[00:00:00] Right now, the world needs great men who will stand up and lead with honor, serve with purpose and courageously fulfill their God given roles as husbands, fathers, leaders, and men. I'm your host, Franklin Swan, bringing you practical tools and powerful conversations you can use every day to build yourself into the man God is calling you to be.

This is the world needs men. Let's go. All right. Welcome back to the world needs men. I am your host, Franklin Swan, and today I'm talking about self respect. I struggled for a long time with a very low level of self confidence and, I don't know, someone looking from the outside might have thought, oh man, he's super confident.

Well, I wasn't confident. I was just compensating. I had figured out how to. [00:01:00] get into a leadership position to look confident. I had found ways to go and, and achieve certain things that, that gave me, that presented the illusion of self confidence. I, you know, would go complete a fitness challenge or, you know, I'd do something, but, but really it wasn't doing that from confidence.

It was just covering up a pretty big level of insecurity and lack of confidence. And where did that lack of confidence come from? Well, ultimately, it came from a very low level of self worth. For a lot of my life, and I still struggle with this today, like I still find like bits of this showing up in my life in different ways, but I just had a very low level of self worth, didn't see value in myself, didn't see, didn't see where I was worth much.

I had stories around how worthless I was, I had stories around being a failure, stories around being worthless, and those sabotaged a lot of areas of my life. And what that gets [00:02:00] to is like, if you don't have value in yourself, you're not going to have confidence. And a lot of our confidence comes back to our self worth, but ultimately, like, how do we begin to build the confidence?

How do we begin to build the self worth? I think it starts with a big dose of self respect. To start saying, okay, do I respect myself as a man? And we can say that we do, but the thing that proves that is if you look at how you treat yourself, how you talk to yourself. Like those two things right there.

will give us a very clear line of sight, and it's maybe not the things that you say out loud, but when I say, talk to yourself, what is going on inside your mind? How do you talk to yourself? Do you build yourself up in your mind, or do you rip yourself to the ground? Do you treat yourself well by training your body?

By fueling it properly? By [00:03:00] Resting it properly by giving your body what you need. Like, I think you can look at a lot of men and very quickly you can just look, tell by looking at them, what level of self respect they have for themselves. This is not a vanity thing. God gave you a body and a mind and a life.

And how often do we just degrade it? How often do we just treat it like a garbage disposal, right? Both with thoughts, with food, substance, the activities we choose, all of these things, right? So, it's hard to build a level of self worth if you're not acting in alignment with a life where you have self respect.

And why is self respect important? Well, one, it does build confidence. Two, If you want to be respected by other people, you've got to start respecting yourself. Like, people are going to treat you the way you treat yourself. And, and it's easy to have this victim mentality that says, Well, they're not, they're [00:04:00] not being respectful of me.

Or we get offended by what people say or, or they point something out. Or if they make a comment, we, we take offense to that. You know what? It's just reflecting what's going on inside of us. The reason that triggers us is not because of what they said. It's because of what we believe inside. And they hold a mirror up to that and they poke that, that wound in that spot that hurts.

And so it's not about other people respecting you, it's about respecting yourself. And a man whose level of self respect rises will naturally create an energy and a requirement of other people to respect him. And not even a requirement, it's just how they're going to start responding to him. And as his self respect grows, If they don't respect him, he's not going to care because he respects himself and he doesn't need other people's respect because he gives it to himself.

He's not a needy man looking for affirmation. He's not a needy man looking for other people to recognize and point out just how great he is. [00:05:00] You take two different men. One takes his shirt off, he's proud of what he sees. One takes his shirt off and he's ashamed of what he sees. This shows a level of self respect because self respect is very connected to self discipline.

Self discipline is how you build self respect. Discipline in what you eat. Discipline in how you train. Discipline in how you talk to yourself. And I had one of these down, and I was failing miserably at the other. I could train my body like no other. I could go and, and do a two hour workout, beat myself up, like in the gym, um, just lifting weights, running, doing all the stuff, right?

So I'm, I'm training my body, but I still wasn't feeling it right. I still was allowing myself to to eat junk that degraded my health. And then the biggest thing is I had the worst self talk. I would put myself up in the major leagues when it comes to how I spoke to myself. Men, if we don't have self respect, we're not going to have [00:06:00] confidence.

We're not going to have self worth. And that is going to find its way into the areas of our life that matter most, instead of showing up in your, in your time with God in a way that says, God, use me today. I'm ready. You're going to be showing up saying, God, why don't you fix my life? And you're going to be a victim and you're going to be putting the blame on him where he's going, Hey, I'm not the one making you eat the things you're eating and thinking the things you're thinking.

That's on you, but you're coming to me looking for me to fix your problems when you're the one who's created them. If you don't have self respect, you're going to have self loathing, and you're going to bring that into your family, into your wife and kids and your marriage. And that will undermine your relationship.

A man who has no self respect is not going to be able to lead a thriving, healthy business. He's always going to have to be proving, always have to be striving, and he's simply going to not be able to reach his full potential. [00:07:00] Self respect and taking care of yourself is not selfish. It is not self centered, and it is not self destructive.

When we build self respect, it is out of self interest. It is other centered, and it is self destructive. constructive internally. It's the complete opposite. When I have respect for myself, I actually have more respect for other people. When I respect myself, I don't need as much respect from other people because I'm confident in who I am.

When I have self respect, I build self worth. When I have self respect, I build a healthy mindset and a healthy body and a healthy relationship and a healthy business. It's all connected. And a lot of us were not taught or trained. the value of self respect. Even if we had great parents, we may have grown up with [00:08:00] this, this view of ourselves of being less than, of being worthless, of being a failure.

of always screwing it up. And man, is that destructive. I saw it rip my own life apart internally. Realize that if you lack self respect, you simply weren't taught how to value yourself, whether that was directly or indirectly. Could have been something a parent said or did, maybe something a teacher said or a friend or something that happened one day, like, and you learned and you, you gained this story that You're just not that important, that you're just not that valuable, that you're just not that worthy.

And I can tell you right now that that's the biggest lie the enemy wants you to believe. Because what if you were worth all of the respect in the world? What if you were worthy and priceless in that worthiness? Then you would be able to serve this world to your greatest potential and love other people well.

And that's what we're here for, [00:09:00] men. To love our families, to serve them, to provide for them. But we've, if we can't take care of ourselves, if we can't have self respect, it's like having broken down walls, right? If you have no respect for yourself, it's like having a broken down wall and anything and everything can come into that.

Someone offers you a beer and you say, yeah, why not? Someone offers you, you know, anything. And you're like, whatever. I don't have any walls. I don't have any boundaries. I don't have any self respect that says, no, that doesn't work for me in my life. So this is about boundaries as well. This is about discipline.

This is about taking a stand for who you are, what you believe in, what you want. This affects every area of your life. How you treat your body is a reflection of your self respect. How you treat your relationship with God and your purpose in life is a reflection of your self respect. How you treat your family, your wife and your [00:10:00] children, it's just a projection of how much you either respect yourself or not.

If you respect yourself, you're going to be a healthy man. And a healthy man gives respect to his wife, gives respect to his children. But an unhealthy man has low levels of self respect. And in that, he will project that onto his wife and kids. So this finds its way into your family. And then the same in business.

If you lack self respect, you're going to lack confidence. And instead of being able to lead people, you will manage people. Instead of having an abundant mindset in your business, you will have a scarcity mindset. And this will find its way into the most minute areas of your life. And you'll wonder why things aren't working.

And it's all because you simply don't have any respect for yourself. Another way to look at this is just go, what am I tolerating in my life? What am I tolerating in my body, [00:11:00] in my relationships, in my walk with God, in my business? And that all points back to a level of self respect. So let's make it practical.

Let's bring this thing. This is going to be a short episode. But I want it to punch hard. Number one, how can you begin to respect yourself and build a level of self respect? Well, number one, when you get to a gym and work out every day and follow a fitness training plan, you begin to build some discipline and you begin to build self respect.

It is really hard to be fat and overweight and have a deep level of self respect. It's just impossible. www. larryweaver. com And you don't have to have a six pack, but you need to train your body and you need to build this God given vessel that you've been blessed with and not let it just fall apart. So men, like, you want self respect?

Get in the gym. Number one. Every single day. [00:12:00] Work out. Train your body. And don't, like, you're 40 years old listening to this and you think that you're too old. Please, I am 42 and as fit as I've ever been. So all that is is a story and that reflects a level of self respect and self worth and self value that does not serve you.

So step number one, tool number one to build self respect is to get in the gym. The second, you build self respect when you build discipline about the food and the fuel that you put in your body. Are you putting junk in or are you putting healthy nutritious? Real food in your body. That's the second thing.

When I can train my body physically, and then when I can fuel my body properly, those two things begin to show a level of respect to myself. And they both are simple ways that you can begin to build this. Number three, how you talk to yourself. [00:13:00] If you're in the habit of tearing yourself down, of beating yourself up internally, of telling yourself all these stories, you have to begin to unwind that.

And the way, one of the ways I use is actually journaling this out. Journaling out, Franklin, here's what I value about you. Here's what I appreciate you. Here's what I respect about you. And over time, you will rewire your brain to begin seeing yourself. as a worthy, valuable human being, and you begin to respect yourself and how you talk to yourself.

And a lot of this comes down to simply self awareness. The next time you have that negative thought pop up about who you are, What you're capable of, like, catch yourself, realize every time you believe that thing or tell yourself that thing, it erodes who you are, and it adds to a level of self disrespect.

You would [00:14:00] never talk to someone that you respect the way you probably talk to yourself. I know this for me is so true, and that's why I can speak to it. I have been terrible in my mind to myself. And I never deserve that. And there's never anything good that can come out of it, so I've had to learn and retrain myself to speak positively to myself, to speak powerfully to myself, to speak to myself with a level of self respect the same way I would talk to anybody else in a respectful way.

So you're going to want to train your body. You're going to want to fuel your body. You're going to want to train your mind. on how to positively talk to yourself and then you're going to set commitments and you're going to stick to those. You build self respect when you set your alarm for 5 a. m. and you actually get up at 5 a.

m. You erode your level of self respect when you hit the snooze button. Anytime you [00:15:00] decide to do something difficult and you actually follow through with it, and that's the key. It's not that you decide to do something difficult, it's that you follow through with it. When you follow through with it, you build self respect because you respect yourself enough to follow through on your commitments.

If you won't commit to yourself, you're not going to commit to anybody else. You've got to train yourself in this. You've got to build this. Why do I get up at 5 o'clock in the morning? Because I respect myself as a man. Why do I give myself time in the morning to prepare for the day? Because of my level of self respect.

Why do I train and fuel my body properly? Because I respect myself too much to tolerate sloth and laziness and not getting what I want and achieving the goals and outcomes in life that I believe I deserve. I respect myself too much to give my family a sorry husband and father. I respect myself too much to give my team a poor leader.[00:16:00]

It starts with you. It starts with building this inside of yourself. And these are four very simple practical tools that you can use. So here's a little homework for you. Here's a little assignment. Don't do this while you're driving. Get out a journal. Get out a notebook. You know, what am I tolerating when it comes to the way I'm treating myself, What am I tolerating when it comes to how I'm talking to myself?

If you'll be honest about those two things and say, then, you know, what do I refuse to tolerate anymore in how I treat my body? What do I refuse to tolerate anymore when it comes to And you put a plan together and you decide, here's what time I'm going to get up every morning without fail, never hitting the snooze button, no matter what.

And here's how I'm going to train my body. And here's the fuel that I'm going to put in my body. And here's the way that I'm going to begin to learn to talk to myself. Because [00:17:00] I deserve to respect myself. My family deserves a man who respects himself. My team deserves a man who respects himself. If more men respected themselves, we probably wouldn't have the man issue that we have today.

But it starts with you and realizing how powerful this is and how meaningful it is for you to take a stand for yourself. Because you deserve this, your family deserves it, and you're worth it. And I can tell you, it is a miserable place to live in. Just a space where you just respect yourself so little. I mean, and even if you take that far enough where you hate yourself.

Because I can promise you, nothing good comes from a life. where you hate yourself. Self loathing is one of the darkest, deepest places that a man can find. So that's it, gentlemen. Like, do you respect yourself? Do the results that you've got in life to the, you know, when you stand there and look at yourself, are you proud or are [00:18:00] you ashamed?

You should be proud. You deserve to be proud. God did not put you here on this earth to be miserable. He put you here to thrive and to grow and to create, to add value into the lives of others. But. If you sit there with guilt, shame, and regret as you look at yourself in the mirror every single day, you're not going to be able to reach your full potential.

You will self sabotage, you will self destruct, and you just, you won't have what it takes. So you deserve it. You deserve to take the time to do the work that I outlined in this. Ask yourself, what am I tolerating in the way I treat my body? What am I tolerating in the way I talk to myself? And then you deserve, like you are worthy.

of prioritizing yourself so that you can build self respect. You're worthy of a gym membership. You're worthy of the investment in healthy food. You're worthy of the time to begin journaling [00:19:00] and begin training yourself to talk to yourself well. You're worthy and valuable enough to start making some commitments to yourself that you keep because you deserve to be respected just as I do.

But it starts with us respecting ourselves. As you go through the week, make this your aim to begin building your self respect through self discipline. And as you do that, you will begin to gain more self confidence. And as you gain self confidence, you will begin to deepen and develop your self worth.

And there is nothing more freeing and liberating than, than finding your place from a deep pit of self loathing to a place where you actually love the man that you see looking back at yourself back in the mirror. It is freeing and it is liberating. And you deserve it. The world needs men. Let's go.

If [00:20:00] you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe to the podcast, give us a rating and review, and share this episode with one man you know needs to hear this message. We want to encourage as many men as possible to show up as the strong leaders, loving husbands, and intentional fathers their family deserves.

And until next time, be the man the world needs.