[00:00:00] Right now, the world needs great men who will stand up and lead with honor, serve with purpose, and courageously fulfill their God given roles as husbands, fathers, leaders, and men. I'm your host, Franklin Swan, bringing you practical tools and powerful conversations you can use every day to build yourself into the man God is calling you to be.

This is The World Needs Men. Let's go.

All right, welcome back to the World Needs Men podcast. I'm your host, Franklin Swan, here today with my guest, Nick Kumalatsos. He is a husband and father, a former Marine Raider. Thank you very much for your service. Entrepreneur, he's a fitness advocate and a coach. He's been featured in Men's Health, Forbes, Men's Journal, and just [00:01:00] is, uh, an all around, uh, advocate for all things men showing up the way they need to.

So, Nick, thank you very much for joining today, and excited to have you on the show. Thanks, thanks, man. Uh, it's, it's funny, you actually said my name correctly. Wonder how much practice that took. No, I did. A couple times where I'm like, Camulatos, Camulatos. Like, make sure, cause it, it, it could be, uh, tricky.

Thank you. It's funny, you and I got, uh, connected as I was listening to a former mentor and coach and now friend of mine, uh, Nick Long and two of y'all were having a podcast conversation and, uh, he said, your name. I'm like, ah, now I know how to, uh, get ahold of this guy. And so I'm glad he was able to connect us.

Yeah. Nick's, Nick's a great dude. Yeah. We're doing some business stuff with him with one of our businesses. He's a ninja and he just, you know, it's. It's important that you surround yourself with, with men that, uh, share the same core values and morals, even with business, because you can go so much further, so much faster than trying to do it on your own.

And, um, yeah, [00:02:00] he's been a great asset to our team. That's awesome. Well, uh, man, uh, I guess for the listeners, just start off, can you give us a little more on your background and who you are and your story, if you don't mind? Absolutely. First generation American. My family immigrated from, from Greece. And then, you know, unfortunately, you know, that, that, that family didn't work out.

And, uh, we, I ended up growing up with my little brother and my mom as single, single home, which comes with its own challenges. Abusive stepfather from the time I was say four or five to 11. And then I guess because of that, and the lack of manhood, which is kind of goes into this, into this podcast, the lack of a positive father figure in my life, and no good outlet there.

Of course, the, you know, the enemy, the evil side of things is, is waiting there with their arms open going, come on, we got you. And mm-Hmm, . And so by the time I was 11 years old, I went right into [00:03:00] a, a gang and I was out in Florida and starting to do kind of essentially some organized crime stuff where we're stealing stuff and somebody's selling it and you know, that sort of thing.

And. Yeah, and by the time I was 13, uh, two felonies as an adult, which I didn't know was, would, would wreck me or not have a problem with me until later in life, uh, because I was like, well, I was a kid, no big deal, but then trying to join the military. Uh, they were like, Nope, you're a high school dropout.

You got drug stuff. You're a convicted, you know, felon on two accounts. You know, they're like, there's no way you're joining the military. And I was 13, 11 to 13. They're like, doesn't matter. It shows up. And then it still affected me. Even when I was in special operations, I came back and tried to get a gun and the sheriff was like, you're a convicted felon.

You can't get a gun. And I'm like, but I have a top secret clearance. And I was so calm. What are you talking about? And he was like, yeah, you got to get this fixed. Long story short there, I contacted a lawyer actually in Bay County, Florida, told him who I [00:04:00] was, what I did. He went and saw the judge, expunged everything from my record.

So that was, so that was pretty cool. But anyways, ended up, you know, went to join the Marine Corps and they were like, nope, no way kid, not going to happen because of all this stuff. So it took me almost two years, a two year fight. And that was the, it was, you know, one of my personality things. The guy told me no.

And I was, I was like the audacity of this, this individual to tell me, no, no, you tell me, no, it's like, how dare he, how dare you? So that just became my mission. I have this story. I was making good money. I had a whole life. I lived, was by my living on the beach by myself. You know, I think this is the nineties.

I'm 17 years old. I'm living in Panama city beach and I, and I, my own, my own two bedroom house on the beach. You know, I'm making, you know, close to, I don't know, a couple thousand a week. Yeah. You know, a few thousand dollars a week and legally this time. And, uh, and I blew it all up to join the Marine Corps and well, [00:05:00] initially, and they said, no, and that's when I blew it up.

So I went to college, got rid of that house, moved in with my grandmother and just made it my sole mission. And it almost took me two years to get in. And once I did. Of course, there was some more, you know, perseverance to adversity that I had to do. And shortly after that, I took selection for what we called Force Recon.

And then after about three, three plus years there, I took selection for Special Operations and did half the rest of my career serving, you know, with the, against the war on terror, uh, with Marine Special Operations Command and left that command in 2012. And I was full 12 years in the military. So, I'm curious, what was it, so you're 17, you're making good money, what was it that drew you into the military?

So, great question, and I'm, I'm really glad that you actually pulled that out of there. You know, I'm 17 years old, I'm making, for a 17 year old, stupid amount of money. I mean, I would literally, like, frankly, I would go, I would go to the ATM with 1, [00:06:00] 000 cash, and then, and, cause I, cause I didn't want to be carrying around that much cash, and I would deposit.

Now, of course, if I was getting paid that much cash, I'd have, I'd have a different plan. But nonetheless, I would put it in the ATM every single night, and I was living a decent life. And one day, it hit me like a sledgehammer to my face. I saw the next 20, 30 years of my life. And I was like, Oh man, I'm going to be doing, I'm going to be right here doing the same thing.

What was it you were doing? From 6 a. m. to 2 p. m. I was the audio visual tech for the Bay Point Marriott Conference Center. So setting, you know, conferences, so setting up audio, lighting, visual, things like that for them, being their rep for that. And then I would take a 30 minute break and from 2. 30 to 10, I was a bellman at the same hotel.

So you gotta think this was 1996, I believe, and I was getting paid 15 an hour [00:07:00] to be an audio visual tech. And then as a bellman, I think I was made like 2, 2 and a half dollars an hour or something like that. But I was getting 100 tips every time. Well, it's like, I take somebody's park, somebody's car.

Here's a, here's a 100 bill. You know what I mean? Drive them, drive them in the golf cart to the boat dock so they can get on the yacht. Here's a 100 bill. Wow. You know, carry their bags up. Was there something in you that just said that you've got a lot more potential than taking bags to someone's room?

Yeah, I, I didn't hate on anybody around me, but I, I saw, yeah, granted I could have moved up, right? Like I could have moved up in that, in that hotel chain and done something and made it a career, but I would still just be doing essentially the same thing. And, and that freaks me out because if, if you, you know, If you go back to the beginning part of my life, frankly, I didn't, I didn't live in one location longer than six months.

Wow. And I used to make the joke that my [00:08:00] mom was running from the law because every six months we would move, like different school every six months, different house every six months. And the reality is she was just, you know, single mom essentially. And she was married to a guy from five, I think four or five to about 11.

She was married to a guy who, who would come in and out. Like he worked, I think he worked in an ore rig. So he would be out there and then he'd come home. So it was really on her and we would just move around. And I say move around, we move around the country. Went all the way out west, all the way back. So I was, as much as I hated it back then, I was really accustomed to life being, life changing continuously.

And I didn't realize how much I, I had gotten used to that. So when I, this thing hit me of like, oh, I've done decent for myself. This is, this could be it. At 17? Yeah. I just panic. So I said, fuck it, I'm going to join the Marine Corps. Well, I said I'm going to join the military. I said, what's the hardest, what's the hardest branch to join [00:09:00] at the entry level?

You know, you know, and then they were like, well, the Marine Corps Marine Corps bootcamp is the hardest bootcamp. It's the longest. It's the hardest. I'm like, uniforms look good. And back then, I don't know if, I don't know if you remember the Marine Corps recruiting commercials were like, guys were fighting dragons with swords and you know what I mean?

Like all kinds of crazy. I'm like, sign me up, dude. Dragons with swords. That's I'm into that. And, uh, so anyways, the Marine Corps got me, but when I went and went and met with them, I'll never forget him taking my information down, going to the back and then coming back, looking at it and shaking his head going, you're never, you're not just joining the Marine Corps.

You're never joining the military period. And this was during the Clinton administration, you know, right towards the tail end. Bush got elected when I was in, in recruit training in 2000, but nonetheless, this was during the Clinton. So like, it was very difficult to get in like, cause he was drawing down the military.

Yeah. And, um, and that's when the whole Bracken alignment thing was happening back in the late nineties. You know, the only, the only big event that was [00:10:00] happening then was Kosovo, which guys, you know, Force Recon did respond to, the Marines did respond to that, a lot of people did, but it wasn't a huge thing, right?

It was a minor, minor kind of situation. The 9 11 hadn't happened yet. 9 11 hadn't, yeah, exactly. So it was very difficult for those guys to get in, but. When he told me no, man, that lit a fire under my ass. I was like, oh, how dare you? How, how, the audacity of this guy to tell me I can't do something I want to do.

It's funny how, uh, how that kind of a comment, some people will just shut down and go, Oh, they, you know, they told me no. And then other people, it's like, It just, like you say, it lights that fire and you're just not going to quit until you, until you do that. One other thing I want to figure out, so, you were in a gang.

I've got a 12 year old son, so the idea of him having been in a gang for a year at this age just is mind bending. So, you're in a gang, you get in some trouble. I mean, it would have been very easy to just continue down that path, I'm [00:11:00] guessing. So, what was it that got you out of that environment and into just, like, having an actual job and supporting yourself?

Um, So the second time I got arrested, this was early nineties, keep in mind. So second time I got arrested, but all the times I got arrested, I never had a lawyer or a parent present how they got away with that. I have no idea. But the second time I got arrested, where they really, really penned me, I didn't get, I didn't give them anything.

I was like this young, tough, or thought I was this, this tough, this hard ass, this tough guy. Right. So I was like, I'm not talking to the cops. I'm not ratting anybody out. Well, unbeknownst to me. Yeah, this is a longer story, but unbeknownst to me, people had started talking and I was the only one that didn't talk, so they threw the book at me.

So this time that I got arrested, if memory serves me correct, this is the time that Juvie was full for processing and imagine that the 90s, [00:12:00] early 90s, Juvie was full and that kind of breaks my heart. So they process me through county. So a couple of things that are happening. One, my brothers, right, all essentially turned on me and not, not, not like Nick did it, but like they just basically succumbed to the pressure and talks and made and cut deals and, and I didn't.

So because I didn't cut a deal and I didn't talk, everything got thrown on me. And then on top of that, I get processed through county with grown adults. And at this time I'm probably 12, 13 years old. Wow. And I remember going, Oh, I'm not quite as. Badass as I once thought I was. Mm-Hmm. . These are grown men like you.

I, I went to juvie. I'm like, ah, whatever. You know what I mean? Mm-Hmm. , I don't really care. I mean, I was getting, I got a tattoo in juvie while I was in juvie. I got a mm-Hmm. , I got the gang the first time I went in there. I got a, my gang [00:13:00] tat in juvie with a, with a plastic fork and an ink pen. Oh my gosh.

When I was a little older and that, and then they all rolled on me and then I got the book thrown at me and then I got processed through county. That was a lot. It was a lot of things stacked up that I was like, maybe I need to. Rethink. I need to rethink my decision making process here. And I was kind of left to my own devices.

And, and so, so I'm right, right back to kind of being alone again. And so that was the, the initial domino that fell, right. And there were several dominoes after that. One of the great things that I, that my mom did was I got three years, I don't know what kind of deal she worked with this dang, this, this prosecutor and the judge, but, and she did, she did work her ass off.

take care of her son. But I didn't do any jail time on that second time. I did a little bit, but not like a long stint. Once I went to court, I got out, but I had to do three years probation. Now keep in mind like three years probation as a [00:14:00] teenager from 13 to 16. That's an eternity for a teenager It is I felt like it was a life sentence.

Yeah a life sentence. So what she did was she got me a She worked out some deal. I don't know how she did it, but she worked out some deal this church So I worked community service at a youth group at a church for three years That explains a lot. And it was those, there is one young, young, uh, Vernon Griffith, a young man who took, he was older than me, he was a couple years older than me, and took a, took an interest in me and became, we became really, really, really, uh, would have been lifelong friends.

Unfortunately, he, uh, he passed away. Everybody will know who Vernon Griffith is because the very first, Very first Mar Thor movie where they show iis Elba as the biros engineer or whatever they call him. Mm-Hmm. . That was not Idis Elba. That [00:15:00] was a, that was his face, a CGI generated replacement, but Vernon Griffith played that role in one of the very first movies.

I think the couple, a couple of the movies. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah. He was stuntman in Hollywood, water world and all kinds of different things, but he ended up being, he ended up being a stuntman in Hollywood and was, and was the, that individual in the movie. But nonetheless, he became a dear friend and a very positive role model.

And unfortunately, he left this earth way, way too soon. And I, and I know for a fact that there's hundreds of people that their lives are changed because of that, because of that gentleman. Uh, that I mentioned, but anyways, sad, sad situation, but that's kind of how it happened. I had a bunch of individuals that took the time and energy to pour into me and to, uh, and listen, you know, I made mistakes after that.

I'm making, I made mistakes during it, but it was that catalyst of the dominoes falling that turned [00:16:00] me into the direction that I was, uh, that I, that I took. Yeah, I've, uh, in, in men that I have interviewed on this podcast, it's interesting, there's, there is a common thread that those that didn't have a father figure most often had someone that they, that came along, that filled a positive influence and mentor role in their life and was able to at least point them in the right direction.

Absolutely. You know, with the juvie that was, was completely full, you think about all the, the guys that were in there. How many of them. You know, went into the military, started businesses afterwards, like, created a successful life, and are now pouring into other men, and, and like, you've got this gift and this, this opportunity that gets put in your lap just by the sheer fact of you, you've got some good influence.

Yeah, and even the, even the youth pastor himself, Jack McDonald, I mean, he was, he was, he still, as far as I know, he's still going and working with troubled youth. [00:17:00] And, uh, and this has been a lifelong mission from him. And if it wasn't for, you know, Jack and guys like that in my, in my teenage years, I didn't have anything else.

I would have ended up with the rest of my friends. So, how has that influenced you as a father, if we fast forward a bit? So, and this is the reason why, have you seen the work that we do with the Squire program nationwide? Yeah, I'd love for you to talk about that, you know, when you want to throw that in there.

Absolutely, and we actually just got off a call with Larry Edinger from the DATEDGE. You know Larry? Yeah, uh, he was on, Larry Hagner? Yeah, Hagner, that's right. Yeah, yeah, he was, uh, he was on the podcast just a few days ago. Well, there you go. I literally just got off of Zoom with him. We were just filming the, uh, the VSL for the landing page, because we're going to do a co Squire with him in the DatEdge.

Oh, that's awesome. Larry and I went through the Squire program together for the very first time. So, B asked me, or no, I wanted to take my nephew, [00:18:00] through Squire. So I went out there and did that. And then I went back through again as a surrogate dad for a young man who didn't have a father. And then anyways, nonetheless, uh, so now we're running one together here in Holly Ridge, uh, North Carolina, uh, next, I think by next April.

Okay. But yeah, we were just talking about that and it's something we talk about a Squire a lot and it's, And he brought up a good point, is Squire's not just a rite of passage for young men, it's almost, it's almost as if it's like a reminder of how important your role as a father is. And so we talk about that at Squire, about the bear traps that, the bear traps that life is going to put in front of a young man.

And in the absence of a positive male role model, There is an evil out there that are waiting for that positive role model not be there because they will welcome in [00:19:00] your youth. They will welcome in your, your sons and your daughters into their own plan that will drastically change the course of their life.

So it's not a luxury. It's not a nice to have. It's a, it's a requirement and a mandatory thing that us men be the very best version of ourselves and equips with the education, the knowledge on how to lead. and not just how to teach, but actually how to lead ourselves. Yes. And you know, you see since and, and my kind of awakening to all of this, to be honest, all came from, from COVID.

So to rewind a little bit, I got out of the military. I went through my own struggle. I, uh, I don't know if you've picked up my book, but I wrote a book about the ex communicator warrior, The Seven Stages of Transition. So I went through my own, you know, transitional struggle outside of the military, which I thought was a veteran thing.

But after I dug into it and started working with other people, it's just a human being thing. [00:20:00] You live long enough, you're going to go through different chapters in your life. Sometimes you get stuck. That's what it comes down to. And you, and I've noticed that there's these, when you get stuck at, through chapter your life, there's these seven stages of transition that people can go through, and some people never make it out of them.

Some people just kind of pitch a tent in one of those stages and live there for the rest of their life. Mm hmm. But nonetheless, I get all through that, and then, and then, Franklin, to be honest, I was just fed up with everything so much that I just wanted to do my own thing. I'm going to, I'm going to run my businesses.

I'm going to have fun. I'm not going to stress about anything. Nobody knew my political affiliation. Nobody knew my religious affiliation. I was just here to spend time with my family, build my businesses and have fun. I didn't have any responsible, I wasn't responsible for anybody other than my team. You know what I mean?

My family. Yeah. And COVID happened. And then there's a big story on my YouTube. You can go look it up. It's got millions of views and went viral. [00:21:00] Or Jim got raided by the cops at a public gym at the time. Yeah, I've seen that. Yeah. So after all this happened, right. And we started, then we started figuring out kind of what is really happening behind the scenes and what the real motives are.

And you kind of start piecing things together. I was like, how did we get here as a nation? How did we get here? How did this happen? Cause like, I felt like, like Rambo First Bloods, like I went to war, I'm coming back. I just want to be left alone. Why are you messing with me? You know what I mean? Why are you messing with me and my people?

And so I really started analyzing all the steps that the government has taken over, say, the last 50 years to get to where we're at today. And I came down to one. single issue, the pacification of men in America, because that's it, that's it. I was like, I tried to drive it down to like, what is the single most thing that has [00:22:00] ruined this country and gave the federal government the power and the authority to be able to do what they did during that time.

And it came down to men. And I say this because this, and I, you don't have to agree with me. This is my opinion. And I know, and I know that I'm right.

Because this, if. The majority of men were like, myself, you, Larry, the group of men that you and I have become, and the group of men that you and I circle with, guys like Nick Long, there's no way in hell That the federal government would have been able to pull the cards and the threads they did at the time.

Because the majority of men in this country would have been like, I would have said, listen, this doesn't benefit my family, doesn't benefit my businesses, and it doesn't fit a benefit my community, and it doesn't benefit the state and then America. Yeah. All the way up the train. [00:23:00] So, no, we're not going to do this and you're going to come up with a different solution or we're going to come up with a different solution together.

But what did, what happened? Men just folded. Now, there was a group of, there's a small fraction of us that didn't. As a country, we folded, we folded. And nonetheless, we, because of that happening, I think is almost a good thing because what I've seen since then is an awaking of the awakening of men in this country.

To realize that, that. The responsibility for the way that we move forward is on, a hundred percent on us. Mm-Hmm. . It's how we show up, man. I've seen more men lose more weight in the last four years. I've seen more men get coaching in the last four years to be better. Husbands, fathers make more money. I've just seen this, this, this wave of men reclaiming ma true masculinity.

Mm-Hmm. . [00:24:00] And what I think about it as is this, is there is this. It's, uh, was it Newton's third law? With every action, there's an equal reaction? Yep. I think it's the third law. That's what I've seen happen. The opposition has been pushing for years, slowly, right? But then they push hard. Because, we were just talking about this, I was just talking about this with Larry.

As a special operations guy, we got trained in asymmetrical warfare. If I want to take over a country, I'm not worried about the women, I'm not worried about the elderly, I'm not worried about the kids. Mm hmm. If I want to take over a country, Who's the actual threat in that country? The men. The men. So how can I, how can I smartly neutralize that threat without firing a shot?

Make them distracted on vices. Make them overweight. Make them sick. Make them complacent. And we can take power without ever doing anything. They'll just, they'll just agree. And then look what happened the last four years ago. [00:25:00] Everybody just agreed. Yeah, and that was the big opportunity, right? It was like, oh, look at, look at the opportunity we have to just, to take more than we could ever hope to take in such a short amount of time.

And you're right, like, it's just, where were the, where were the men standing up during that time? Where were the men? Where were the good men with morals and core values and a backbone? And listen, some people, some people might get upset when they hear that, and I hope they do. I hope that pisses you off. I hope me saying that pisses you off.

Well, and then the, the part of it just being, it can be a good thing to have those wake up moments. Cause if we didn't get that, then it just continues and continues and we don't get jolted. So on the flip side, you know, they take more, but, but like you said, there, there's so many men's coaching groups that to me just reflects like how hungry men are like to, to step up and lead and to take responsibility and quit being victims and quit.

you know, [00:26:00] relying on and blaming the government for their problems. Like it's not in the halls of Congress that this is going to be resolved. It's in the, it's in your own home that this starts with. And that's where this whole country gets healed is just from the inside out with our homes. Absolutely.

And, uh, one of the books that I'll, uh, I'll throw at people because it's, and it's something we use for the Swire program, but I like that. And we prayed before the, uh, for the podcast launched. And I, I think a lot of times people were like, well, you just need to get involved in church. And. You know, this and sort of thing.

And because of that, I, I bring this book up all at heart. Have you read that? Yes. Phenomenal, right? Yeah. Phenomenal book. And John Eldridge is not like, he even says, he's like, I'm not the tough guy, manly man that, that I see that I, but I want to be. And he, he says that, you know, through this thing, he, he talks about that men and young men need three things.

And we've, we've taken those things away from us, but if you can give men three things. These three things, they will be [00:27:00] a different type of man. And, uh, those three things are, uh, men must have, and this, and we're talking about young men too, as we need a battle to fight. What happens when a young man doesn't have a battle to fight?

A young, a group of, even a group of young men, what do they do? They will go, they'll fight each other. Yeah. Fight each other, get in trouble. They're getting in trouble, they'll find something. We have to, and people will call that toxic. And it's like, no, we are, we're battle, we're born battle ready. I have a four year old that doesn't know any, like you, I can never show him a gun, and I remember this, you can probably do too, somehow when he was two, he picked up a stick and was going pow.

I'm like, they just know. It's just inherent, yeah. It's inherent, or it's a sword, and they started smacking each other with it. We are born this way, and to take that away, and to tell them to stop, climb down, and stop, and be calm, and be, that's taking their manhood away. Yeah. So the first thing is a battle to fight.

The next thing is an adventure to have. We [00:28:00] have to, we have to have adventure in our life. Men, grown men, you and I have to have adventure in our life. And the last thing being is a beauty to rescue. And if you're married, well then that's, what does that mean for you and your wife every single, every single day?

How are you rescuing your wife every single day? And all that, you know, I boil all three of those down into one word, which is simply purpose. Yeah, I, it's funny with the ago you, we have this thing that says. Built by discipline, driven by purpose. And so anyways, my point of bringing this book in there is those three things, but also, he talks about the church.

He talks about Christianity and how it's actually done, done, weave. messed up in the church and made men soft. And because if you talk about like men's groups, and we have in, in the Agoge, we have, uh, our, our coaching community, we have a subsect in there called the men of faithful action. And one of our [00:29:00] coaches, John Mark, and he, he, he's phenomenal.

He's absolutely phenomenal. But he was too, he has, he has a saying, and I don't know if he came up with it or, or he took it from someone, but I absolutely love it. He is. I think he said something like along the lines of, God's not going to, uh, drive a parked car. You have to take action. Yeah, gotta get up and do something.

You gotta get up and do something. He'll get, you're born, you're born with everything. He gave, he gave you everything. But it's you the one that has to say, it's the man that has to take action. Yeah. And, uh, anyways, he talks a lot about that, about how the church is kind of, in this book, just has not really done menace, uh, a good service.

And it's almost like they've, uh, utilized faith and utilize these things to make men more subservient and push their masculinity down. Well, it's, you know, part of it's hard too, when you've got a church service where you're trying to deliver a message. And it's everyone from the 13 year old [00:30:00] young man to a 90 year old woman, like it just becomes so generic and so watered down that you're in you're trying to please everyone versus there's a conversation that will, you know, wake up the heart of a man.

That's it's not going to for a woman doesn't mean that either one's exactly could or you know bad right or wrong It's that one is just not the same as the other I like have you ever seen those those uh, those memes Franklin where it talks about if a woman's having a bad day Or not feeling motivated.

It's like all the steps that she needs to get motivated, right? And it's like a man goes on Instagram and watches one sports highlight reel like motivational talk about getting after and he's like, all right, done. Let's go. Yeah. It's like, it's like the Braveheart speech, right? It's just like, I don't need anything else.

Yeah. I don't need to like, There's nothing else needed. Let's go. I'm ready to go die if that's what is needed. Right. So you're right. That's a good point is, and it's because, [00:31:00] it's because that water and listen, I know that you have to, you have to meet the masses, but the men need a different thing. And I think that's the reason why these communities and these things because of there's been this necessity and calling for this so bad.

Yeah. And. That's why I have a community. Larry has a community. You built a community. And, and we're, we talk about this, we talk about this often about, well, what about competition and business? So I'm like, listen, we're at, we're in a war here. We're in a war. We need more men to stand up and be these type of men so that we can take our country back and take our families back and take our children back because they're coming.

The opposite. Yeah, exactly. The opposition is coming after your children. They don't even want you anymore. They want your kids. And it's coming through. I mean, and you can even be a present father in your home and it's still coming in the door. I mean, through the electronics and through [00:32:00] like all the media mass and all the, uh, stuff.

I mean, it's insanity. I'm glad you said that. I don't have it. I have it at the house. Things on my nightstand is, uh, there's a short book. if you're faith based, if you're, you know, which you should be at some level or to your own, but it was a Christian, Christian man that wrote The Attentional Father. Oh, yeah.

Have you read that one? Yeah. John Tyson. Yeah. Short little, small little book, right? Hold on. I'll get, you didn't have the book. I'll get the book. Okay. So he talks about the five types of fathers in this book and yes, yes. Phenomenal, right? Yeah. And it's, it's, it's such, I'm, I'm camping with my wife. And I'm reading through the five types of fathers and I'm like, okay, babe, I'm like, I'm, and my mind's blown.

I'm reading this and I'm like this, I'm sitting by the fire. My son's right here. You know, I'm, I'm catching up on this book. She's sitting over reading her book. He's playing with sticks, you know, like I said, shooting guns and doing swords and poking the fire. And I asked [00:33:00] her, I've said, what kind of father am I?

And, and so we went through like the present father. And then the next one is the intentional father. And she goes, you're the, you're the intentional father. And it's different what people think. She goes, my dad is a phenomenal dad. She, she has the best, she's a great father. but he was more of a present father and a present father is the one who shows up to all the games.

You do all the work, you're there, you're present, but you know, deep down, there's another level to unlock, but you don't know how to unlock it. And that's where these conversations in these communities kind of come into play. It's like, how do I, how do I level up from being just the present dad, which the present dad's great.

I don't want to get it twisted. The present dad's great. It could just be better. And. That's when you start stepping into the intentional father is when the law of averages change because right now they, they celebrate mediocrity. They celebrate averages. So, which is [00:34:00] great. I think it's great. You know why?

Because our, our youth and us as men. All we have to do is put 5 percent more effort than the average, and we're killers. We're killers. And your young men, the guys that go through Squire program, and they learn this, and they see this, and we prove it to them, in a 15 hour course, they become 5 percent or more better than their peers.

And we've watched, year after year, Like, we, like, like Larry was just talking, we talked, talked the last, like January would be three years that Larry and I went to Squire for the first time. It was, it is amazing to see what his son has done in the three year span. And we all, and he said he always goes back and points to Squire and goes, that happened in that 50, so three years of change, three years of growth.

from a seed that was planted in a 15 hour course. So he only went through that program once. It's not like he's got it. Can you talk at all? Like, I don't know how much you share, [00:35:00] and I'm sure some of it's secretive, or you don't want to kind of give away the whole thing. But yeah, it's this. There's been cultures that have had this rite of passage.

Every male culture has had that. Why don't we have it in America? Ask yourself why? Well, our, our culture got watered down, right? There's tribes in Africa. You got to stand on a pole. You got to fight a lion. You know, the Greeks had the Agoge. That's why we call it, they call it the Agoge. Cause we felt like Josh and I were like, I think there needs to be like a training camp for men to learn how to be men and fathers again.

Yeah. And because of my heritage, I'm like, well, that's the Agoge. It's put men back through the Agoge. Yep. Anyway, so that's, So we lost that rite of passage. When a woman becomes, when a young girl becomes a woman, there's something that physically changes with her body, you know, and that's in itself is a rite of passage, right?

Is she, does she have all the tools that she needs and the experience she needs to be like, [00:36:00] you know, a Proverbs 31 wife? But at that point, does she have a seat at the table to start learning those things? Yes, because of the physical thing that's happened to her body. She can now essentially bear children.

So this is, there's another level of, that she's unlocked in her life. which is a beautiful thing. What happens to a young man when they go through puberty? Like, what's the thing that happens for a man to say, now you are a man and you, you're a young man and you need to have, you need to learn from these elders and you have a seat.

You're not an elder, you're not a knight, right? But you get a seat at the table to now you've, you've transgressed this thing to where you're at stage two of learning what it means to be a man, a father and a husband. Yep. There's really nothing. Nothing. There's nothing. So this is what that is. This is [00:37:00] a one day thing that you have to go through.

So if the dad is the knight, then he's the squire and the dad is leading him through this rite of passage and they're doing it together. And Franklin, I mean, to be honest, and you probably would too. Like I get choked up. Like I, I probably cry five times. every squire to watch that happen, to watch that transition from these young men turning into like little scared cubs to roaring lions by the end of the day.

Yeah. To watching their confidence build sinking that thinking that they can't achieve these certain things or they can't be this type of kid or this is not for them to the end of the day going, I cannot believe what I accomplished and what I'm capable of and watch how they go forward with that. In the, you know, in the Intentional Father book, he talks about if you don't initiate, then what boys are doing, and you even look [00:38:00] back to your own childhood, they're self initiating, right?

There's that, that deep seated desire in them to prove themselves, to find their purpose, and without direction, and that's what the Agoge, I'm assuming, does, is it gives direction and focus to that drive, so that it's productive and positive, versus it just being You know, thrown out onto the world, and that's what you see with these boys that are, that are just out there doing all the crazy stuff that's going on, is they're just misguided and not given the opportunity to go through a purposeful rite of passage.

And you're absolutely right, and now more than ever, I know guys in our age group always say it so much, that like, it was just, it was so much easier back then. Mm hmm. Right? Pre internet, pre social media, pre cell phones. It was so much easier back then. Our youth today have a hell of an enemy that they, that's, that's coming after them.

I mean, you can't, you just can't get away from it. [00:39:00] And so today, more than ever, is it, is it important that guys like you and I are leading by example and not just leading by example, but constantly improving, constantly improving who we are as men so that we can lead even better and let's start leading other men and lead your kids.

It's the dads that are the ultimately the ones that make the decision to bring their son to an event like like y'all put on What did they what do you see them gain from that process when when they go through that the biggest thing that I realize? From the fathers is a sense of an awakening of sense of responsibility that they have They see, it's all of a sudden like, as if they are awakened to realizing what their role is, right?

Because a lot of these guys didn't even [00:40:00] have this, they didn't go through it, you know? And one of the things that we say when we're there is, you get two shots at a father and son relationship, two shots. Once as a son and you get another shot as a father. Mm hmm. God willing, hopefully, right? So we tell the young men that like you get one you get two shots once as the son this Relationship with you and your father you get this one Don't mess this one up and if you do or if he messes it up you get a second shot as a father Mm hmm, and I think that when fathers see this they see how they how they show up They see how they're leading their kid They realize the level of responsibility they have in their life to be that type of role model to be The guy who their son looks up to as the superhero Instead of some random dude on the screen that they don't know it doesn't you know, whatever Yeah Like the dad needs to be the hero the dad needs to be the [00:41:00] role model and then I think that's something that they start Realizing they're at Squire is how they communicate, how they show up.

What, what are they showing versus what are they telling? And that's a powerful thing. Yeah. That goes from them being either an, either a absentee father or a present father, and they leave being that intentional father. Intentional father is one who can equip his son and prepare him for the world versus just ushering him through.

adolescence and well, you're on, you're on your own. Hope it, hope it all works out. Yeah, I held your, I held your hand up until this point. You're on your own. That's not, that's not what it is, right? That's not, that's not the role. That's not the mission. Well, just, just the fact that you're able to wake men up and just give them the awareness.

Cause if you weren't like, so if, if you didn't grow up with it, if you've never seen it, you don't even know maybe that it exists. But then once you're aware of this, it's like, oh my gosh, there's this whole different side of fatherhood that. That I didn't even know about. Yeah, and, and the [00:42:00] same for me is, you know, I, I tell my girls that my, the girls, they even said it, they're like, Dimitri has a different dad than we had, like, yeah.

You had the first time trial dad, he's getting, he's getting a veteran dad, cause my girls are 22 and 18, and then my son's four. You know, so it's a different stage of life. I was in the military in special operations with them and, and so on. So plus the early through the transition of getting out. So anyways, they had a very different, they had a very different percept, different life than Dimitri has.

Plus, you know, back then we were broke and didn't have any money and all kinds of stuff. So yeah, So they laugh and I'm like, yeah, you got it. You got the trial dad. So I'm curious, you also coach men. So how do you, how can men wake up to this reality that, that growth is something that is constant, that has to, it has to continue all the way to the grave?

Like there, there's always [00:43:00] work to do to be the man that your family needs. And as soon as we stop. Doing that work, we start getting dull, we start getting soft, and, and that's when we create that gap that the world's able to come in and take advantage of. I think it goes, you have to go back before even, before even that.

Men. Not just men, all of us, had the wool pulled over our eyes. We've been programmed for a very long period of time that things are the way they are. Everything down from what LDL and HCL levels are, what's good food, what's bad food, the importance of school, the importance of, you know, listening to your, to doctors, listening to the government.

We have been programmed for a very, very long time to think a certain way. I was, one of our clients who's been with us for almost two years in the Agogi, he was like 300 pounds and he's, he's coming at 225 today. Um, actually 224 [00:44:00] this morning. He, we were having this conversation about, he was just cholesterol.

And he's like, man, we were just, he's like, we're just a bunch of sheep. He's like, we're just brainwashed and programmed. So for instance, you know, cholesterol was like at a level, like LDL was like 300. It used to be like 300. If you study when they dropped it to like 120. So they dropped the lab level of what's healthy to 120.

And then watch what Pfizer and Johnson and Johnson's cholesterol meds did at the same time. Took off. Eggs are bad. So the eggs that I give from my hen house, my chickens, are bad. But the cereal that you're selling is part of a balanced breakfast and I should just have a bowl of cereal. That's just going to spike my insulin.

Right. So why do we have more overweight people? So I can go down there, I can put the ten fold hat and go down the rabbit hole. But the point is, If you look at this, if you look at our system there, the medical system, [00:45:00] our food, our education system, it has been, everything has been in place to brainwash you and program you.

Rockefeller said it in the 20s when they start, when they, when they established the school system and they said, women go to work, you deserve to go, you know, feminist movement who was backed by them, paid for by them. Why? Why? So now you have two people paying taxes, two people working. Oh, who's going to watch your kids?

Don't worry, give them to us. We'll prepare your kids. We'll take care of your kids because they need this stuff. We need a nation of workers, not a nation of thinkers. So when you start taking all this back and you start questioning those things and you actually start thinking, you start, men start thinking for themselves, that's a dangerous thing.

And your eyes start to open up. And the biggest thing that, that happens right here now, this is where it comes down to, is a man must take personal responsibility for his and [00:46:00] theirs in their life. That's it. Everything positive or negative in your life is 100 percent on you. You're not a victim. You're the captain of your own ship.

You're the CEO of your own life. The buck stops with you. And when you start taking personal responsibility for everything around you, Whether it's your fault or not, it doesn't matter, it's your fault. That's when the awakening starts to happen. I mean, you worked with Kyle Carnahan, so I know exactly how that psychopath operates.

Yeah, he takes responsibility for everything. Everything. The way you show up, the way you communicate, when you walk through the door, how you treat your wife, how you speak to her, how you speak to your kid, all of it. It is your fucking fault, man. Yeah. And if things aren't good, guess what? It's your fault.

If things are good, it's your fault. No matter what. No matter what. And so when we start, when we start living this life of, of [00:47:00] extreme accountability to ourselves, things start to change. Are we, our brains, are we start, now we start thinking again, we start questioning. Why is this thing this the way that it is?

Is this what's the best interest for my kids? Is this what's best interest for my wife and my family? And then once you get your unit under control, then it's like, well, wait a minute. Now i'm concerned about my community. And then once you get that, once you build a community, and you got that, like, well, what about the state?

Now, now i'm worried about the country. But it starts with you in your home. Starts with you looking in the mirror. And the more clear you get, the more you see the things, and you know, I think it's Things that sedate us, I've heard you talk about, you know, alcohol on your, uh, on your podcast and not, not drinking, I've, I've gone about a year and a half now, just cut it out of my life and, and the more, the further away I get from that and the, the better I live and the more clear I get, it's like, Oh, I see these things just clear as day right in front of you.

Yeah, [00:48:00] I challenge, I think every man, every man needs to read, uh, Napoleon Hill's book, Outwitting the Devil. Have you listened to that one on audio? That's, that's the only way to do it. Okay. Yeah. Cause they got the devil's voice and all that. Yeah. The conversation back and forth. Yep. If you listen to that book and that doesn't wake you, which was written what, 120 years ago?

It was way before it's time. It's over a hundred years ago. Yeah. It was way back. So, it was so damning that his wife said there's no way you could, you could, uh, publish this book. Yeah. It was what, 70 years after it was written or something before they Check this out. So, he, she said that once he died, she would, she would publish it, and then she didn't.

She had to die, and then his, I think his, his either kids or grandkids, or the foundation, the Polino Foundation, actually published it. Yeah, that is wild. Because it was so damn, it was so damning to the government, the school system, and the church. Yeah. [00:49:00] The whole system. The whole system. He, like, uncovered how the system is taking control.

And if you read that, that's when, like, you'll start looking at any sort of little addiction that you have, how it's, how it's controlling you more than you think. Little things, too. Little things. Like you said, the more you get away from those things, the clear, the clearer you are about certain things. So it's interesting.

You start to just, like, even people go, I just drink every now and then. Stop drinking completely and watch what happens. dipping, nicotine, whatever, whatever the, you know, even caffeine, like just look at it and then watch when you, watch how clear your mind becomes and how, how clear your spirit becomes the, the farther you get away from that.

Kyle calls that putting it on the altar. Yeah. And just like pushing it away and see what happens. Yeah. Man, this is such a fun conversation. So men getting clear, like when someone starts to work with [00:50:00] you and you're taking them down this path, what's the first thing that you try to get them to do in order to start creating that clarity in their life?

Clarity on their, on their priorities, what their top priorities in life are. The things that really matter most to them. Because men, men are disconnected with what matters most to them and what they actually do. So the first thing that we're going to look at is, okay, what are your top four priorities in life?

And then let's look at your routine through the week, through the day, and for the week. And then I go, well, either you're prior, either you're lying to me, your priorities are not what they say they are, or your routine is jacked. And mainly what happens, men know what their priorities are. I mean, I almost can tell you what people's priorities are because I've done this with thousands of men and almost every single time if I write their four priorities on a board, they're the same, but then I look at their routine.

I'm like, well, this doesn't, this does not match what you're saying. Your priorities are. Do you know what I mean? And so that's, [00:51:00] that's where, that's the first thing that we start with. Is their priorities and their routine. Mm-Hmm. And we try to realign, we, we cut the fat off their body, but also cut the fat out of their schedule because men have so much fat in their schedule that they don't even realize it.

Yeah. Now, now you and I probably don't, like, I don't, I don't have, there's no fat in my schedule at all whatsoever. But that, but then again, I don't al I also don't do my schedule anymore. Right. You know, and my team knows. My team knows. Exactly. My team knows exactly what not to put on my schedule, you know, and I don't allow it.

Well, and you, you earn that by doing a lot of work to get there. And I think how many men it's like, Oh, I want that. I want to be able to have a, you know, complete control over my schedule and all that. You have to go through the process that you went through. You have to come into the agogi and you have to grind and you, we have to chip away at all the fat and we got to, and it's painful at first.

You did it. You went through the process. It's painful [00:52:00] when you come into on board. I mean, it's not going to be fun. I tell I always tell people I listen, I will morning you right now. How bad do you want this change? How bad do you want to be the version of the that that perfect version of you that you see yourself that you imagine yourself?

How bad do you want that guy? Because to become that person is going to be one of the hardest things you've ever done, and it's going to take a lot of sacrifice. So joining the Agogi will not make your life easier. It will make your life much harder. I'll tell you this. You'll never be more rewarded, you'll never be more fulfilled, and you'll never be happier than you've ever been in your entire life.

Well, you know, circling back to that, you know, you need a battle to fight. When that battle starts, I mean, it's just you. It's in here. Like, yeah, it's between your ears. That's right. The battle is not out there, it starts with you just being able, you're not going to be able to control some situation externally if you can't control the situation internally.

It's [00:53:00] the war between your ears. Man, I really appreciate you coming on today. Real quick, just so that our listeners can, uh, just kind of get an idea of, like, how they could get in touch with you and what your programs look like. I mean, there's so many things you do from, like, you know, being a, you know, business owner.

I mean, we didn't get into a lot of conversations, but I want to be respectful of your time. We could do this for four or five hours. Exactly, right? And so, as we kind of start, uh, bringing this thing to a close, what would you encourage men to, to do if they're listening to this and, and some piece of what you said all along the way, something's resonated with their heart?

Here's the deal. If you, if you look in the mirror and you go. And, you know, I'm a, I'm a little bit of a, keep in mind I'm a Marine, you know, I'm a little bit vulgar sometimes. But if you look in the mirror and you go, oh, fuck, and not fuck, yeah. And you look at your bank account and you're like, oh, fuck, [00:54:00] not fuck, yeah.

And you look at your, your relationship with your wife and you're like, oh, God, and not like fucking awesome. Then you need to get a hold of me. Mm hmm. And, The first thing that we're going to do is, what is that, like we talked about the priorities, but what is that version of you that looks like? And how important, how important is it to become that person?

And what does it cost you to not be that person? What is it going to cost your life, your wife, your kids? Because I've seen what happens with men when they're not their very best. What's it worth to you? Divorce? not having your, not having a relationship with your kids as they grow older? Are you not even being around at all whatsoever, depending on how bad things are?

What's the, what's the cost of inaction? What's the cost of you not being the version that you know you're supposed to be? So if anything resonated with you in this, He didn't get a hold of [00:55:00] me, get a hold of me. It's easy to get a hold. You could DM me on Instagram, Twitter, you know, whatever. Hell, you don't call my damn office.

Like, I want to talk to Nick. And you might not have initially gets me, but like, Hey, I heard him on a podcast. I want to get into his coaching community, message me. I'm easy to get a hold of, but you got to want it. Like I said, it won't be easy. It'll be the hardest thing you ever did, but damn, will it ever be?

These guys that have come out the other side, man, it's like, I mean, you know, you're on fire. You transform, you don't just change. No, you're a different human being.

And, um, so anyways, yeah, man, and, and you know what, this is, at this point in my life, like I should have been dead in Afghanistan or Iraq a long time ago. And, uh, the fact that I'm breathing here and I'm being, I'm successful at what I do outside of the, you know, like coaching is my passion, but I've got other businesses that I run that are super successful, you know, and I could just do that.

To be honest, [00:56:00] Franklin, my life would be so much easier if I didn't coach men. If I, if I didn't have the AGOGI and I focused on my other businesses. Dude, I would have the most carefree, easy life ever. Easier, more profitable, probably. Easy, more profit, that's right. More time and more time. Hell, it'd be, it'd be amazing.

But you know what? I learned in 2018, and it didn't really come to fruition until 2008, but I learned in 2018 My mission was, my mission was to inspire, educate, motivate others to live a healthier, successful life. That is my purpose on this earth. Yeah. And this chapter where I'm at in my life right now.

That's it. That's my mission. That is my mission. And if I can do that until God says it's time to change, well, that's where we're at. Well, that should inspire somebody to pick up the phone. So yeah, , we'll include all the, uh, all, all your contact info on the, uh, on the show notes. But Nick, man, this has been really, uh, really fun.

A pleasure to have you on [00:57:00] and, uh, appreciate you, you know, being willing to step into your mission and impact lives because that's what it takes. And you'll impact men who will grow and they'll be, they'll become that coach that they were looking for. Yeah. Right. And then they're going to be able to help and inspire men.

And then the way that. And then have a responsibility to do so. Yes, absolutely. And, you know, one day down the road, you look up 10, 20 years of this, all of a sudden, there's a whole country worth of men who know what it means to be men. That's right. That's right. Awesome, man. Well, I appreciate you very much.

And thank you for coming on. Thank you for what you do. And if you're listening to this, reach out to Nick. Kumalat Sose, I said that right, and get in touch with him. Thank you, sir.

If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe to the podcast, give us a rating and review, and share this episode with one man you know needs to hear this message. We want to encourage as many men as possible to show [00:58:00] up as the strong leaders, loving husbands, and intentional fathers their family deserves.

And until next time, be the man the world needs.