Franklin: [00:00:00] Right now, the world needs great men who will stand up and lead with honor, serve with purpose and courageously fulfill their God given roles as husbands, fathers, leaders, and men. I'm your host, Franklin Swan, bringing you practical tools and powerful conversations you can use every day to build yourself into the man God is calling you to be.
This is the world needs men. Let's go.
Welcome back to the world needs men podcast. I'm your host, Franklin Swan. I'm excited to welcome my guest on to the show today, Mike Woodall. He's a husband and father of three boys. He's a, uh, Georgia native and, uh, I think, uh, from Forsyth County. He's a fireman, a career fireman, and, uh, has got a little, uh, [00:01:00] Instagram page called Project Dad Life where he shows, uh, shows some pretty inspiring videos on how to do ranch and farm work and also How to be an awesome dad and father and how to teach boys, how to work, get out and get their hands dirty.
So Mike, man, welcome to the show. I'm really excited to have a conversation today and see, uh, see where it goes.
Mike: Yeah, frankly, I appreciate, you know, hosting
Franklin: and, uh, definitely forward to it as well. Okay, man. Well, hey, let's start off. Just tell us a little bit about your backstory and where you grew up and a little bit of childhood and just kind of carry us through to today.
Mike: Yeah. Um, so born and raised here in North Georgia. Um, I'm a career fireman now. That's what I do. It's my passion. It's my career. I've been at it for about 14 years now. I love it. I'm happily married. We're a blended family. We got three boys, ages 5, 12, and just turned 15, so got one driving. Yeah, all the normal stuff.
Love to hang out around our farm and [00:02:00] our house. Definitely more of the, um, kind of homestead style we aspire to be. You know, we're not perfect. We dabble in pretty much everything or I dabble in everything, but yeah, my passions are definitely to, you know, serve as a, as a fireman, serve, uh, serve the Lord, serve my children, wife and kids.
So yeah, trying to be better every day, all those. How'd you get into, uh, working in the fire department? Um, it was actually something I wanted to do not long after high school. So I went to go apply to do that. I always thought it was just awesome, you know, great job. But at the time I didn't know there was an age requirement.
You had to be 21. So I was like 18. So I was like, well, all right, plan B, let's go see if we can find something else to do. So I had a couple full time jobs, just normal, uh, warehouse. you know, management, some landscape stuff, just kind of odds and ends. And then I decided to be a mechanic. I wanted to be a motorcycle mechanic.
That's kind of my, my [00:03:00] passion, my base of everything I do is like, based on just working with my hands, you know, since I was born, that's what I've always done. It's like my. You know, therapy to slow the mind down per se. So I've always been in that realm of, of work in one way or the other. So I went to mechanic school in Florida for a year, did that, worked in the industry on Harley's building, custom bikes, mechanicing for about five years.
And then my wife and I, my first wife got, we got pregnant with our first child. So I was like, Hey, you know, it's time to tell them to kind of grow up a little bit, I need something with some insurance benefits for the kids and the wife, you know, so it was. I think I was 24 at the time, and then I just kind of.
light bulb. I was like, Oh yeah, let's go back to the fire department. I'm old enough now. So I did that, went down that road and it turned out great. Like I love every, you know, every second of going to work. It's been great. And it's also, you know, it's been a good path for my kids. I'm not sure if they'll follow, but you know, that is an option that [00:04:00] I kind of, you know, had that in mind when I started that career, like, you know, somewhere they can follow and have a good, solid career and, you know, serve, serve people and, and do all that stuff and have a good brotherhood.
So now, you know, fast forward 15 years later, happy doing it. And it's kind of like, sometimes I feel kind of bad about it. Cause it's sometimes it's like, I don't go to work, you know, I just, I go, go in and hang out my, with my good friends, my family, my brothers, and we just serve our community for a day and, you know, work with our hands all day.
work on trucks, fight fire, like, I mean, it's, it's,
Franklin: it's awesome. It's a really good career. What is a, and I'm sure there's not like necessarily a typical day, knowing how many different things y'all can probably get called to, uh, to show up for, but, but what does a day look like for a fireman when you're going in and, and what does a typical day look like?
Mike: Normally we go in, it's, it's kind of like anytime someone calls 9 1 1, a fire truck shows up. Now we're not the [00:05:00] ambulance service. We, in our county, it's a private ambulance service. So one fire truck and one ambulance show up when you dial 9 1 1. So we're on the fire truck and we're, we kind of just do, to do it all.
Whether it's a stubbed toe, we need to help, you know, bandage it up that's bleeding and get into the hospital or the house is on fire. We, you know, take care of all that. So when we show up to work, you know, we have to be, you know, rested and ready to go. But our base day involves a lot of training. You know, we show up, we clean the station, we check off our equipment, make sure we're ready to go.
you know, if and when that, you know, call does come in that we have to be out all day working on something. So that's kind of our frontline. What we do just waiting for an emergency to happen. Um, we hope they don't, but when they do, we're ready to go ready to jump in the meantime. Yeah. Just training lots of hours of training, uh, physical fitness, you know, we work out all the time, you know, run running around the station, washing the rigs.
Uh, you know, in the evenings we slow, you know, [00:06:00] slow down a little bit. We watch movies together, cook dinner together, play cards. It's pretty much just like a, like a family. It's where I live a third of my life. So I work every third day for 24 hours and then I have 48 hours off. So, yeah, it's become, it's pretty much, pretty much a family.
I
Franklin: definitely, uh, enjoy it. What does the brotherhood aspect of that look like? You know, there's probably not a lot of, uh, work environments that men are able to go to these days or, or be a part of where they have that bond, you know, I mean, outside of military and then you've got the firehouse, but you know, that's gotta be something pretty special that is a benefit that, uh, that just most men don't necessarily have day to day.
Mike: It is for sure. You know, most, almost all fire departments are military based, um, how they do their training and everything else. So when, when we show up, it's like. There really is a bond there. And especially if you went through rookie school, you know, pretty much boot camp with a lot of the guys that you work with, you know, it's about six months long.
So when I [00:07:00] went through rookie school, it was, I came out with 13 guys, I believe. And one of them I'm actually working with currently. And it's like, I mean, we've shared blood, sweat, and tears, like, and we've come to, you know, points in our life, whether it be, you know, in the fire department or, you know, home life where we've, you know, hit a cliff or hit a, hit a wall, we just.
There's really no one else to reach out to, and we've openly had conversations about those issues. We've fixed it. You know, when you work with guys that you look up to that are more heavily in their faith, you know, people who you aspire to be, it's easy to like mirror up with those guys and like go down a better path or kind of straighten your path up a little more.
If you're having a rough time or you're a little You know, a little strung out per se in your faith or even your marriage or, you know, being a father, it's, it's nice to have that, those other guys there that you can always, you know, blend with or bounce ideas off of, or, you know, open up to and get guidance and, and, you know, keep that going.
straight path going. [00:08:00] So that's a
Franklin: huge plus to it. Do you feel like the firehouse gives you kind of a, an environment where there's just a, a different standard and, and level of expectation that is expected?
Mike: There is, it's definitely, you know, you, everybody's different who you work with and, you know, you can make or break, you know, your career and like how passionate you are about it.
And there are times like it, you know, it's rough. Like you do have the bad calls where you're, you know, it's the next day or the next months or years, and you think about that same face or that same call you, you have to deal with. But so a lot of times it's sometimes you can go down that slippery slope again, stuck in that kind of mentality.
You know, environment, but it's definitely the more you put in, the more you get out of it. So a lot of the guys I work with and enjoy working with her, you know, some of the best guys in the field. And, and it's always nice to be with, you know, the more proactive guys, cause you can end up at a station with, you know, [00:09:00] they've been there for a long time, or they're just kind of.
a little bit, you know, sitting in the chairs a little more than you'd like. And it is honestly easy to fall down that slope sometimes when you are with a crew like that, but being with a crew like that, it's also easy to be the guy to help spin them out of that funk also. So it's kind of like a double edged sword and the path you can choose to take in the, in the, in this careers is very diverse and there's many different options how you can take it and build yourself
Franklin: up.
So when you have a hard day. What do you do in order to either process or decompress or just kind of, you know, work through that difficult day and not take it home?
Mike: Man, that's When we get off work, we go straight home. So it's definitely difficult not to take it home. But for me, and this is kind of how I've dealt with stuff.
My whole life is just building projects using my hands. So when I come home, we're, [00:10:00] you know, we have a farm, we have animals, so we have to feed and take care of that horses, cows, chickens, and, uh, you know, I recently got done building a barn. On our property. And if, yeah, for me, when I, when I battle stuff like that mentally, it's, I kind of just probably not the best way to handle it, but sometimes I'll just flip a switch and just go in, you know, cruise control mode, a little bit quiet and I'll just build something, work on a project that I have going on and, you know, just think through those thoughts, trying to clear them out.
Yeah. If I have a, if I have some issues that. A really difficult or I kind of stuck with, I'll talk to my wife about it a little bit, but you know, I tried, I try not to, you know, bring that stuff inside the house a lot because, you know, it's just, it's hard to understand, especially for kids and the, and the wife, you know, try to keep them on the, on the mellow side of it.
So, but I think as a husband and father, I think that's something that [00:11:00] we all. shield, you know, so it's definitely common in the fire department for sure.
Franklin: Yeah, I mean, yeah, we were talking right before the show and I've had a, uh, one of my coaches was a former fireman and he's shared some of the stuff that he's seen and dealt with and You know, whether you're in the fire department or running a business or, or just have a nine to five job, you know, as a, as a husband, father and provider, I think it can be really easy to have those days that just are.
just weigh on you big time, right? And then I think it's important for men to have some sort of productive outlet, whether you're building a barn and, and taking care of the animals on your farm to going for a run or a walk or having a workout, or even just giving a buddy a call and just saying, man, I need to, uh, I just need to talk for a minute and talk through some stuff so that So that you can go home and, and be the husband and father your family needs and wants you to [00:12:00] show up as and not come and just unload, you know, all that pressure from the day and all the stress on them.
You know, I think that's something that a lot of men I know I've struggled with in the past and, and it's just. It's good to hear, you know, you've got something you can go do and more men probably need something versus just walking straight in the door and just unloading right off the bat
Mike: for sure. And you know, that's something I've battled in the past as well.
Cause you know, when I first started the career, it's like, You almost think that is your outlet. And, you know, honestly, you know, I got a huge reminder of not to do that from your Instagram and watching your videos, how you kind of portray that, you know, being, being the husband that your wife and kids need you to be and not being that, You know, a person who busts in the door and says, here's my junk.
You, you guys hold on to this cause I can't handle it. So, you know, hearing that is definitely, definitely helps with [00:13:00] that situation. And, you know, it's like, yeah, I mean, that it's very true. Like a lot of times you need a different outlet or another outlet and not use your family as that outlet.
Franklin: And what, you know, I think the.
Until you learn that, right, or until you hear that, what can be really easy is to just shove it down and just, just suppress that and just kind of bottle it all up. And that can be such a destructive thing because we can only do that for so long, right? The pressure builds over time and eventually it comes out some way.
And if we don't, if we don't get it out in a productive way, then it'll come out in a destructive way. And a lot of times our wife and kids are the ones who bear the brunt of that, you know, unhealthy way of that coming out, whether that's snapping or being just irritable and unpleasant to be around all the way to, you know, however far you want to take it.
But I think it's just really a good reminder for men that we all need the, you know, [00:14:00] other men we can talk to. And then we also need. Productive outlets for those days when we have just something really hard coming on that, that we need to, uh, to deal with and process and not just suppress it and shove it down and also not sedated away, not just go home and start drinking beer or trying to do something to numb it out.
Mike: Absolutely. I totally agree. One of those other outlets I've recently came across to do that is cold plunging a little over a year, a year ago, I started doing that. And in the mornings, especially after work, if we've had a rough shift, that has been a game changer. I mean, there's a numerous reasons for, you know, health benefits that the cold plunging does and does well, personally, for me, the only benefit that I need is just for a mental cleanse.
Like it's, you literally drop in, reset and you get that adrenaline or that endorphin dump, and then you can spin your date and in a different direction that it wasn't. originally going to go. [00:15:00]
Franklin: I'd love to talk about this because I've got a cold plunge too at my house. And I actually had someone on my team earlier asking, I used to do the new calm.
I don't know if you've ever heard of that, but put on headphones and yeah, it kind of takes your brainwaves down. It's supposed to, it's supposed to relax you and all this stuff and tap into your nervous system. And she said, Hey, do you still do that? I said, no, I cold plunge every day. And I just don't need to do those other things anymore.
And, uh, You know, there's, like I said, there's all these kind of health benefits, but then you've also just got, there's so much anecdotal stuff, and I know just for me personally, when I'm cold plunging, it, it is the biggest stress release that I can think of outside of just going and running, you know, for me, and it also, for me, is a huge, creates a huge decrease in anxiety.
Which I've struggled with big time. I'm curious, like what is your cold plunge set up?
Mike: I have actually a stock tank, you know, just from tractor supply. It's a hundred gallon, just poly plastic stock tank. Man, I have a deep freezer [00:16:00] vertical one. This is at my house and I keep it outside. So I fill it up with well water.
So it's pretty cold. And then I make these actually. It took me a long time to figure this out, but I've bought about a dozen bread loaf baking pans, but they have the silicone bread loaf baking pans. So I keep those in my deep freezer and I fill them up, fill them with water. They freeze and then you get this, you know, big loaf size ice cube.
Franklin: Yeah.
Mike: So I use that and, uh, you know, it gets it down to about 38 to 40 degrees. Okay. Luckily at the station, when I started this a year ago, I bought a cold plunge for our station. And when I first started at the fire station, I was like the only guy who was doing it. And then, uh, within a couple of months, it's pretty cool.
I almost have the whole entire station route there, you know, in our swim trunks and everybody's cold plunging. So. Um, there we have a huge commercial ice maker that we can use and just fill up the ice. So it's easier there. So, yeah, and then, you know, at home every couple of days, I'll drain it and fill it up with cold water.[00:17:00]
Franklin: Yeah, it's definitely, I've got to think at the, at the firehouse, if y'all are out all on us out all day, just especially during the summer on a, a hard job, there could be, you know, nothing better than coming back and just getting in that thing for a few minutes.
Mike: Oh, it's nice. It's nice. It's funny how everybody, you know, even myself, when we started doing it, it's just something that you almost become addicted to.
It's like the best, you know, I can tell everybody who asked me, it's, it's the best cup of coffee you'll ever drink in the morning.
Franklin: Yeah.
Mike: Like without a doubt.
Franklin: That's awesome. Yeah. I took a, uh, a chest freezer about a year ago and just did the, the homemade version and, you know, sealed the edges and filled it up.
And I got a, uh, little deal that circulates the water around and it stays about 36 degrees and I get in for two or three minutes every morning. And you know, everything else in my day is a lot easier after that.
Mike: For sure. That's definitely good set up. I've been meaning that I've been wanting to try that set up for sure.
Do your kids jump in it? My oldest, [00:18:00] actually, I mean, most of them do get in it. My youngest, he'll like kind of just put his knees in there and sit on top of me when I'm in it. But my oldest, uh, he'll get in all the way. He started doing it with me when we first started. And we were out there in the wintertime, like breaking ice on top of this thing.
And me and him were getting in there. So it was a cool little bonding experience. So my middle son does it as well. How old are they? Uh, my youngest is five. My middle is 12 and the oldest is 15.
Franklin: Okay.
Mike: It's pretty cool. I came home the other day from work and my wife, Marilla, she told me, she was like, why I filled up the cold plunge out there.
I was like, really? And she was like, yeah, I was out there in the garden and he ran 20 laps around the garden. And this is by himself, like on his own, own will ran 20 laps around the garden, filled up the cold plunge and cold plunge after his run by himself. So I was like, I was like, yeah, man, that's cool.
Franklin: If he keeps that going, he'll, he'll be on the right track. That's awesome.
Mike: Yeah. It's always cool to like, you know, as a father, like seeing stuff that actually rubs off. [00:19:00] You know, positive stuff that rubs off on your kids and seeing it firsthand. You're like,
Franklin: yeah, that's cool. Yeah, I've, I'm still trying to get my kids to get in the, they'll kind of dip their toe in for a second and then they jump out pretty quick, but I'll get them there at some point.
Yeah, it took a little
Mike: bit for them to get in.
Franklin: So talk a little bit about, you know, you mentioned your sons and. I'd love to kind of hear, you know, you've got your, your, uh, your Instagram project dad life and kind of what, how did that start and kind of what's your whole approach to, to fatherhood and, and how you're raising your boys.
Mike: Yeah. So when we first, our first farm, this is our, we moved a few times, just kind of doing live in renovations, building up our equity. So when we were, uh, my boys were younger, Even when my first son was a baby, I had chickens in my backyard. You know, I didn't have a lot of property then, but, um, I had chickens and, you know, I had a pig that we, that we raised for meat.
And this was 15 years ago. So people were like, they thought I [00:20:00] was crazy, man, 15 years ago, having chickens in your backyard, like, you know, they thought I was like walking around with like a tinfoil hat on. And I mean, I was, it was, it was a wild thing to do. So we've always had chickens and my boys were kind of raised that way.
They've always had the eggs and, you know, just a backstory when I was a kid. I've always loved animals. Like that was my, one of the favorite things I've ever done was go to someone's farm or if anybody had animals, you know, it was like, I just love the smell. Like being there, I love the smell of animals in a barn, especially horses.
I've just always been attached to that. So as I got older and had kids, um, we didn't have a lot of animals growing up. We had your normal dogs and stuff, but we never had chickens or goats or any, any farm animals. So it was always when I had kids, I'm like, I want them to experience. That life, because it was just something that I enjoyed when I was younger.
So that was kind of the instinct and the reason why I wanted to provide that just because I loved it as a child. So as they [00:21:00] started getting older, we started building projects and together they started building projects with me. So that's when I started the social media, started a YouTube project, Dad Life as well.
And I started filming these projects that me and my kids were building. The main reason was I'm horrible at keeping up with pictures. So I was like, well, if I film these, do a little editing, you know, put them on YouTube, I can always go back and watch those videos of my kids being young. And, uh, it's since then it's that, uh, fulfillment from being able to do that has been a hundred times worth it.
Cause we've already watched our old videos. And when the boys were like tiny compared to now, So that's been great. And then it just, you know, a lot of people enjoyed it. A lot of dads, uh, messaged me a ton about, Hey, you know, thanks for your tree house video. My son watched it or me and my daughter watched it.
And we started building a tree house and I've gotten like so many pictures of, Hey, check out this tree house. I built, you know, after we watched your [00:22:00] video, me and my daughter, me and my son has built this tree house. And I'm just like, That golden ticket, you know, so that was like the crown on it. It's like, that was worth it just to inspire those few people to do that with their kids.
So it's kind of something I enjoyed. It keeps me involved with my kids a lot. You know, it keeps me grounded with them. You know, I'm building stuff around the farm. I'm teaching them all those skills. And then, you know, on the rare chance that another dad sees it and it's like, You know, instead of sitting on the couch, I'm going to get up and build my kids a treehouse or, you know, or even just involve my kid with this project I'm doing.
So, yeah, that, that inspiration really just fulfilled what I needed. I mean, really, so that's kind of where it spun from and why. You know, or how it's been continuing and where the momentum has come from. So now we, you know, we do like one or two projects a month and I film it [00:23:00] and you know, do the social media and stuff.
And you know, my boys, they don't always work with me. I think that's a lot of, uh, you know, misunderstanding. A lot of people that don't know me personally, they see like, Oh, your kids do everything with you. And it's like, it's not always that easy. I mean, you know, and I never want to be that guy. It's like.
You know, yeah, my kids work on every project with me because they don't, you know, sometimes it's a battle and, you know, it's just, sometimes it's not a battle that's, that's worth fighting, you know, making them work with me. But when they do and the, you know, the attitudes are good and everybody's meshing and we're getting along, you know, we're laughing and we're spending time together.
They're learning, I'm learning and it's beneficial. But. You know, you have to take those windows and those opportunities and using the best you can. And they're not, you know, like I said, 100 percent of time, my kids, my boys are not there swinging a hammer with me or digging a hole in the ground, all that stuff.
I mean, they're, they're kids, they're not gonna want to do that 24 7. They, they play video [00:24:00] games and they have free time and you know, they sit around and watch tv like every other kid, you know, but When they get older, if there's a chance that they're going to be that guy in the group that knows how to use a chainsaw or a framing nailer and all that, then that's the motivation that keeps me teaching them, you know, the stuff when I
Franklin: can.
You know, I think one of the things about it is just to be that example. You know, even if they're not always joining you, they still see what you're doing, right? And my kids are the same way. They join me on some things and other things, you know, it's like pulling teeth. But I think just the fact that you're out there doing it and showing them and then teaching them along the way and hopefully, you know, through your actions, you're, you're just kind of instilling that, that work ethic and, and that, and that kind of drive to do things in them.
Where did your. work ethic come from?
Mike: A lot of it came from my dad. You know, growing up, he was, you know, I kind of grew up in the nineties and I think when I talked to my [00:25:00] friends and everybody, I think almost every father was like this in the nineties. They were very business oriented. You know, it was like, it was like the rush of being successful.
You know, like business dinners and business lunches and, you know, that whole, you know, big balloon in the nineties where every, like every man or dad want to just, they were fully involved the work, you know, the, most of the moms stayed home. That was kind of like right before, you know, a lot of moms started working.
So the dads were out working, being a successful businessman. A lot. And my dad was the same way. And he was always working on a project. He didn't do a whole lot with his hands, like, you know, building stuff, but he, he built a lot of like, you know, buildings and he did a lot of commercial development and, you know, he did, uh, ran a roofing company for about 20 years.
So he did that always involved with, with some kind of, uh, financial business deal, really successful in it. So it was like. You know, that definitely inspired me to, you [00:26:00] know, just always keep moving forward and building and just, you know, building my life up. Now, it did take me a little while in life to realize that, you know, wealth and, you know, building a joyful, happy life is not necessarily dollar bills or money signs, you know, there's two different things.
So. On that side of it, you know, it's just, that's what I worked for is just to build a life and opportunity for my kids that allow them, you know, Hey, slow down a little bit and enjoy the moment. Like this is what, this is what living is about. This is what we do. You have to enjoy it. If you're just going to hustle, bustle through life and try to accomplish that next goal or that next objective, then.
You're going to miss the whole trail that you ran down. You know, there could be some nice stuff to look at along the way. So, but, and that's kind of my work ethic. I mean, I, you know, I like keeping my mind busy with, you know, working around the house and the farm here and. You know, [00:27:00] always, you know, kind of building, building
Franklin: forward, building up and showing them.
Did your dad ever take you to work with him or didn't like he had a roofing company? Were you up on the roof like doing roofing work? And yeah, yeah. So
Mike: I learned how to roof. He did commercial roofing. So back then it was a lot of like melted asphalt with the, you know, the rock layer and tar paper. So, um, yeah, I went to work with him a lot when I was in high school.
That's where I worked over the summers. Um, every summer we would work full time on the commercial roofs with the, with his crews. And, uh, yeah, I learned a lot. I mean, hands on, like, even just the, the smell of asphalt when I smell it, like they're paving a road to me, it's like kind of good teenage childhood memories of just working and like, you know, just really busting butt and living, you know, the, the hard life.
Franklin: You know, I think growing up for me, those, uh, those jobs that were either just exhausting, you know, where I would end the day and even if I wanted to go and get in trouble that night, I probably didn't [00:28:00] have the energy to do it, were so valuable in, in just teaching me how to work hard. And then I also think it's good for us to all have some jobs growing up that teach us what we don't want to do.
You know, it's like I had a couple of, uh, different jobs growing up where You know, the main lesson I took away from it was I want to work really hard so I don't have to do this my whole life, you know, and, you know, I think it's a gift when we are either given the opportunity or put in the position of developing that work ethic early on.
And if we can instill some of that in our sons and daughters, then then that's just. That's just part of it.
Mike: Absolutely. Yeah, I totally agree. Yeah. If you work a job, it's like, you know, I'd always encourage my boys not to, not to quit, but you know, you're right. Like learning. If they, if they're doing something, you know, hands on labor and they're like, man, I, I don't ever want to do this like for a living.
Well, I mean, start learning to do something else or provide it in another way, I think that's a huge benefit, [00:29:00] especially if you never worked those jobs or never have to do that, then yeah, your, your realm of, you know, just knowledge is. is so small and you just don't know how much you can, uh, capacity you can expand
Franklin: really.
So you get your boys out on a, on your farm. Most men probably don't have a farm to go teach their sons on, you know, most men are raising their family in a neighborhood somewhere. What would be some of your perspective and thoughts on How a dad could listen to this and engage in some projects with his kids, even if he doesn't have, you know, 10 or 20 or 30 acres out back to, uh, to go, to go get, uh, a project started in.
Mike: I mean, I think the options, I mean, there's a ton of options out there and like with, with my property, you know, a lot of the stuff that we do, me and my boys build is right here in my garage. You know, this is my garage I'm sitting in. So, I mean, you don't necessarily have to have a lot of property, but when you're, you know, building [00:30:00] stuff, like just get the kids involved in there with you.
And especially if it's something you enjoy, like I wouldn't, you know, take the kids. If you don't enjoy something then, and you're forcing your kids to do it, then that's, you know, it's not going to mirror well to them. Like if you enjoy something, whether it's, you know, me, You know, I like to build, I like to build stuff.
So I involve my boys with that. And, you know, I've, I've seen benefits in that after 10 years of seeing that in my kids, um, if I didn't have those skills, I would, you know, like if you like hunting and fishing, I like hunting and fishing a lot, but it's not something like a passion of mine to where I have a hunting leash or I go fishing a lake all the time.
If you did, if that was your passion, I would make sure you include the boys. Or your kids, boys or girls, take them out with you, you know, and steal those classes and them while you're working, you know, towards a common goal. But yeah, I mean, it could be anything. I think it's just. You know, as long in this day and age, like the battle us fathers have is [00:31:00] screen time, I think, and the outside, uh, reach from the internet, all that stuff that's just horrible, you know, brain mush, I call it for my kids.
You know, the more minutes you can get them away from that. And then watching you build something or doing anything, whether it's working out, if you're really into working out, you know, have your boys come outside with you, your kids and jump around, jumping jacks, whatever, I think, get them involved. I think it's a lot easier, like I said, more important when it's something that you truly enjoy.
Um, because I think then they're going to see that, you know, and, and that's going to be a different experience for you as a father. to portray that
Franklin: on them. Another way to look at it is to also go. Maybe you don't have something that comes to mind, you know, to bring your kids along on. But maybe it's just paying attention to what they like, you know, outside of of screen time stuff, you know, is there an activity that your son or daughter enjoys?
And it's like, well, I'll just go and [00:32:00] do that with them, you know, my son loves to fish. And so I'm taking him fishing tomorrow with a buddy. And so I love to fish too. But if, even if I didn't, like, that's an example of a way where I can pour into him. And get involved and interested in something that he is interested in and and bond with him in that way and also show him that I'm paying attention.
Sometimes it may not be as much. Hey, come do the things that I love to do. But how can we do the things that our kids love to do and be reciprocal in that, you know, because I think we can also, as dads, push something so hard that we end up pushing our kids away instead of, you know, getting what we really want, which is to teach them and to bond with them.
And also sometimes it's maybe shifting perspective and focusing on, you know, what do they like to
Mike: do? Absolutely. Yeah. I learned that the hard way with my first son, you know, trying to push, you know, stuff that you like, or you want them to learn or do on them is. It doesn't [00:33:00] work, you know, it'll always backfire.
So, yeah, I mean, I totally agree. Like just anything that they, they like, um, one trick that we do, like when summer starts, we have all our, all our boys make a list of, Hey, what's three things you want to do this summer? Like anything, whether it be go fishing or go to the beach or go to amusement park, go to the arcade, whatever it is.
And we'll try our best to run down that list. And go do all those things. But yeah, just, you know, starting somewhere like that, you know, you'll, you can quickly find a passion or sparks in your kids. Like, Hey, we, you know, we took them to a waterfall or something. He, they really love hiking, you know, going to a waterfall, especially where we live in North Georgia.
Like the abundance of nature and hikes and waterfalls is like immense around here. So. Even local stuff, like there's all kind of stuff you can get your kids in. And like you said, I totally agree. Like sometimes just ask your kid, like, Hey, what do you want to do today? I'm going to take the day and it's going to be yours.
Just [00:34:00] name a couple of things. Let's go hit them up and
Franklin: do them. Most of our kids would love more of our attention. You know, putting away the cell phone or, or taking the day off of work or, or just setting those things aside that, that keep us busy or distracted and just focus on them and open that door.
How many times are they on the phone or on a screen? Maybe just because we're not paying attention, so they're not paying attention, you know? And so, you know, I think we all as fathers just have the opportunity every day to, uh, to open that door and, and connect with them and, and invite them into doing things that Are going to build memories and build a bond.
Mike: Absolutely. Absolutely. And it, you know, I I've seen this as our kids grow up and we have one who's 15 now. So, you know, 15 years, watched him grow in my middle and my youngest as well. But, uh, you know, they change like, They change often when they're growing up that age. So it's just something, you know, a lot of times you just have to slow down and just [00:35:00] ask them like, Hey, like, what, you know, what do you want to do or what's going on or, you know, talk to me, bud, you know, cause I have out of my three boys, you know, one of them likes to talk a lot.
One of them is going so fast, he doesn't have time to talk because he's 120 miles an hour all the time, and one of them doesn't really like to talk that much, you know, as far as like emotional stuff, like we'll talk all day, but, you know, as far as just trying to connect with him, so, you know, I'm here to tell you as a dad, it's difficult, and it's a challenge every day to try and, you know, just to bond or get some kind of connection with your kid.
But. You know, I think the point of it and the whole objective is just trying, you know, so
Franklin: there's a book I, uh, I finished, uh, just the other day and it's the five love languages for kids. I don't know if you've heard of the five love languages
Mike: and I have not. I've heard it for spouses.
Franklin: Yeah, a lot of men have heard of it for spouses, uh, you know, to really [00:36:00] understanding your and your wife's love languages and they broke, break them into five different ones, but then they wrote this book called the five love languages for kids and it applies the same print.
I mean, it's all the same stuff, right? So, uh, the five level languages, you've got quality time. You've got acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts, and physical touch, right? So those are the five different ways that our spouses feel loved and also that our kids feel loved. And we usually have one or two that are kind of the main way that we experience love expressed to us.
And so I read that book and have been applying that to my kids. And so, as you were just talking about your three boys, they're all three different people, right? That they, one of them's a talker, one of them's not, and one of them's moving so fast, he doesn't have time to talk. But when you put it through the lens of those five love languages, it's like, Oh, then you can start seeing how you're able to connect.
And it might not be through your words. I know my [00:37:00] son, one of his is physical touch. Cause when I go up and put my, hand on his shoulder or when I give him a hug, he never pulls away, right? He leans in. And so I've been able to identify like that's just one of his, his ways that he, he gets communicated like that.
My daughter's different. Like she's not really a huggy person, but quality time in those words of affirmation for her. are huge and she just lives for it. And so one for you and then like this is something I've been kind of working on and really try to be intentional with because we may be wanting to have, you know, teach our kids something and connect.
Really, what we want to do is connect with them, right? Yeah, absolutely. Even beyond teaching them something like how do we connect with our kids? Well, one of the ways that we can do that and be intentional and be really, I guess, strategic about it, if you will, is to really understand, well, how do they feel loved to begin with?
And it may be that the reason we're frustrated is we're speaking a lot, we're trying to speak a love language that they [00:38:00] just don't, they don't resonate with, right? We're, we're trying to, you know, Like, do something with them and it's like, you know, they really just need a hug or we're, we keep telling them what to do or how to do it and they just need encouragement words of affirmation.
Like, so it really just kind of paints a whole different picture and gives you a different lens to look through.
Mike: That's good. That's because I've read that book for the spouses, uh, a long time ago and I didn't know they had one for the kids, but yeah, that, that definitely makes a lot of sense. For sure.
Franklin: Yeah, I started when I listened to it and they go through each one of those and I was so quickly able to go, Oh, I see where my son falls in this. I see where my daughter falls in this. And, and it, it got really clear. And then I started leaning in, in those ways. And lo and behold, like they respond, right.
That's awesome. And when it comes to quality time, this is a nuance too, that. That every kid needs quality time like that's like a that one's kind of like the if you play bingo, you get that one like gimme in the [00:39:00] middle, that's the one like every kid needs quality time. I don't think that doesn't apply to any of them.
But when it, you know, what is quality time really mean? It doesn't mean that you're doing some extraordinary event all the time or having to spend money or going on some big trip. I really think it's just focus. Like quality times me time means your focus is solely on them and your connection with them and not distracted or focused on other things.
Mike: Absolutely. And that's, that's great. You know, nowadays, I think that's one of the hardest things to do and probably the most important to do with with each, each child or every kid. But yeah, that's definitely, that's definitely a good one
Franklin: shifting a little bit. What are some of your daily habits and routines that, that you kind of build in to, uh, to show up?
Because, you know, some days you're at the firehouse and having to show up for people in that capacity. And then you shift in your home for your, for your boys and your wife. Is there anything that you do [00:40:00] regularly to kind of put yourself on point?
Mike: Yeah, it's a little bit hard doing shift work because you know, every on the third morning I have to go to work.
So I usually get up and leave before my boys wake up. But I try because it's so varying with shift work. I try when I'm home to maintain somewhat of a schedule just for peace of mind. Otherwise you'll you won't even remember what day of the week it is. With my work, but yeah, so that's waking up early, getting to bed as early as I can after putting the kids down, waking up, I'd always try and, you know, get a physical, physical exercise, whether it's just yoga or stretching.
I'm going outside. I'll try to walk around barefoot sometimes and just get some, I don't know if you've read about grounding, um, at all, but I'll try and get some, some grounding time in a little bit of just mental clarity. And then once that's, once that's done and complete, then, you know, I'm there for when the kids get up [00:41:00] and breakfast and whatever else off to school.
Then once they're gone for school, then, you know, my work day usually starts with projects or just work around the house, the normal, you know, cutting the grass, feeding the animals, you know, check on the wife, uh, we're usually running around doing, uh, errands all the time, a lot, so that's pretty much my day.
Franklin: With, um, the demands of the firehouse and then you get the farm and you get the boys love to shift over a little bit to, uh, to like how you. stay connected with your wife, like when you've got so many demands coming at you.
Mike: Yeah, that's definitely a difficult one. Luckily, we're into the same hobbies. Like she, she has a milk cow.
So every morning, um, all of her milk comes from our farm that we drink and the boys drink. So she, You know, she wakes up and kind of has the same routine as me. We try and get some kind of physical workout, stretching in, coffee, and then [00:42:00] feed the animals. And then she milks every morning. So that's religious.
Like she has to do that. There's, we don't have an option. So she's out there milking every morning for about an hour. And then, so we bond a lot with that, you know, I don't do it enough, but sometimes I'll bring her coffee out there when she's milking the cow. Go talk to her a little bit and towards late morning, our, our days will kind of come together.
And, uh, you know, especially when the boys are in school, you know, we definitely have a lot of lunch dates cause that's kind of like our free time. We're like, Hey, let's go have a lunch date, um, to connect, uh, to, and we both love the same things. Like. The hobby farms, the homesteading stuff, animals, antiques.
Like we do a lot of antique shopping. We, we do, you know, we get a lot of antique furniture for the house, uh, working on the house. Um, she has a lot of projects going on around here as well. She's also a realtor full time. So she's a real estate agent. So she's on the run a lot too, you [00:43:00] know, selling and buying homes for people doing that.
But that's kind of. both our hobbies, you know, with all the DIY home stuff I do. So that helps keep us connected. And every now and then we'll get grandma all over to babysit and we'll have a date night, you know? So
Franklin: that's, that's, that's about it there. You know, I feel like date nights, you know, whether it's a date lunch or a date night, like that is, I've had young men ask me, you know, who were just getting married, like, you know, what's, what's your best bit of marriage advice?
And I tell them never stop dating. Go on a date night, figure out a way to make it happen. Uh, our kids are finally at that age where we can, we actually left them for the first time the other night and, uh, you know, they had the phone and all, but left them without a babysitter. And we came home and they were playing nice and everything was good, but you know, for the, for the men listening, like if you're married, like one of your non negotiables has got to be a date every week, you know, just do whatever, whatever you [00:44:00] have to, in order to make that happen,
Mike: Yeah, I totally agree.
That's something that, you know, with the kids and, you know, always trying to be the best dad or a good father, that's something I overlook a lot. And that definitely is one of my weaknesses, probably. I need to spin up and, you know, devote more time to, and show up more, as you would say, for sure. I think a lot of times as fathers, we can get so wrapped up with our kids, like, you know, hey, like, did they have a good day?
Or are they upset? Or, you know, did I do something to upset you? Or how are they feeling? What's their emotions like? That a lot of times we forget about, you know, the partner in the room that, you know, is helping the whole plate spin, right? So. That's, that's definitely a good one.
Franklin: Well, you know, we were talking earlier about being an example for our kids when it comes to work ethic and in our career and how we go and I mean, all the way down to, you know, cold plunging and working out like we're, we're modeling so much for our kids.
Well, one of the important things that we need to model as men is [00:45:00] how are we treating their mom and our, and our spouse, you know, and one of the ways that we can model to them. is to go on date night. And, and I think there's even something valuable and really powerful about them seeing you or, and I'm not, I'm talking about me, like in husbands in general, like when our kids see us put their mom above them and say, no, like we're going on date night and you've got a babysitter and this is our time.
Like, in the moment, they really don't want that, but I think there's probably a deeper sense of, oh, mom and dad are good. Mom and dad are going on, on a date night, and there's probably reassurance in that. And we're also modeling to them, like, what it looks like to put a marriage first and to invest in that and to be husbands that, that prioritize that time with our spouse.
And that's not always just about them.
Mike: Absolutely. I 100 percent agree with that. Yeah. I mean, cause when they get older and they have their family and their wife, you know, having date [00:46:00] night, taking their wife out and showing her time and, you know, having that connection and keeping it would, will be normal to them, you know, because that's how they grew up.
So that's definitely in this day and age is very important. Cause like I said earlier, you know, as a preteen or young kid growing up in the nineties, I think that was, you know, not very common in the households. You know, it was, you know, a lot of date nights and, um, you know, them trying to have that connection, all that stuff with, you know, back then with everybody trying to be the best businessman or the most successful businessman they can.
So yeah, I think that's a good, in current day and age, that is a good goal to set and especially to show the kids for sure.
Franklin: And I love how you talk about having a common interest. I know that's something that I could definitely improve on, like having, having something that you're both passionate about.
That's just such a great way to bond and have something that, uh, that you have in common. That's not just the [00:47:00] kids. It's not just, you know, raising three boys. And so That would serve any man well to figure out how can you, how can you cultivate and identify something that you can be intentional about building with your wife and start with what she likes, you know, and then see if you can't like pick up that same interest at some level, or at least just participate in it with her, you know, ask her about what it is that she enjoys doing and then do that thing with her.
Even if it's not something you necessarily love doing, like do it because it's an opportunity to bond and to build that common. Uh, that common interest
Mike: for sure is,
Franklin: you know, definitely very important. Definitely important, Mike, man, we've gone over a whole lot today. And, uh, what would be, uh, your, your last bit of advice, uh, just for fathers out there who are trying to show up every day and do their best to raise sons and daughters to be great, you know, great people one day, what would, what would be your, your parting words?
Mike: You know, I [00:48:00] think if you're trying to show up, then, then you are showing up one, uh, an old boss I had one time told me, you know, do the best I can every day. And when I lay my head down at night on the pillow, That's it. You know, I did the best. I put in, put in the work, did the effort, show, you know, did the best I could.
So I'm happy with that. So, you know, satisfied with that. I think that plays a big part in being a father as well. It's like you do the best you can every day. You, you show up, you try, you put in the effort and that will be seen. It might not be seen right away or you might not think it's noticed or appreciated.
right away. But when the kids get older, they'll look back and hopefully they'll see that effort that was put in. But yeah, I just think it's just being consistent, you know, and just trying, you know, keeping the, uh, keeping the, the temper tantrums and the anger out of as much as you can, and just being there for the kids and understanding and keeping in mind that you are [00:49:00] their guidance.
They're watching you, um, walk through life. You know, so set the good example for them to follow
Franklin: in your path. Love it, man. That's such good advice. Mike, thank you. This has been really fun. I really appreciate your time today and your perspective and wisdom and experience and, uh, and your just willingness to share and be open.
Mike: Of course, Franklin. Yeah, I appreciate you having me. Definitely enjoyed it. Hopefully, uh, people will get some stuff out of it and if that is what happens and we are all blessed.
Franklin: I know they will. If someone wanted to reach out and connect with you or follow along with what you've got going on, where would they, uh, where would they find you?
Mike: Yeah, they can check out Instagram or YouTube. It's project dad life and the email is info at project dad life. So any of those I'm on all the time. So just reach out and we'll be in
Franklin: touch. Perfect. Mike, thank you very much for your time. And, uh, that wraps this one up. I appreciate it, Franklin. Appreciate it.[00:50:00]
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