Franklin: [00:00:00] Right now, the world needs great men who will stand up and lead with honor, serve with purpose, and courageously fulfill their God given roles as husbands, fathers, leaders, and men. I'm your host, Franklin Swan, bringing you practical tools and powerful conversations you can use every day to build yourself into the man God is calling you to be.
This is the world needs men. Let's go. All right. Welcome back to the world needs men podcast. We're hosts, Franklin Swan and Justin Mosley. Dr. Justin Mosley is my guest today. And Justin, I'm really excited to have you on. Justin is known as the mindset doctor. He's a former chiropractor turned, uh, public speaker and a transformational coach, a TEDx speaker, and really just is.
On [00:01:00] a mission to, to help people from the stage other than, uh, from a chiropractic chair and talks all things mindset. And so, Justin, thank you so much, man, for coming on. I'm, I'm really excited for today's, uh, discussion.
Justin: Frankly, man, glad to be here. Glad we were connected and excited for this conversation.
Franklin: Yeah, we got to, uh, thank David Waldie for this. Uh, and so really glad he, uh, he made this connection for us. Absolutely, man. Well, why don't you dive in a little bit and share some of your backstory and kind of where you got to where you are now and kind of just share that journey with us.
Justin: I'm a chiropractor by trade.
My wife's a chiropractor as well. So we, I'm from Nashville, Tennessee. We got to practice outside in Hendersonville, Tennessee. And in 2012, we opened our practice and hit the ground running, man. built a great family practice, uh, one of the largest in the areas and helping people making a difference, living my purpose and did that for years.
And then 2018, I actually had a near death accident. I was on a men's retreat [00:02:00] and we went whitewater rafting and it was just a freak accident. We hit these class, class five Rapids, the raft tipped over and I was sitting in the back of the raft and I got trapped underneath the rapid itself as I was tossed off the raft and the rapids started pushing me under.
And I still remember the sound of my helmet scraping down the rocks as I was being pushed under. And the last thing I remember thinking is, I'm not coming back up. And I lost consciousness. And everything went black. And then everything went bright white. And it was the most peaceful, serene feeling I'd ever felt.
And I don't know how long that lasted, but thankfully I heard a voice that said, wake up. And I came back to consciousness and I was trapped underwater wedged between two rocks. And I tried to push. And I didn't budge. And I kept pushing and pushing. And thankfully, my adrenaline kicked in. And I was able to push hard enough.
I broke one of the buckles on my life jacket, floated to the top, gasped for breath, and got swept down the river. And man, at that point, I was rocked. What just happened? [00:03:00] And as you know, man, we all question our purpose in life. Why am I here? But in that moment, I ask a different question. I said, why am I still here?
Because things could have been different in that moment. What if I didn't hear wake up? Or what if I wasn't strong enough to break free? So, I did a lot of reflection on that. Why am I still here? And that's a question you can ask today. Like, nobody has to go through a near death accident. Unfortunately, a lot of times in life, we change when we hit a rock bottom moment.
We lose a loved one. We start to contemplate life or relationships. We lose those and we just hit this rock bottom and then we start to change, but it doesn't have to do that. You could ask yourself right now, why am I still here? Because life is a gift. It's not guaranteed. You didn't have to wake up today, but you did.
So because you did, you're here for a reason. So you can really understand why am I still here, and you get a bigger purpose. And for me, like I said, I was helping people, I was making a difference locally, but what I realized is God's got a [00:04:00] bigger plan for me. And if I truly wanted to step into the calling that God had on my life, I had to exchange my comfort for my calling.
Because I had gotten comfortable. Life was good. Money was good. Me and my wife, we traveled a lot. We were living a good life, but I knew I could make a bigger impact. So I had to exchange my comfort for my calling. So then I stepped back and I was like, well, I looked at my life. What am I passionate about?
I loved mindset, personal development, leadership, business, marketing, all those things. So I said, I just want to put out content that helps people. So in the first of 2020, I started a Facebook group and I started putting out content. And I didn't know if anybody was going to listen. I don't know if you ever felt that way.
You start a podcast, you start doing things. I don't know if anybody's going to listen. I'm just going to start putting things out. And I started that Facebook group and it grew to 1000 people in the first month. So I was like, okay, well, people are listening and it just grew from there. I started running mastermind retreats, mastermind groups, doing coaching, started speaking all over, which has led to did my [00:05:00] first Ted talk in 2022.
And then I just did one recently where I shared how I overcame my fear of public speaking, but. Which that's been a game changer for me. Cause now I've done over 1500 talks and presentations all over the world. And that's what I'm passionate about. Just making a bigger impact. And so I know that was kind of a long winded answer, but that's kind of who I am and where, where I'm at at this point came from, man, I built a great business, but a near death accident changed everything for me and led me on this new trajectory I'm at today.
Franklin: I think it's really important to point out, like you felt like you were living your life's purpose before this happened. So it wasn't like you were obviously on the wrong path or doing something that wasn't in alignment. At least you didn't feel that way. It's interesting where the, where that life experience jilted you to the point of just reassessing is, is this really the purpose?
Or is it? Is there a different purpose I need to pursue at this point?
Justin: Because a lot of times we go through the motions of life, right? We just get in this [00:06:00] routine and it could be a mundane routine where we're not having success or we could have success and still get in a routine where it's just. The same old same old every single day.
So one of the things that hit me from my near death accident, I asked myself, man, if it all would have ended in that moment, is this the legacy I want to leave? And the answer was no. And this still drives me to this day is I don't want to get to the end of my life and realize I could have done more. I could have helped more people.
I could have made a bigger impact. So that's what I want to do every single day. And again, it's easy for me to say, yes, I had a near death accident. I can realize, Hey, life is precious. But everybody listening, life is precious. You don't have to go through that. You can ask yourself, like I said earlier, why am I still here?
But then do that legacy question. If my life ended today, is this the legacy I want to leave? And if not, I challenge you to figure out what kind of legacy you do want to leave and go after that and become the best version of [00:07:00] yourself, helping the most people as you can.
Franklin: And ideally, you're not waiting around for that life event to happen that that just forces you to ask that question.
Yeah. Unfortunately, that's what people do. It's hard to come out of a near death experience and not ask that question. If you're, you know, serious about your life at any level. And so, you know, that's just super powerful for any of the men listening today to realize if you woke up today, you are still here, whether you had a.
a tragic event or hit rock bottom or not, things could be really great, but you're still here. And so there's a purpose for that.
Justin: Absolutely. And one of the things I like to teach people is, I mean, life doesn't happen to you. It happens for you. And a lot of people talk about that concept. Life doesn't happen to me.
It happens for me. Cause a lot of people get stuck in that victim mentality at first of just all these things happen to me. Why am I this way? I can't. Achieve success that I want life just happening to me when you realize no it's not it's happening for you Then you get to flip the script and realize no it's happening for a reason And if things keep happening [00:08:00] over and over I haven't learned the lesson yet I need to learn that will get me over this and to the next level But then there's the next level from that life happens doesn't happen to me, it happens for me, then it happens by me.
When you realize you are the creator of your life, and I'm a believer, so I believe God is the creator of everything, but if we were creating the likeness and image of God, He's a creator, then by default we are creators, and we create through our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. So the things that we're thinking, are we feeding our mind with positive things?
Are we surrounding ourself with people that encourage us and inspire us to go bigger and to help more people and make a bigger impact? Because when you realize it's not happening to you, it's happening for you, and it's happening by you, and then it's happening through you. So not only are Is it happening just in your own ecosystem?
You're able to affect the people around you, and you're able to increase their capacity. You're able to help them make a bigger impact in the world. And that's what I want to do is not only be the best version of myself to live the [00:09:00] best life and help the most people, but then help them live their best life and make a bigger impact in their ecosystem as well.
Franklin: And how you would define mindset for, for the men listening to this.
Justin: Yeah. There's different definitions out there. One of the biggest things to look at is, is just where is your mind set? Is it set that you think finances are limited? Resources are limited. I can only achieve X amount. Well, based on what, like one of the things I like to teach people is nothing has meaning until we give it meaning.
Like for me, I have this, this necklace I'm wearing. A lot of people ask, what is this circle on your neck? And it is, it's, it's called a money ring. A guy in one of my masterminds gave it to me and it's how they exchange money in this third world country. They wear these money rings and that's their signal of wealth.
So that could be one meaning, but for me, the meaning is the price that Christ paid for me. The signature of money for me is not the price of just physical [00:10:00] green money that we exchange, but what is the price that he paid for my life? So because I have a different meaning, when I put this thing on, it means something different to me.
So the way you look at the world, there's that, that cliche saying of when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. And it's so true. When you open your mindset to what's possible, you see things in a different light. And I like to use an example. So I got a, Like my wife got me this like 40 ounce, uh, Stanley thing here.
So it can only hold 40 ounces. If I try to put more in there, it would just overflow. So what do I need to do? If I want to hold more in my container is I got to get a bigger container. I need to get a gallon or I need to get a fish tank size. thing. And I can hold more in this thing. So that's what we have to do in our own minds.
We have to increase the capacity of our mind. So how do we do that? The books that we're reading, the podcasts we're listening to, conversations like this and the other people are having on the show, expand our mind to what's possible. So when it comes to mindset, a lot of times [00:11:00] we don't realize we are stuck.
Even if we've worked on personal development and leadership and these types of things, we get stuck at a certain level. And I believe all businesses get stuck and we're stuck at the level of the leader. The business can only grow to the level the leader grows. So the more you work on leadership, mindset, personal development, the more your company grows.
The more you work on it, the more you're a better spouse, your better husband, your better father, the more you work on yourself. So realizing no matter how good your life is or how great you have it, there's always work that you can do to become a better person and help more people.
Franklin: You talked about your personal faith and I'm really interested to hear your take on how does our mindset marry up to our walk with Christ or our faith, you know, whatever you believe in.
If you've got faith, I feel like there's this, there's this sense that they're separate things and that they're almost [00:12:00] incongruent or can't, you know, they almost compete with each other. But I'd love, you know, as, as a man of faith and as someone who is, is deeply passionate about the mindset and the power of it, talk to me about like how those things complement each other and how they work together in your mind.
Justin: Yep. So for me, it's, I mean, everything that I have, everything I've accomplished is not because of me. It's in spite of me and it's all him. So I give the honor and glory to him. And for me, it is looking, everything that I do is looking through that lens of faith. And even for me, I talk about law of attraction and manifestation, not from some new age woo woo thing, but realizing science has caught up to a lot of this.
And as far as like the reticular activating system in our brain and going back to scripture, I mean, it starts with. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And when you renew your mind and you open your mind to what's possible, then you're able, again, I go through that lens of helping people because it's all [00:13:00] service to me.
And that's why I like building businesses. I've built multiple businesses off of two things. One is Jesus didn't come to be served. He came to serve. And then the other ones, the Zig Ziglar quote, you can get anything in life that you want if you help enough other people get what they want, but it's all about that heart of service.
And for me, I think that comes from my faith and just being rooted in how much Jesus came to serve. So I kind of look at everything through that lens. And so like people watch the movie, the secret, they think law of attraction. I can just sit in my office. And imagine a house or the car that I want and all of a sudden the car is going to be in the driveway.
And like, no, the basic principle is yes, you have to have a vision of it. And the Bible is clear about having a vision. When you have a vision based on serving people, the money becomes the byproduct. When your business is based off serving people and making an impact, money is just a byproduct and you should be paid well if you're serving people well.
So that's how I look and that's [00:14:00] how I blend faith into business. I had a mentor and he was told. Years ago, when he was starting his business, uh, a mentor of his said, man, you got to take the faith stuff out of your business or you're going to fail. And he told that guy, well, then I guess I'm going to fail because this is who I am.
It's just a part of me. And then that guy, he went on to just create, become a multimillionaire and has done amazing things in the world with his wealth. But it all comes down to, do you have that heart of service? And that's where the faith for me is forefront and everything else is a byproduct of the faith.
Franklin: I will say bringing faith into business is absolutely one of the best things you can do. But I mean, you don't do it for the dollars. You do it because that's the honor, you know, if, if you're a faith based man, like that's the honorable and right thing to do. And then on top of that, realizing that your mindset, which you have one, if you're listening to this, you have a mindset.
The only question is what the mindset is. Oh yeah. That's not in competition with, with God and with creation and how He [00:15:00] created the world. It's in alignment with it, it's how He built us. And we can either go through life with a mindset based on default, just what we've kind of been brought up with and, and just naturally given, or we can design that mindset realizing that we don't have to just be, you know, victims to whatever life circumstances are.
Justin: Yeah. And I love the example of the thermostat because our thermostat is set right now. Our financial thermostat, as you notice, a lot of people, let's say in business gets stuck around a certain level and it may go up a little bit or down a little bit, but overall kind of gets stuck at this one level. It can be like that in your relationships.
Like I said, finances, anything. We have this. this thermostat, it's set. And let's say in this room, it was set at 70 degrees. Well, if it gets hotter and it starts to creep up, the air conditioning will kick in and bring it back down to 70. If it starts to get too, too cold, the heat can kick in and bring it back up to 70.
[00:16:00] Well, what if you want to increase Your finances. What do you got to do? You got to increase the thermostat. You got to set it to 75 so you can actually heat up the place. Well, that's what you got to do in your mind. You got to create. Okay, let's just use this example. You can't make 100, 000 on a 50, 000 mindset.
You can't make 1, 000, 000 on a 500, 000 mindset. And you can't make 10, 000, 000 on a 1, 000, 000 mindset. It's all increasing the mindset and turning up that thermostat. Where is that mindset and how do I go bigger? And I, one of the best ways to do that is get around people that are thinking bigger, thinking bigger, doing bigger things.
And that's where the faith piece comes in for me because I protect who I surround myself with. Cause there's a lot of people out there very successful making a lot of money that don't have their faith in order and they're doing some shady things behind the scenes. So if I was all about the money and wanted to go that way, yeah, I could chase that.
But that's not important to me. What important to me is the faith first and surrounding myself with [00:17:00] the people that are doing it the right way. And I get around them and they can show you, okay, as they make more wealth, what can they do? How can they make a bigger impact and serve the kingdom with their wealth?
Turn up the thermostat. Let's get around the people that are thinking bigger. Feed your mind. And that's the biggest thing. I mean, God didn't give us a spirit of fear, but a power and love and a sound mind. So when we continue to feed our mind, all those things, those negative thoughts, I can't do this. I'm not worthy.
The success just isn't for me. I should be broke. Whatever the story is, that's not of him. That's not the Bible. That's not who God says we are. So we can get those thoughts out of our head and start replacing the thoughts with our being. Read the Bible. See who God says you are. I got it right here. He, he believes in us.
Like, what if we believed in ourself as much as he believes in us? And I like to look at that. Just look at your kids. Your kids will believe that you can do anything. You're their superhero. What if you believed in yourself as much as [00:18:00] they believe in you? Or look at the people you look up to. Somebody that could come in and just be the best husband, the best father, the best business owner, whatever it is, they could come in and whatever challenge you're facing, they would handle it.
Well, cause you believe in them. What if you believed in yourself as much as you believe in them? So you got to increase the level of belief and one of those things, getting in the word, putting those positive affirmations, and then getting around people that not only can show you the way, but they actually encourage you.
And they'll help believe in you and you can borrow their belief as you start to get out and start to do more.
Franklin: I really love that. There's a few things I want to point out that I think are important, especially for someone who might not have considered mindset before. Right. And let's just use the financial example because that's the easiest to understand.
Like you can't have a, a million dollar mindset and, but produce 10 million results, right? Well, and the reason is, okay, well, why is that? It's because your, your [00:19:00] mindset is what creates the actions like your, your actions are simply whatever is going to follow from the particular mindset. So you're not going to have a million dollar mindset and yet take 10 million actions.
You're going to have a million dollar mindset. That's going to have million dollar actions falling behind it or a thousand dollar mindset with thousand dollar actions. And so there's an alignment there. And in kind of a sequencing where if you don't get the mindset right, the actions will never follow and then you can apply that same principle to every single aspect of your life.
You may be killing it financially and have that million dollar mindset and create really great financial results. But what's your mindset around how you show up as a husband? What's your mindset around how you show up as a father or a leader in your community, uh, with, with your health and your fitness and your faith and your walk with God, like your mindset exists within each one of those areas of life that matter.
And that [00:20:00] is the root of whatever the results are that are coming from the actions you're taking every single day.
Justin: Yeah, and I think there's a big misconception when it comes to mindset. A lot of people just think it's positive thinking. Like, I can just be positive. Oh, things are going to work out. And I learned this from Tony Robbins years ago.
He's like, that's like going out to your garden that's full of weeds and just saying, there's no weeds, there's no weeds. He's like, no, you got to be real with yourself and say there's weeds in the garden. We need to pull these out and plant new flowers. That's what we have to do because you can't just go, I can't go study from Gary V and look at his company and say, I'm going to hire 100 people and try to think I can build 100 million company in the next year.
I couldn't do that because I'm not at the level I needed to be if that was my goal. So it's all about who you have to become. And that's a mindset. You can't just take the actions that somebody else does. You have to become the person you need to become in order to achieve it. So I like to tell people to do this.
Start with number one, write down what do you want? And that's the hardest [00:21:00] thing for people to do. Because when you ask them what they want, a lot of times they just say, Oh, I don't want this. I don't want that. I don't want to travel that much. I don't want to have to work these many hours. No, start with what do you want?
And a good way to do it, you can start with a list of all the things you don't want and then just write the reverse. Okay, find out what do you want in business, in your personal life, in your relationships, as a husband, as a father, your health, your fitness, all the things. What do you want? And then ask yourself, who do I need to become in order to achieve that?
And create a picture in your mind of what that ideal version of you is. is. What does that person look like? How does how much time do they spend with their spouse? How many date nights do they go on? But you're not going on a date night. Start this week, go ahead and put it on the schedule. You need to be having an intentional date night every single week.
But what are the, what are some of the actions that highest version of you is taking? And you ask yourself, who do I need to become to achieve [00:22:00] that? What does that person do? What time do they wake up? What does their morning routine look like? What is their evening routine look like? How much? Not just time with their kids, but intentional time.
It's not about the number of time. You could be spending time, but your mind could be off on business or all the things you've got to get done or the boss is calling about this. No, how much intentional time are you actually giving them where they feel your love, they feel your presence and write down all the things you need to become.
And then every single day, look at that list and act as if. Be that person. And then all of a sudden, that's going to become who you are. And then over and over and over, it's just going to be more and more of who you are. And then as you grow, everything around you grows. Relationships grow, finance, business, all the things grow when you begin to grow.
Franklin: And
Justin: you take
Franklin: that 1 percent a day kind of approach where it's, you don't, it's not like you're trying to climb the whole mountain in one fell swoop, but it's just a little shift every single day in the right direction. [00:23:00] And if you do that, consistently, then you can look up and in six months or a year or 10 years and truly change yourself into a completely different human than who you used to be.
But that doesn't happen without intentionality. If you just default into your day, then you're not going to progressively improve. You're going to progressively you know, just get worse or just stagnate. Right. Yeah.
Justin: And that's one of the principles I teach is you've got to live by intention, not by default because so many people are on default.
Just go through the motions, live my life. They look back six months later, they're the same person they were six months before six years later, same person. Or they kind of decline because they're not being intentional on progressing. But like you said, it doesn't take much of a shift. That 1 percent every day, just get 1 percent better, 1 percent better.
And the way to truly do that is being focused though. Where your focus goes, your energy flows. So to be [00:24:00] intentional, you have to have that list of, well, what am I working towards? If you're just showing up, just think, I want to be better today. Okay. Um, Well, how are you going to do that? If you actually have a list of things, well, I could be better by texting my wife and just lifting her up today.
There's things that you could do every single day, and if you're intentional, it doesn't take a lot of time to do. Just put it down on paper so it's in front of your mind. You see it every single day, and then you act as if. So you've got to live by intention, not by default. That brings up an example. So a guy that I was working with, he wanted to, his relationship with his daughter was kind of rocky.
So I was like, well, how can you be intentional with your daughter? And he was like, well, when I get home this evening, I'm actually going to put my phone away. I'm actually going to have a conversation with her. Cause it's like, we became roommates in the house. And I think she was, High school slash college age.
She was right around going to college. So he's like, I'm just going to have a conversation and there's no agenda. I'm just going to love on her and just be present. And we talked to the next day [00:25:00] and he was like, that was the best conversation I'd ever had. Just because he was an intentional and saying, I'm going to go home and be present with my daughter.
So how can you be present in this moment today? Whatever you have coming up for me, I've got a lot of interviews, zoom calls, all stuff around here, but I knew when I'm on with you, I'm present. I'm intentional. I'm here to make an impact in someone's life. I know that. So that's how I show up. So for everyone, how are you showing up?
Because the way you show up at anything is the way you show up at everything. If you're just kind of phoning it in on Zoom calls, the things that you're doing, people pick up on that. But when you're intentional, you have an intention going into it, it changes your focus, it changes your mindset, it changes your actions, it changes the results.
Franklin: Something I'll share that has been specifically around this that I've been working on lately. You've heard of the five love languages. I'm sure you've read it. And so, but they also have the five love languages for, for kids. And so it dives in and it, and it gives the, the five love [00:26:00] languages through the perspective and, and through the lens of how our kids feel loved.
Right. And so Taking that intentionality to a different level. I just got through reading that and it helped me to recognize very quickly. Wow. I see my almost 12 year old son, like. I know exactly what his love language is. And when I lean in on that and bringing even more intentionality, it's, it's, it's strategically intentional, right?
Where I know that that it's not just the time or, or just being intentional, but it's doing it in a way that he can feel loved. And then I've noticed our, our relationship elevating. And then with my daughter, same thing. And I've just. Notice that her love language is different, so I'm intentional with her in a different way, and it's allowing her to feel more loved and helping me to connect on a deeper level with her.
And so, you know, one of the best ways to be intentional with your family men is to study them and to really understand who they are and what [00:27:00] matters to them. And you do this with your wife as well, like what matters and lean in in that way. And then with that intentionality, like you. do begin to become just an awesome husband and father.
And a lot of times it's very simple for my son. Like one of his love languages is his physical touch. So when I go up and give him a hug like he does not pull away ever because that's just how it's communicated. And so it's the and that's a simplest thing. Like, I just make sure that every day I'm giving him a hug.
Just go up and put my hand on his back and those little things like that, that little thing lets him know every single day. the dad loves him. And so it doesn't have to be something monumental. You know, it can be very simple.
Justin: Yeah. And that's so important. And intentionality isn't all about what you want to get out of something.
So that's a perfect example. I think everybody, every man should read the five love languages. One to understand what your own love language is too. And you can communicate that with your [00:28:00] wife, but then to understand hers. Cause like you said, like if, if your wife's is physical touch, but you're. Every day you're showing up, maybe you're taking out the trash.
You're fixing, fixing stuff around the house. You're providing for the family. You're doing all those things and thinking, man, I'm taking care of you. But if you're not providing the physical touch, she doesn't feel loved because that's her love language. And especially for men, this isn't physical touch isn't.
Just sex, because if you're only giving her physical touch when they're sex, she's going to feel lost because she's not going to feel like, okay, you're just using me for sex versus actually like, like with your son, just putting your hand on his back, give him him a hug, holding it, holding your wife's hand as you just sit there and talk with her and be present.
That's what she needs. And if you're not delivering that, you could be doing all the other things and still be off when it comes to your relationship with your wife.
Franklin: I'm going to give men, okay, here's a nugget to take with you. If you want to connect with your wife. Put your phone down and grab her hand.
There you
Justin: go. It's that simple.
Franklin: That, that one thing, [00:29:00] right? Uh, like it could be that simple. Just set the device down and instead like take one of her hands and both of yours and just pay attention to what she has to say and ask her about how her day is going. And, and I promise you that one little thing could shift your whole day.
Justin: Mm. And going back to it's that simple. So a lot of times as men, though, we look at, okay, great. I got that. What's next? We're always like, what's next? What's next? Let me just read a bunch of books, listen to a bunch of things. Like, no, it's simple. Just do it. That's the thing. Are you going to do it? And one of the other principles I teach is when it comes to, to, to actually learning things.
Cause I consumed, I've read over 2000 books. Now I've read about a hundred books a year and business relationships, leadership, relationships. finance, everything. Like I just want to consume knowledge, but a long time ago I learned it's not about information. It's about the insights. So I tell people, listen for insights, not information.
So as you're looking, listen to this conversation that we're having, don't just listen to get a bunch of information. What are the [00:30:00] insights? If it hits you right there, that. Oh, man, I need to put my phone down and grab my wife's hand. Make a note of that and go home and do that tonight. So you want to listen for the insights and then you write them down.
So you remember them because that's the worst thing. Oh, yeah, I was listening to this great conversation with Franklin and he said something really cool and I can't remember what it was. So write it down. So you remember it, but then act on it. And then from there, I want you to actually teach it to other people because a lot of times insights don't just come to us.
They come to us to help share with the people around us. And the more we share them, the more they become ingrained in us. But just like you had an insight from reading the five love languages for kids, now you've shared it on here. Other people are going to go out and read that and it's going to impact them.
So it's a very powerful principle. Listen for insights, not information. Last thing we need is just more podcasts, books, just to feed our mind. No, we need to listen and be like, what are those insights? Those aha moments. Oh yes, that's powerful. And then you [00:31:00] act on those things because they're speaking to you for a reason.
Now you got to act on it.
Franklin: You mentioned a minute ago, morning routines, evening routines. I think we're inundated and probably have as much information available on, on different ways to set up a morning routine is, is we'll ever need. Right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But I think the more difficult thing to wrap your mind around is the evening routine and what that looks like.
And especially when we get to the end of the day, and a lot of times there's just not a whole lot of gas in the tank to do a whole nother, you know, big production right before bed. But I've heard you speak on the importance of an evening routine and there's some really specific stuff or some powerful perspectives I think that you could share and I would love to dive into.
Kind of unpack that if you would and just kind of discuss what does an evening routine look like? Why is it important? How does it set us up for the next day? Yeah,
Justin: there's so many people out there talking about morning routines, but the [00:32:00] evening routine is much more powerful because I believe a morning routine will set up your day, but it's your evening routine that sets up your life.
Why? Because whatever you put in your mind before you fall asleep, your subconscious mind processes that while you go to sleep. So, if you go to sleep stressed out, all the things that happen during the day, and you just think about how much is life's happening to you, you're going to wake up in chaos and more life is going to happen to you.
And you can try to do a great morning routine to get yourself in the right state to handle all the things for the day, but you just get stuck in that cycle. Versus, If you fall asleep and you just do that exercise we talked about before, figuring out what you want and who you need to become, but then just create a scene in your mind of being that person.
If that person, so you look at your, your, your day the next day, let's say you've got a meeting, you've got some calls. If I showed up as that person, that highest version of me, how would those calls go? What kind of success would I have in my life? What kind of relationship would I have with my wife and with my kids if I showed up like [00:33:00] that?
And you start creating the scene of your mind as if it's already happened. You're already living that out. You've already signed the deal. You've already bought the dream home, whatever it is. You create a scene in your mind, and this could be as little as two minutes as you're falling asleep. And the cool thing is, like, the morning and the evening are the best times to meditate and visualize because you get to take advantage of the brainwaves.
So during the day, we're in these high beta brainwaves. Just go, go, go, try to figure it out. So when we first wake up, we're coming out of delta brainwaves into theta, into alpha, into beta. So that's where our brainwaves are going. So when you first wake up and you're in that really groggy state, that's when you're going from theta and then moving into alpha.
So if you do some meditation of visualization in that, you can actually reprogram your subconscious mind. But it's even more powerful as you fall asleep. So you're coming down from beta. Alpha into theta, and you get that rule of groggy. You're about to fall asleep if you're visualizing right there.
You're [00:34:00] setting up your future. You're telling your mind who you want to become. If you start doing gratitude, if you start being thankful as it's already happened. I've already got this amazing relationship with my wife. We're traveling. We're doing the things that we love to do, and you just feel the feeling of gratitude.
And I think that's one of the biggest missing pieces that people do with gratitude or even with affirmations is the feeling. A lot of people have in their morning routine a gratitude list. Some people do a gratitude journal and it just becomes something they check off. Just let me write down the things I'm grateful for versus no, why am I grateful for my kids?
Why am I grateful for my wife and then feel this feeling of overwhelming gratitude that changes everything. But if you do that right before you fall asleep and you just think about it, it could be something that's coming up. I did this for my TEDx journey. So I went from TEDx was on my bucket list. One day I want to do it to you know what?
I'm going to be a TEDx speaker. I created this visualization in my mind before I fell asleep. It's about two [00:35:00] minutes where I saw myself standing on that red circle. Feeling the heat of the lights, hearing the sound of the buzz of the microphone, looking out and seeing people nodding with me as I'm speaking.
And I felt it. I became a TEDx speaker in my mind before I did, stepped on that stage. But I lived my day as if it was already happened. I'm already a TEDx speaker. I rehearsed it in my mind over and over and over. And now, not only done one, I've done two TEDx talks. And that's the power of the mind. And there's a couple of studies I really love.
One, they took basketball players and they told them to shoot free throws. One group shoot free throws every single day for 30 days. Second group, you're not going to touch a basketball for 30 days. The third group, you're not going to touch a basketball, but you're going to vividly imagine shooting a basketball every single day.
So in your mind, you're going to feel what it feels like to shoot a free throw. You're going to visually see it going through the air. Here at [00:36:00] going through the net and over and over, you're gonna feel how what it feels like to make free throws and they did that for 30 days at the end of the study. The first group that shot free throws every single day got 24 percent better.
People that didn't touch a basketball didn't get any better. But that third group that didn't touch a basketball but vividly imagined it every single day got 23 percent better just by vividly imagining it. That's the power of your mind. You can learn a skill. You want to be a better speaker? That was one of my things.
The last TED Talk I just did, I talked about how I overcame my fear of public speaking. Well, one of the things that I didn't get to share on, on that talk was how I did my visualization to overcome the fear. I saw myself as a powerful speaker, being able to influence people and make an impact. So I did that.
I rehearsed in my mind over and over, and then I became it. And the other study I love is they took people that couldn't play piano and they taught them one handed piano exercises. So one group. play these exercises. [00:37:00] The next group, you're not going to touch a piano, but you're going to do the exercises vividly imagined over and over.
So not imagine like you're watching a movie screen and seeing yourself play, but no, you feel what it feels like to actually touch the keys. You feel, you hear the sound in your mind as you're playing. So with those two groups, they got the same level of proficiency. The people that, that played every single day or the ones vividly imagined.
And the cool thing about that study, they did functional MRIs of their brain and the exact same patterns in the brain were firing the people physically playing and the group that was just imagining it. So that's the power of using vivid imagination to create your life. And as you go to bed, you want to know what kind of life you want to create.
And then you start to create a scene that's vividly imagined of what you are becoming. And then you watch what happens. You'll start to. People will come into your life. You'll get calls from, or you'll get those insights. That thought flash says, Hey, you need to call this person. And I hear it all the time.
When people will call me, I'm like, Hey, you [00:38:00] won't believe this. This happened. And I've heard this so many times now. I was like, yes, I will believe it because it's not a coincidence. It's an, and we can go deeper some other time, but it's about priming the reticular activating system in your mind to see the opportunities around you.
Franklin: It's that example. If you, if you went out and bought a white car today, you know, a white Chevy truck, well, then all of a sudden you'd see white Chevy trucks. Driving around everywhere. And that's same everywhere. That's the mechanism that's at at play in that.
Justin: Yeah. Yeah. It's the filter that, that filters out everything.
'cause those same white trucks would be driving by the day before you thought about it. But then as soon as you think, Hey, I'm gonna buy this truck, you see 'em everywhere. It happened to me a few years ago. I've had Jeep Wranglers for years and then I, I got rid of one and I was like, man, I want another Jeep.
And as soon as I did, like the next day I was driving and I saw 11 Jeeps that I passed. Mm-Hmm. . And every day I was passing Jeeps, but it wasn't consciously programmed in my reticular activating system to see those Jeeps. And so speaking of that, I do actually have a free resource, my baseball [00:39:00] technique, which teaches you how to program your reticular activating system.
And you can use it before you go to bed to prime your reticular activating system. And you can, once you learn the technique, you can use it for anything. You can do it for better relationships. You can do it for finances to, to close deals, to get Ted talks, which is what I used it for. But on mindshiftlinks.
com, there's free resources there. So if you click on the baseball technique, you can get that sent to you. And man, if you do that, learn the technique and then you can start applying it to anything. But that's what I do. Um, uh,
Franklin: That's uh, thank you for sharing that. We'll make sure and include that in the, uh, show notes.
I think you mentioned it. It just blows my mind. That the way our brain works, uh, it can't tell the difference between what is happening in reality and what is happening just in our mind. Right? Yeah. And so, like, I don't know. I just had to say that because it's just, it's fascinating and it's just amazing the way God created our [00:40:00] brains in that way.
Justin: Right. Because it's all just our nervous system. It's just our nervous system reacting. And we've all experienced it. Because if anybody, if you've ever watched a scary movie, you felt what it feels like to not be in a room with some killer that's trying to get me, but you felt it. You felt with that person that you're like, don't open that door.
Somebody's over there, whatever. Or you've experienced extreme joy and happiness from watching somebody else in a movie because you're, you're vividly in it, you're feeling what it feels like. So if you can use that to your advantage and actually with intention, say, this is the life I want to create, and this is how that life would feel.
And this is how I would show up. This is how I would act. So, I mean, I'm a perfect example. The TED talk, I just shared how I overcame my fear of public speaking. I spent most of my life terrified to speak in public, and I had stories anchored in that it wasn't for me, all going all the way back to second grade and then getting into college and almost failing a speech class because I had a panic attack during a speech.[00:41:00]
So in my heart, I felt like, man, I have something to share. I want to, but I had anchored into my mind. It's not for me. I can't do it. I leave those for the extroverted people. They could just speak on anything. So I, where most people would do, they would just believe the story for the rest of their life.
They would just go on and they would never speak. They would never do the things they're called to do. But for me, I shifted it. I created a vision in my mind of what it would be like to be a confident speaker, and I would visualize myself on stages, visualize myself making an impact. I would affirm I'm a strong, powerful, confident speaker.
When I speak, people listen. When I lead, people follow. And I would say that with emotion, and it would feel good, but then I would start to believe it. And here's the key. I didn't believe it at first. I still was like, I'm just going to do it. The more I did it, that seed of belief started getting planted in my mind.
And that's all it takes. You start to plant the seed and then you feed it and then you water it and watch that plant grow. And now I went from, I could have believed the story. I [00:42:00] could never speak in public to now doing over 1500 presentations all over the world. So you can change. You don't have to be stuck and settle for whatever's going on.
Any skill can be learned. Any relationship can be better if you're intentional and figure out what do you want to do and who do you need to become.
Franklin: It's really interesting because there, I've had an experience that falls right in line with this. So I did a, this thing called seal fit Kokoro camp a few years ago and uh, it's like a 50 hour long kind of bootcamp deal put on a, put on by a guy named Mark Devine.
And, um, I remember as part of my training, I would visualize myself just in the most uncomfortable, beat down, exhausted, you know, drained moments, right? And that was the visualization and the, and the mind training was a big part of the physical training that I was also doing for it. But what was really interesting is I had these moments during that event where I literally thought to myself, I feel [00:43:00] like I've already been here before.
And I believe that that was that connection with that, that mental training that I was doing of visualizing. And then in that, and the real thing was there in it, and it didn't feel like new territory necessarily. It felt like something I had already done before. Absolutely.
Justin: A perfect example. I said that I had this visualization of my TED talk.
Well, then the first time I got on the stage, people were asking me, well, were you nervous? And no, I wasn't because I had done it so many times in my mind, it felt like I'd already done it. But what's cool is I was in the moment and I was looking out speaking and I was nodding and people were nodding their head just like they had done in my visualization.
So it was like it just became real what I had imagined before. And especially when it comes to training like that, people talk about the SEAL training isn't about the person that's the fittest and they can handle the most physically. It's always the mental. the mental edge, who can handle it mentally, will survive.
Yeah, you got to have a certain level of physicality to you, but we see it in [00:44:00] different sports. You see it all across the board. The most physical people and the most talented people don't necessarily make it over the most mentally fit people. The people that can handle it in their mind can do so much more.
Franklin: Let me ask a question. So You do the mind training. Let's take the example of your TED talk. So you do the mental training, then you get up there and you're not nervous because you've done it in your mind so many times. But once you take the, the real experience and marry that up to all the mental training you've done, and obviously there was other like, train, like you rehearse the speech and all that stuff, but once you have the actual experience, does that either anchor in or accelerate the growth and the learning even more?
Because now you're, you're combining the real experience to all the mental training.
Justin: Yeah, it definitely anchors in and it gives you that confidence because confidence is earned as you go along. And so perfect example. So a mentor of mine, he said the best, his mentor told him, he's like, the best way to become a speaker.
is 1, [00:45:00] 000 speeches, because if you get out there and you just practice and you get better and each time it's another rep, it's another rep, you'll get better. So I took that same concept and applied it because it's hard to get out and get and find a thousand gigs. But I could do a thousand gigs in my mind, right?
And I could do that in a short period of time. So I accelerated that. I've probably done over 10, 000 in my mind at this point, but by getting myself the middle reps, it was the same principle as it was getting on stage. But I was feeling it. It can't just be, just go through the motions. You've got to actually vividly imagine.
you've got to feel it as though it's real. And then when you get the opportunity, yes, you learn from it, you tweak it, but then you anchor that in and say, you know what? I can do this. I made it. That was successful. What else can I do? And you just start stacking those wins. And each time you do have one, you anchor that into your nervous system.
See, you can do it. See, you are, you are able to do this. And then back to your point earlier of just everybody's got to realize mindset is [00:46:00] everything because one of the things that I do now, so going from somebody who thought they could never speak in public is now I do speaker training, so I help speakers become better and then a lot of times it's business owners had a leverage public speaking to grow their business.
Well, it starts with the mindset. Because speaking is a mindset, you've got to have the mindset, then you develop the skill set and the strategy. But if you don't, you can learn all the skills and the strategy, but if you don't get the mindset piece, right, it's not going to work for you. So it's the same in business, relationships, speaking, anything, mindset is everything.
To circle back a
Franklin: little bit, and one thing I want to make sure that we don't miss in And here you speak to, so we're thinking of this in terms of ourselves, our own mindset for my audience of, of men who are, you know, husbands and fathers, your children and your wife have got this mindset game going on, especially that, that end of day, you know, before you go to sleep, they've got that all, all that same thing going on [00:47:00] too.
So it struck me that not only can we cultivate a positive mindset for ourselves, At the end of the day, but then we also have the opportunity to look at how we're kind of closing off each day in our homes. And what are we, how are we setting our children up to fall asleep with a good mindset and with positive influence or positive deposits, if you will, before they drift off?
And what does that look like if we can be intentional in that way with our kids over time? Thank you.
Justin: Absolutely. And I wish more parents would do that sooner, because that's where, I mean, somebody, their beliefs are going to be formed somehow. And a lot of times the old adage was it's parents, teachers, and preachers, because the people that are around that are feeding their mind.
But now it's social media. Friends at school, all those people are pouring into them. You need to be speaking louder than those people in their lives. And one of the best ways is just showing by example, [00:48:00] how you show up. So as you were talking, I was thinking about let, you could have the perfect evening routine.
You could wake up in the morning, do a great morning routine and go out and crush it all day and give it everything you have. But then you come home, and your tank is empty, and you barely pay attention to your kids, you barely pay attention to your wife, you watch some Netflix and go to bed, whatever, like, you're not being present with them.
You could have had an amazing day all day and crushed it and financially be killing it, but you're showing your kids, man, dad's checked out, he's not here, he doesn't have the right mindset because he doesn't get to see that side of you. So, yeah, when you come home, you got to shift, you got to make a shift.
If you got to take a minute, sit in your car, you could be exhausted and be like, you know what? But I'm going to come in as soon as I open this door, I'm going to be the best version of me. Because they're picking up on what they're seeing. Your wife, it's not about what you're saying to her. You could be like, yeah, I love you, babe, whatever.
But if you're not emotionally there, she feels that. I mean, it comes across in anything. If you're in sales, I mean, everybody's in sales, but if you're actually making [00:49:00] a sales call, you could be saying the right words, but it's less about what you're saying and more about who you're being, and that's the same thing.
When you get home at night, it's more about what you're being with your kids, what you're being with your wife. So it starts with your own mindset is a reflection of you, but then they're going to pick up that, especially the kids. The younger they are, the more That more easily their impression and their subconscious mind.
So they're going to pick up how you're being and acting. But then also what you're saying, you started firming them. You start showing you believe in them. They'll start believing in themselves. You start making your wife feel loved, man, that will change everything in your relationship. So you just show up one with your mindset and then being an example for them.
And I do get this asked a lot, too, is like, what about the spouse? What if, like, the husband's working on themselves? Like, should I get my wife to do personal development? And one of the worst things is try to force personal development on someone else. So, the best thing that you can just do is just show that you're becoming a better person.
And just have open conversations of what you're working on and how you're wanting to [00:50:00] grow. And ask your, your wife, like, how would you like to see me to grow? That's one of the best things you can do is ask the wife what she needs. Goes back to that, um, the conversation of the five love languages. If you don't know what our love language is, you can't meet that.
But what if she's like, no, I just, I wish we could go on a more date nights. It could be little things like that. That if she, you, you knew that, then, okay, you know what, I'm going to become the husband that takes my wife on date nights, that shows up for my kids, that does all the right things. So just show the people around you that you're working on yourself to become better and by default, they want to become better.
Franklin: And when you ask that question, and this is, you know, for, for men, cause I think we fall into this trap easily. One, number one, do not get defensive with whatever her response is. That's right. And then if you don't, I mean, you know, assuming it's in your power and I mean, if it's something as simple as date night, if you ask the question and she tells you, but you don't follow through on actually taking her on more date nights, if that's what it is she is asking for, [00:51:00] Like, then you inadvertently communicate to her, I'm not listening or I don't care.
Right, yeah. Right, so you, you have to really, if you're going to ask that question, have an approach of humility so that you can actually hear what she has to say and just receive it, hold space for it, and then make sure you follow that up with, Actual action and
Justin: do
Franklin: it.
Justin: Yeah, because that's the worst thing you can do is make her feel like what she wants is not important.
So if you don't act on it, even if you think well, I scheduled a date night for next month Well one just tell her like hey, i've got something on the books like we're gonna on this day. We're gonna go out We're gonna do whatever I would recommend weekly Like whatever you got to do, even if it's, I can't find a babysitter, whatever.
Okay. We're going to have a movie night in the home, but we're gonna have intentional time together. Just show her you are being intentional because like you said, if she tells you what she wants and maybe you're like, okay, I'm trying to figure out how to fit in my schedule. If she doesn't know you're trying to make intentional time for her, she's going to feel like you didn't listen, or it's just [00:52:00] not important to you.
Franklin: I was asked the other day by a young man who just got married. He said, I've been married 18 years. And he said, what's your What's your number one bit of, uh, marriage advice? And I said, go on date night. Don't stop dating. Yup. And for men, if you, if you're a business owner or a business leader or career, like if, if we, if we can put 50, 60 or more hours into our business a week, surely we can find one or two to go spend with our wife, right.
And connect and shut the world away and invest in them. And. And that will pay dividends that will, that the business world will never compare to, you know?
Justin: Absolutely. And men, listen up. If you're not paying attention to your wife, someone else will. And that's the biggest thing that tears relationships apart is the wife's not being paid attention to, or the spouse.
It works both ways. One spouse, they're not getting that intentional time and just someone, and it could be a friend, it could be a coworker, just the people that are around, just start talking to them. [00:53:00] And they're not like trying to hit on him or trying to date, but they feel this connection. And that connection just starts to grow and grow.
And you're like, you know what? I don't, I no longer have this relationship with my husband. I have more relationship with this coworker. And then it goes too far. So to, in order to stop that, you've got to pay attention to your spouse because if you don't, someone else will.
Franklin: Another way to think through that, we talked about love languages, but we also can look at it as a love tank, right?
And you're the number one person responsible for filling up your children's love tank, and you're the number one person responsible for filling up your wife's love tank. So, if they're running on empty, they will search for that and they will fill their tank up somewhere. Your daughter will go seek that out from other boys.
Your son will go and get into, who knows, What trouble your wife to your point, not that she'll go looking for it if she's on empty, right? Yeah. Needs to be filled all of a sudden that that compliment feels pretty good. And why doesn't my husband do that? So, yeah, that's, I mean, [00:54:00] that's a reminder to all of us that like we have to fill their love tanks intentionally every single day.
Justin: Yeah. And I'm glad you brought that up too, because it's not just the people that the relationships on the rocks and I need to do something to pay attention to my wife. It's no, it's things are going great, but we've going through the motions now and I no longer texting her or giving her the compliments or doing the things that she does need.
So everybody just analyze your relationship and just say, how can I pay more attention to them and be intentional to fill up their love tank?
Franklin: Yeah. It is taking responsibility. Like, As men, like if, if it feels like you're, you've got a roommate relationship instead of like a, a passionate connected marriage, well, number one, that's on you or you at least got to take responsibility for it.
And then it's those simple daily actions that just starting to fill up that love tank. And it's not rocket science. It's not having to go and, and do some, you know, superhuman feat. You know, it's just the simple daily [00:55:00] things and done consistently over time literally can transform your marriage, can transform your relationship with your kids.
And either, either course correct it potentially if it has gone south or make it even better if you do have a great relationship. No matter how good it is, it can always improve. Absolutely, man.
Justin: So it goes back to that one percent better. But it's got to be intentional on how we're going to get it better.
Franklin: Justin, this has been, uh, just a super powerful conversation. We hit on so many things and, and I could not just be more grateful for your time today and your insight and wisdom. Please, for the, for men listening to this, if they wanted to connect or find you or figure more out the, of what you're talking about, where would they do that?
Justin: Yeah. Connect with me on Instagram. At Dr. Justin Mosley and then doctors just Dr. Justin Mosley's M O S E L E Y. So add Dr. Justin Mosley everywhere. And then, um, but yeah, if something we said resonated, shoot me a DM on Instagram. I'd love to [00:56:00] hear about it. I'd love to hear what resonated there. But what I'd really love is for you to go watch my TED talk.
Because I do feel like it was a passion project for me. Something I think I mean, I've already got, it's only been on YouTube for two weeks and I'm having a great response, people commenting on it, messaging me. So I would love for you to go watch that on YouTube. You can just look up Justin Mosley, Ted talk, or you can go to mindshiftlinks.
com and there is a link there that can watch both of my Ted talks as well as other free resources and stuff that are there too.
Franklin: Perfect. We'll be sure to include all of that in the, uh, in the show notes. Awesome. All right. Well, again, thank you very much. This is a great conversation. And, uh, I know that for a fact, it'll serve some men very well.
So thank you very much, sir.
Justin: Yeah. Thanks for having me, man. It's a lot of fun.
Franklin: Appreciate it.
If you enjoyed today's episode, Please subscribe to the podcast, give us a rating and review and share this episode with one man. You know, needs to hear this message. [00:57:00] We want to encourage as many men as possible to show up as the strong leaders, loving husbands and intentional fathers, their family deserves.
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