] is a an expectation that the coach is going to provide value and that the student is going to do work and that there is going to be leverage created on the student through through paying money to them. But a mentorship is simply someone who has had experience that shares that experience, but there's no obligation or expectation beyond that.
[00:34:20] It's really just. A mentor gives of their time, gives of their experience and wisdom, but it's up to the the mentee to really determine and decide what they take and do and what they don't. Whereas with coaching, there's a lot more accountability on both sides that's required and just a natural part of it.
[00:34:42] I think you have to realize life is a mirror. Your life is a mirror of your thoughts and your actions. All of your thoughts, all of your actions boil down into the world you've created for yourself. And the only way to change the, the reality that you live in is to change your mind, to change your actions, and to [00:35:00] change the stories that are going on in your mind.
[00:35:02] at a subconscious level that you don't even realize are there. And so, I think the last thing that I would say for the men, especially the married men listening to this podcast is, why should you hire a coach? I believe it's because your wife deserves it. And here's what I mean by that. I believe that your wife, I believe that our wives don't necessarily marry the men that we are.
[00:35:26] I think our wives marry the men that they know we can be. There's this greater version that they see in us and I think most times we cannot even see it in ourselves and we owe them the gift of becoming the greatest version, the greatest husband, father, leader, provider that we can possibly be and show up as that man that they saw on the day that we got married.
[00:35:52] And a coach is one of the most profound and just powerful ways in order to give your wife [00:36:00] that, that gift. I mean, she deserves it and you deserve to, to live a life that is full out at your highest potential, at your highest capacity, at your highest ability to create value in this world. And a coach is simply the cheat code and the ultimate hack, if you will, for how to make that happen.
[00:36:20] Tanner: I love it. Well, there you have it. These are the reasons why we think you should have a coach and how to go about finding one. We hope this was helpful. Not just beneficial for you, but something that you'll actually go and seek out and find a coach. But if you have found value in our podcast, and we've been blessed to receive so many feedback from so many different people, we would ask that you would give us a A review on Apple Podcasts.
[00:36:54] We'd love to hear your feedback,
[00:36:55] Franklin: and if there is a man who you know that needs a coach, please share [00:37:00] this message with them today.
[00:37:02] Tanner: We ask that if you found value in this, that you subscribe to the podcast and share with someone that you think would find value in this as well.
[00:37:12] Franklin: If there's a man that you know who would benefit from this, please share it with them.
[00:37:16] We want to get these messages and these tools and resources out to as many men as we can so that marriages can be thriving, families can heal, so kids have great dads, so that wives have great husbands, and one man at a time in this world we can make a difference.