Nick Long: your bank account is an
echo chamber to like what you are

putting out in the world energetically.

And what you're putting out into
the world energetically is a mirror

of who you are on the inside.

So tell me like, do you have,
do you have a higher power?

do you believe in God?

do you believe in the universe?

and some men will get very frustrated
in that initial part of the conversation

like, dude, I came to you to fix my money.

And I said, and that's the problem
'cause you're not listening and

trying to figure out the actual
source of your money problem.

And they go, what is it?

Typically I'll just take out my phone
and I'll reverse the camera and I'll

just show them their own reflection.

I go Look at that.

That is the number one
problem in your life.

That right there and whatever
the hell is going on in here

that I can't hear right now.

All of that is your problem.

Tell you're willing to fix that.

I got nothing for you.

Franklin Swann: Just a heads up for
listeners who may have kiddos around.

I want to give a fair warning that
my guest and I dive into some adult

conversation and topics today,
and that includes adult language.

So please keep that in mind for any
sensitive ears that may be listening.

And with that being said, enjoy the show.

Right now, the world needs great men who
will stand up and lead with honor, serve

with purpose, and courageously fulfill
their God-Given roles and responsibilities

as husbands, fathers, leaders, and
men, it's time we see more men thrive.

Marriages filled with passion
and families that flourish.

So whether you're a man struggling
to figure it all out, or an awesome

husband and dad looking for the next
level, you've come to the right place.

We are your hosts, Franklin Swann and
Tanner Hayes, bringing you practical,

applicable tools and strategies you
can use every day to build yourself

into the man God is calling you to be.

This is the world needs men.

Let's go.

Welcome back to the
World Needs Men podcast.

I am your host, Franklin Swann.

Today on with my friend, mentor,
former coach Nick Long, CEO,

and founder of the next 90.

A movement that helps take men
from entrepreneur to exit preneur.

I have no idea what that means.

He's gonna share that with us
today and enlighten all of us.

But.

An honor and a privilege.

This man is someone who, I connected
to during some very dark moments

in my life and who was able to turn
on a light in the night and, and be

someone that I could really lean on.

Someone who's done the work,
someone who has been in his own

dark spaces and found the way out.

And, someone that I'm honored
to call a friend and a brother.

Welcome

Nick Long: Oh man, can I, can I just fly
to Tyler, Texas, put you in a backpack

and just have you walk into every room
I go into and just do that introduction,

Franklin Swann: Gladly, gladly.

Nick Long: everybody would just be pulling
their credit cards out to, to pay me.

Franklin Swann: It's an honor, man.

This is just a very surreal moment
as you and I were just talking.

the fact that the first time I heard
your voice was on a podcast, and now here

you are, is one of my first guests, I.

On my own very own podcast a few years
later, and this is just a real privilege.

Nick Long: No, it's incredible, man,
that it gives me chills thinking

about it that, it was my podcast and I
didn't even know where Tyler Texas was.

And, a man, in a dark
spot listening to, I.

Another man talk about the dark spot
that he had been in and what he had done

to get out of it, which, like you said,
you described, flipped on the light in

the night and, I was in Europe at the
time, with the wife and this application

came through and I'm like, Tyler, Texas.

I had no idea that people were
even consuming the podcast, and

it was always my intent that if
I could just reach one person.

If I could just open my mouth, be
vulnerable enough through sharing my

paying pain and help another man divide
his, then it would've been worth the

time, energy, and money to do the podcast.

And man, I'm so glad I did, brother.

Because of course, like at
one point I was your mentor.

and now we're brothers, we're friends.

And I, if I did nothing else.

Stopped right there to call you,
my friend, to call you my brother,

and to have you there in that
dark moment when I needed you.

it was all worth it.

And then some.

Franklin Swann: Y you can intellectually
know about something like this, but until

you experience it, until you're in a dark
place, and then someone has the courage

to, to speak and to share where they are
and to share the journey that they've been

on and to just reach out and I don't wanna
say be a safe space, but be a beacon.

be that light in the night where
other men can rally around and realize

that they aren't alone, and that
there are other men out there who

are feeling what they're feeling.

and that just gives men so much hope.

And it gave me hope.

And there was just such a deep connection
to the words that you spoke on your

podcast that I really connected to.

And, it was one of the
foundational turning points in

my journey, out of my dark spot.

to find you and to find, just a man
who I could lean on and gain wisdom

and insight from, and someone who,
who wasn't gonna do the work for me,

but could support me and just come
alongside and be another brother.

Nick Long: Yeah, man, I, I've consumed,
I think almost all your episodes

and I'm just, I'm grinning ear to
ear, but it also looking in the rear

view mirror, in memory recall, I.

our conversations and some of our initial
conversations and, I gotta honor you

because, the Franklin Swann that's on
the Real Men Need Podcast, the host,

the creator of this podcast is not
the same Franklin Swann that, heard the

next 90 podcast and, reached out to me.

And for you to be as brave as you've
been, like sharing that extremely

dark place that you were in, publicly.

you, it was hard for you to share it
with me, as your kind of coach and

mentor at the time in a safe place.

But for you to stand, like in full
integrity as the man you are today,

having done all the work to get out of
that dark place, to, to have a marriage

that's on fire, to have a business
that's cranking, to have a body that's

in the best shape it's ever been in to
have relationships that are real and

raw and actually relevant to your life.

And for you to like just come
out with what you came out

with on your first episode.

I was like, oh shit,
the work has been done.

Franklin Swann: Yeah.

Nick Long: Let it be said.

Let it be.

So

Franklin Swann: I've said it.

Men who are willing to share their pain,
give other men permission to step in and

share theirs, and to begin the journey.

Journey of figuring out how to heal.

Nick Long: As, corny as it sounds
like we are just like all adult

child, all adult children that are
broken in some way and we're trying

to heal like those childhood wounds.

And then we're also trying to
transform that, that pain and that

trauma so that we don't transmit it.

To, to our children and to
the, to the next generation.

Was happening with ef and I know
that was a powerful moment for you

to just have that perspective, and
my journey was not so different

that, my son wasn't even here.

He was on the way and I was like, fuck.

Like, how am I going to raise like this.

Boy, to become a man when I don't
even know if I am one, and I don't

even know how to be one, and I
don't even know if I want to be one.

And that was like a sobering,
staggering moment of clarity of I

gotta make some changes in my life
because this shit ain't working out.

Franklin Swann: there's so much confusion
and it can feel so lonely and there's

not a lot of training and if one man
feels it, I believe another man does too.

There's just, it's,
there's a lot of pressure.

This modern world we live in makes
it a lot easier to check outta the

game, so to speak, and just not show
up and not be the husband father that

you need to be makes it far too easy.

but I think it can be really easy
for men to also not understand that

there are tools and there's work
that can be done where we can build

ourselves into the men, our families.

Desperately need our, us to be, and
when I started on this journey, I

didn't know that there were tools.

I didn't know that there were resources
and things that I could grab hold of.

And then, you and I have got a common,
bond through Warrior and, and through SEAL

Fit as we, we later found out those wild.

I found you because I had
found the Warrior Book and.

I had heard this, these rumors of
warrior trainers and so I just, I started

searching and I found you 'cause you
were, you'd been through that whole game.

You knew the tools and I was looking
for that kind of coaching and mentoring

and and then came to realize, wow,
there, there are these things in these

resources out there that are not readily
available that you gotta go search out,

but you can start filling up a toolbox.

Of these things that allow you to become
that man that is confident and courageous

and certain in his ability to step up
and be that father that his soon to be

son needs him to be and that his wife
is desperately looking at him to be.

And other men can join
you in that journey.

You can lock arms and
just step into the fray.

the work doesn't get easy.

Life doesn't get easier.

But when you've got the tools and when
you've built yourself into a man of

with capacity, then you can navigate
those dark moments and you can turn

on the light in the night as we've

Nick Long: Yeah, there,
there's no blueprint, right?

men like you and I and Gary J.

White and other guys, we're starting
to, build our version of the blueprint

and now, take the, the science of
quote unquote being man and put

our own art on top of it, right?

'cause your story's uniquely
different than mine, and mine's

uniquely different than yours.

But there is no blueprint.

Our fathers just handed us some
distillation and adaptation

of whatever their father did.

And and as, as hard as they didn't want
to be like, or as hard as they were, to

not be like their father as much as they
didn't want to be maybe like their father.

Like you're fighting a subconscious game.

Your subconscious is
95% of the fight, right?

Your conscious is five.

So who's gonna win 95 or five?

Like sometimes the five wins, but more
often than not, the 95 wins and you

don't even know what's going on, right?

And so my dad, he was a great man.

Like he was a really great
man, but man, he was a man.

And he wa and he was imperfect.

he was short-tempered.

And, he was doing the best he
fucking could with the lack

of tools that, that he had.

he had four kids stay at
home, wife, on a fixed income.

I'm surprised the dude
didn't go awol, at all.

I now sitting back at 44 years old,
being a father and now having lost my

father and my dad was a marathon runner,
and I know that his running was quite

literally him running from all the
things that were happening in his life.

he was running after work because he
didn't, he was running from home, like he

didn't want to walk in that front door.

And be overwhelmed with four kids
and trying to make ends meet.

And like all of us just
inundating him, with our energy.

He was probably exhausted and
so he, he would go on these

literally marathon long runs.

And I think that's the only thing
that kept him sane because as you

described, he didn't have another man.

'cause he was taught that if he
had a vulnerable conversation

with the man, he was weak.

And at that time.

Like the, you stuffed your feelings, and
these men just became volcanic in nature.

And it's no wonder my dad was
explosive and had a short temper.

He didn't have someone like a, you, he
didn't have a real, the world Need Men

podcast to listen to and understand that
what was happening in his heart and his

mind was okay, it was normal, but what is
not okay is not doing something about it.

Franklin Swann: the worst thing we
can do is just shove all that down

and that's what I did for years.

I didn't have the skill and the
ability and the understanding

of how you process that out.

And especially for men.

I think that women are much better
at that than we are, naturally

and just, and socially acceptable.

But how many men walk around feeling like
if they share anything, there's so much

guilt, shame, and labeling around that.

And even me, this has been
like tremendously difficult

to step out and to share.

but I'm, I know that I'm not the
only one feeling these things.

and then I look back to men like
you who were sharing at the time.

It's if Nick hadn't stepped out there,
I would've never heard what I needed to

hear and found my way, the way I did.

And so now it becomes my responsibility
to pass that along and to be the

one to step out there and to share.

And because there's men who
are gonna connect with me and

we connect on stories, right?

that's, that is how we, we
connect, how we differentiate,

how we just present ourselves as
real human beings, as real men.

And it's not the f faade.

It's not the, The perfect
picture that we try to present.

It's in our brokenness, in our
realness, and in our just imperfections

that we really are able to connect.

I didn't connect with you
because you were perfect.

I connected with you because you
were very willing to be imperfect.

I.

Nick Long: Yep.

Yeah.

and that's the whole thing.

And like you, you hit a
couple of like veins there.

Like it's, they're not our gifts to keep,
like they're our gifts to, to give away.

We, we have a fiduciary like to open up
our mouth because like there, there is

a message inside of everybody and like
we become a messenger to like the people

that are called to, to hear it from us.

I was a student of

Garrett J White and he
had, he was going through.

A similar but different path.

He had the courage to open his mouth,
which like led me into this community.

And the crazy thing is with what I
saw this very alpha, navy seal punch

you in the face type, community.

I was like, oh, that's what I need.

I was an NCAA wrestler and I
felt like a drift and I felt

like I lost a brotherhood.

I felt like I lost a
fraternity, after all that.

And I didn't have a group of guys
that I could just collide with

and get that primal energy out.

And so it, what drew me in was
actually like the alphas of this group.

Little did I know that there was
this tender part of it, of, and

vulnerability that was a weapon
that would cut right to my core.

Expose, like all the wounds that I didn't
even know were there and many that I did.

And then I was looking around and
these really powerful men were

talking about shit that was going
on in their mind, like that they can

only hear and a lot of shit that they
didn't even share with their wives.

And I was like, whew.

Like I'm not crazy.

I'm not crazy.

and that was such, just that thought,
just that paradigm shift of thinking

of I'm not alone unless I choose to be.

that was like one of the
biggest, shifts towards healing.

And I'm so grateful.

I'm so grateful that I found that
video and it was actually another

man that shared that video with me.

So this whole thing is this daisy
chained butterfly compounding

effect of just men still being men.

don't get me wrong, meet me
outside in the street fight.

I'm fine, but like I can also, I'm also
man enough to admit when I'm wrong.

I'm also a man enough
to admit when I'm hurt.

I'm also a man enough to admit
when I need help, and I think

that man, that modern man.

Is the men and the group of men
that can change this country and

get it back to where it needs to be.

Franklin Swann: the men who you typically
work with and the men who find you and

seek you out, are typically not showing up
on your door with everything figured out.

Nick Long: No.

Franklin Swann: and what I'm sure you
see quite often is they show up thinking

I just need to get my business on point.

Nick Long: Oh,

Franklin Swann: and if I just got, yeah,
if I just got the business right, then

everything else would fall into place.

but speak to what as a leader of men,
as a coach, as a mentor and trainer.

when men show up on your doorstep thinking
they need one thing and you can, because

you've done the work, see through.

To what they really need.

and talk about the journey of really
helping men restore order to their lives

and then everything from there just
falls into place, but it starts with

getting the man healthy, physically,
mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and

what that looks like and what you've

Nick Long: Yeah, so typically
like everybody, and it's, it's not

even just a man or a man thing.

It's, and it's not just a man or
woman thing, it's a humanity thing.

We have this story and we have this
ideology that If I fix my money, then

I will, and you can fill in the blank.

When I make X then I will get y right?

when I make a hundred thousand
dollars a year, then you know,

like my wife will get off my ass.

Then we'll take the vacation.

Then I'll have the time to work out.

then, and they have this fixation
on fixing their finances, but

they, all your finances are.

Or a measuring stick of how you
think, how you act, and then

you know your daily disciplines.

And so a lot of guys will come to me
because, I've done well in business.

I've built multiple eight
figure businesses, I've done

over 600 million in revenue.

I've exited, which means
I've sold three businesses.

I've certainly run
businesses into the ground.

I've employed thousands of people
and and then I've been coaching,

even though I don't like that word.

I just, I feel like a guide.

I feel like apa, I feel like a steward.

I'm gonna make up a word.

I don't know.

I don't have it yet, but, and
then they see me as this coach

and they're like, okay, coach me.

help me fix my business.

I'm like, okay.

tell me about your
relationship with your wife.

what does that gotta do with anything?

I don't know, man.

I'm looking at you like you're
probably 25 pounds overweight.

what does that gotta do with anything?

If I sat down with your kids,
what would they say about you?

dude, I didn't come to you, bro.

You're not my therapist.

I want you to fix my bank account.

And I'm like, your bank account is
an echo chamber to like what you are

putting out in the world energetically.

And what you're putting out into
the world energetically is a mirror

of who you are on the inside.

So tell me like, do you have,
do you have a higher power?

do you believe in God?

do you believe in the universe?

and some men will get very frustrated
in that initial part of the conversation

like, dude, I came to you to fix my money.

And I said, and that's the problem
'cause you're not listening and

trying to figure out the actual
source of your money problem.

And they go, what is it?

Typically I'll just take out my phone
and I'll reverse the camera and I'll

just show them their own reflection.

I go Look at that.

That is the number one
problem in your life.

That right there and whatever
the hell is going on in here

that I can't hear right now.

All of that is your problem.

Tell you're willing to fix that.

I got nothing for you.

No marketing scheme, no script, no.

like new way of getting customers.

He's gonna fix that because I
might be able to help get you to

where you're not broke, but you're
still gonna be very much broken.

And that to me is the utmost failure.

Why?

Because I experienced that.

I experienced that like in my
twenties, my late twenties.

I was making money hand over
fish, and I was miserable.

So I often have to lead.

It's like a, it's like putting
bait in the water, right?

You often have to lead with the thing that
they, the thing you think they want, and

then you give them exactly what they need.

I think you were a unique situation
because I think you wanted business help.

I think you felt like overwhelmed
from a business perspective, but I

think you actually were feeling that
visceral pain that I'm describing that

you didn't want to experience anymore.

And and I think by just a series
of consumption of another man being

vulnerable, gave you permission
to be like, can you help me?

And the short answer to that
is, no, I can't, I can help

you because I'm not a savior.

I like there is only one.

And he was crucified.

So we didn't have to be.

I like I, and Lord knows I've put
myself on the cross several times and I

always ended up crucified as a result.

And so like a man has to be willing to
take a long, hard look in the mirror and

be radically honest with him himself.

Understand that everything in his
life, or the lack thereof, is a

reflection of what he's done and the
way he thinks, and the way he acts,

and the way he operates, period.

The fucking end.

that's it.

But the good news is.

For my men out there that are like
that, you're the number one problem.

Therefore you're the only solution.

Hallelujah.

Like how awesome is that
we are the solution?

It's not any pill.

It's not any course.

It's not any single person other than us.

that is so freeing when you
understand holy crap, I can fix this.

I have the power to do Why?

Because I'm the one that
created it in the first place.

Franklin Swann: I'm the common denominator
of every bad decision I've ever made.

Nick Long: A

Franklin Swann: I'm the common
denominator of every result, good

and bad I've ever experienced.

Nick Long: A hundred percent.

Franklin Swann: and it is
that looking in the mirror.

'cause it's so easy to be a victim, to
believe that it's a business problem.

It's my wife's problem.

It's the kids that are the problem.

it's the government, the president,
the economy, the industry, on and on.

When the reality is you just
need to go look in the mirror.

And just, and not just take a glance,
but give yourself some time to just sit

Nick Long: Yeah, it's

Franklin Swann: look in that
mirror and get uncomfortable

with looking at yourself.

And, we can talk about blackout and
in the event you took me through

at the end of my, first 90 days of
coaching with you, but that moment

we're on the beach and having this,
this evolution, this experience.

and you just held up this mirror to me,
and I'll never forget that moment, and you

said,

Nick Long: you were fighting that man.

Franklin Swann: oh.

Nick Long: Like you, you were, you
were fighting that man, like both at

a conscious and a subconscious level
instead of for fighting for that man.

You were fighting that man
instead of fighting for that man.

And that's what most men are doing.

they're fighting like they're
fighting themselves instead of for

fighting, for and actually having
some compassion and grace like in

the process and being like, all right
man, I'm tired of feeling this way.

I'm tired of fighting myself.

I'm now gonna fight for myself.

And I remember that moment 'cause
we're like, you were a beast.

like you, you've always been
in great shape and you've got

that sick, little mental thing.

It's this guy just loves to be tortured.

So we're like, how the, like how
are we gonna break this dude?

you were carrying the other dudes down
the beach and you wanted all the sandbags

and all those things and we're like.

Let's just show him himself.

And in that moment where we were
getting very aggressive, quite

physically with other men, which
is what it takes sometimes with

you, is on, it was the opposite.

That aggression, you would've
just kept fighting that aggression

'cause you felt like there was this
aggressor that was outside of you.

And so I said, let's just, let's
get a mirror and let's hold it up.

And when you came and we, and
grabbed you by the collar, you

were leaning in for the aggression.

And I just held up a mirror
right in front of your face.

I said, why are you fighting this guy?

Like why dude, why are
you fighting this guy?

Like, why didn't you
start fighting for him?

And I remember like the big strong
man, little upper lip starts

quivering the bottom, qui lip starts
quivering because that little boy

inside was finally starting to heal.

'cause we were able to reveal
that's all that was in there was

just like, like a hurt child that
like, like the crazy thing is.

that hurt child inside of us needs us,
the man that we are today, to rescue him.

Franklin Swann: There is nothing
that could be more true than that

statement right there and there.

I think that's a really hard
thing for most men to even, I.

Here or consider or want to even, believe
could be the remotest possibility.

But it is true.

It is that version of you today that has
to go back and free that, that younger

version of you that is still stuck.

And I'll never forget turning around
and seeing that mirror and hearing

your voice and the words of just.

Quit fighting yourself and
start fighting for your family.

and I was just fighting myself
and I didn't even recognize that.

And I think that's something that men do.

we put no value in ourselves.

we treat ourselves very poorly sometimes.

And in the, in.

And we don't have compassion.

We don't have grace for ourselves.

and you look up one day and you don't even
realize that the war you've been fighting

has just been a war against yourself.

Nick Long: war.

It's a civil war division, like
in separation from what you were

actually called and designed to be.

It's a all, every war that we're
having is a civil war, like between

ourself and our true purpose and like
what we're actually really capable of.

it's crazy for me, not having
my dad anymore, and being

like, okay, You're on your own.

not that there was ever training
wheels, but you kinda always have

your dad to just lean back on.

And, that old wise out to,
to give you the sage advice.

And my son now, he's
gonna be eight, next week.

And like he's around the age where shit
started to get real confusing for me.

at that age.

I just didn't understand, like
why my dad could act and behave

a certain way towards me.

you're just a little kid.

I never understood, like, when people
were like, don't cry over spilled milk.

I'm like, shit, I always
cried over spilled milk.

'cause if I spilled the milk, you
better believe I was gonna get

smacked than I was gonna be crying.

and it's like little petty shit.

And And it's it's it, it gets
me emotional 'cause it's like.

I know that he's not gonna have
the same fucking wounds that I had.

He's not, he'll have some, and I'll
give him some because I ain't perfect.

But he ain't gonna have the same
deep cutting ones that I had.

And I hope to God he doesn't
have to go through the journey of

self-reflection that I went through.

'cause it was a gut-wrenching one,

Franklin Swann: I think both both of us
have this, desire that, of course our

sons are just so much better than we are.

Then hopefully their sons are better
than them, and it's a matter of changing

the trajectory, and shifting that.

but that's hard.

I, a piece of me wishes I would've
never found my way into that dark space.

but a piece of me is also very grateful
because it was the catalyst and the

spark for who I've become today.

Nick Long: Right.

Franklin Swann: I wouldn't have had
the ability and the capacity to step

in and have conversations like this
and be a voice for other men who are

in that same space that I was in.

and the same for you.

Nick Long: Yeah, likewise.

and if I had to go into those dark
caverns, if I had to go into the,

that, that pit so that he just gets
to glance into the mouth of the cave,

And I'm like, don't go down there.

daddy's already been
there, don't do that son.

Then so be it.

So be it.

and I own it.

and I wear it.

And, it's been really cool this season of
life, knowing that he was the catalyst,

like when Nicole was pregnant with him.

And, and I was, and that was the
catalyst to I gotta figure this out.

And then the journey that I've been on
since, and then now he's in this new

season where he's really starting to
understand and he's asking really Great

questions and he's screwing up too.

And, to be able to sit down and
have those conversations with him,

I is, it's been like one of the most
cathartic seasons of my life, and

especially not having, knowing that
my dad has gone, it's been crazy easy.

Franklin Swann: One of the greatest
gifts I've hopefully been able to give

you is you poured into me for so long.

Just we're able to listen and to
just have, give me brotherly love.

And then one morning I'm up early
doing my work and my phone rings.

I hear you.

On the other end, you say He's gone.

He's gone.

It just crushed my heart.

But one of my most proud moments
is having the opportunity and the

honor of being there for another
man who was there so much for me.

Nick Long: I won't forget

that.

and I talked about it at Warrior Con
four from stage, like it, of all things

like it, it didn't make sense to, I.

To call like a quote unquote, students,
but at that point we had transcended that.

But still like I, I remember
driving, I left the hospital after

I saw my dad at least his body.

he was gone already, but I saw
him and I'm like, fuck dude.

And I had to go home and
tell my daughter and my son.

I'm like, damn it, dude.

I don't wanna go through this.

Like I shouldn't be going through this.

we just saw him like six days ago
and he promised that he was gonna

be at my daughter's birthday.

I shouldn't be going through this.

and my daughter's name is
Nevin and his name is Kevin.

And they had this kindred spirit
and my son was close to him.

And so I was like, fuck,
what am I gonna do?

And I was like, I'm
just gonna go for a run.

I'm gonna go for a run.

And and as I was running,
I was like, I need someone.

I can't do this.

And it was early, and I
was like, who can I call?

And like, your name came, like out of
all the numbers in my phone, I actually

know how many numbers I have in my phone.

I have 1,638 because I just
exported my contacts the other

day to do some prospecting.

But I have 1,638 people in my phone.

It's like this one, the voice came
to me and said, call Franklin.

I was like, that doesn't make sense.

but I knew you'd be up and I knew
that you're a God-fearing man.

I knew that like the relationship
that you have with, your father

and I just had just, I don't even
know, I didn't even think about it.

I just called and you picked up on the
first ring and like you held so much space

for me and I screaming and yelling as I
ran down the boardwalk in Newport Beach.

he's gone.

He is gone.

and I don't even know what you said,
I just know that you were there.

you didn't get off the phone with me
until like I was ready to get off the

phone and I don't even know how many
miles I put down, but I put down some

serious miles and having you there in
that moment, like that to me was the

reason why like God brought us together.

Forget all the transactional things and
the monetary things and the millions

you've made as a result, and the
millions I've made since it was that

moment that was worth all the sacrifice,
like all the deposits, to be able to

go and take that massive withdrawal
in that moment like was powerful.

And I think equally and you'd have
to tell me it was empowering for you.

To be like, you know what?

Maybe there is something more
to Franklin Swann than being the

fifth generation furniture guy.

Franklin Swann: There's no doubt.

Nick Long: and I'll never forget, and
I think men need to hear this was like

running down that beach, And then after
you and I got off the phone and you know

the story, but I got off that phone and
I just kept going and going and going

and, I collapsed like at some point on
the boardwalk on the beach, and I'm.

Punching the cement and snot
bubbles coming outta my,

this is three years later.

You can imagine what it was like,
30 minutes fresh and, and I sat

there and I was just like, come on.

I can't do this.

I can't do this.

My, my business had been devastated.

like a year prior, I got back on my
feet, COVID hit, got wiped out again.

and I'm like, on the eve of launching
like my biggest thing ever, and

I'm like, like I cannot take this.

I can't do it.

I can't go home and tell these
children like, I don't want, like

I, I didn't sign up for this, and
I'm screaming and I'm cursing and.

And I felt like this warmth, on my back.

and it felt and this was when I
started, it was the middle of the night.

it was still early for you
'cause you get up early.

But it was middle of the night
for me, and I feel this warmth on

my back and I'm like, oh my gosh.

I feel this presence.

I almost it was weird, like this
uncanny thing of I think my dad's

here or I think someone's here,
someone's here to like to save me.

Someone's here to save me.

And I turned around and much to my
chagrin, but exactly what I needed.

All it was I was out so long that
the sun had come up over the coastal

hills and was shining down on me.

And it was like this quite
literal metaphor that was

like you were the rising sun.

Like son, you must rise.

do not stay in this position
of feeling sorry for yourself.

you must rise like there is a
light inside of you that is gonna

help dark inside of other people.

there's a light inside of you that
will be bright enough to carry your

children through this dark moment.

To carry your wife through
this dark moment, to carry your

bob through this dark moment.

like you don't have a choice.

The sun just rises.

Like you don't have a choice.

And when the sun does rise, it
always extinguishes the night.

It was also like, you're my rising
son, SON like, son, I'm gone.

I'm gone.

you need to rise.

And like from that day, like I've just
made a commitment to, to rise every day.

Just when, even when I don't want to.

And I'd love to tell you that
it's been perfect and I just.

I eat nails and I shut out,
like fully built, complexes.

But that's not the, that's not the case.

Like I'm a fucking building that
has scaffolding on it at all times.

Maybe someday we'll pull down the
scaffolding and reveal the masterpiece,

but like I just constantly just do work.

But in that moment, in that time, between
having a brother that held space for me.

That didn't judge me, that didn't
think I was weak, that didn't

think I was, like losing it.

In fact was, could see that I was just
gaining strength through what I had lost.

Like in that moment with the rising
son, gave me the courage to go home

and sit in front of my two children and
baw like a baby until I lost my daddy.

But it was like, I know to this
day my kids still remember it.

Franklin Swann: I can tell you, you
gave your kids be for them to be

able to see their father crushed
like that and having the courage

to, to show it in front of them.

I remember when my grandmother died and I.

I was walking through my grandparents'
house and my grandfather was a very

stoic, never showed pain, um, just
really kept it all bottled inside.

and I walked past his, bedroom and I see
him sitting on his bed and he started

to, the tears started to come and he
very quickly choked all that back.

Nick Long: Yeah.

Franklin Swann: That moment's
always stuck with me.

He carried that pain with him
that he couldn't and wouldn't

let anyone else in the world see.

And when you show that real
emotion from your kids, you

show them something real and

Nick Long: and there's the, there's
a genuine connection that happens.

There's a genuine connection that happens
through vulnerability that can only happen

through utter and raw vulnerability.

there's a connection to you and
I that will always be there.

we don't always talk.

but like when we do, we, it's
two brothers seeing each other.

'cause that's, even though we're not
by blood, we've been bound by it,

Franklin Swann: I've come to
realize lately that if you can't

get that emotion out, then you deny
yourself the opportunity to heal.

Nick Long: the motion's
gonna come out somewhere.

The emotion is gonna come out somewhere.

It's gonna come out and.

In the form of sedation, it's gonna
come out in the form of procrastination.

It's gonna come out in the form of
like multiple negative things that,

that you don't necessarily want.

So you might as well let it out.

and I still have it, like I
could talk there, there's times

I could talk about my dad and, be
blank face like I am right now.

But there's.

Probably something here because
of where you were there.

So seeing you and having this
conversation is viscerally

bringing me back in, but it's also
bringing me back in for a reason.

It's bringing me back in for a reason
and a teaching lesson, And I wish

my dad had a man that he could go
to because he probably wouldn't have

done some of the shit that he did.

and he was a great man.

He was a great man.

Like fucking people love my
father and I love my father.

And I, but I never equally
feared nor loved a man more.

It was the craziest dichotomy.

And here's the whole thing with
the gold that my father gave me,

he gave me a lot of dirt because
you cannot prospect gold without

scooping up a hell of a lot of dirt.

And even though I've got some
nuggets, man, I look like pigpen

holding, a gold chain like a.

I, I want it to be the other
way around for my children.

I want them to be hanging on like pearls
of gold and wisdom with just a little

bit of dirt, a little bit of soot.

I don't want 'em to have it too easy.

I want them to have get, have some
grit, But I wanna shift gears a little

bit and tie it all in, because like you
talked about the mirror moment, right?

And you talked about fighting and you
talked about rising, but it didn't

actually really anchor in for you.

Because there is that connection
and that vulnerability, but then

there's that raw fricking man
that needs to come to the surface.

You can't be some, wallflower
patty cake, give a dog a bone like.

and not be a man like you could be both.

And so part of this blackout experiences
experience for your listeners that a lot

of people don't know what blackout is.

We, it was a graduation event.

It was a rite of passage
at the end of a, a next 90.

So you would manufacture your next 90,
which was targets across, your body

or being your balance, your business.

And then it would end with this thing
called a blackout, which the only way I

can describe the blackout is like Tony
Robbins, the Navy Seal, Dalai Lama.

Joel ete, Joel ote and Fight Club got
together and had a bastard love child.

that's what it was.

And it was this crazy 48 hour experience
with sleep deprivation and, water

torture and all sorts of stuff.

A lot of spiritual stuff.

But there, there's a particular part
in blackout and, we can't talk about it

all, but it's called the Brodown, where
we literally put on gloves and we fight.

Like a lot of men like just continue
to get punched in the face by life,

punched in the face by other people's
dogma and they're unwilling to fight.

So I say, you know what?

I'm gonna bring the fight to you.

And I put them into a ring, I put them,
we got headgear, we got everything.

And here's Franklin.

I.

his six pack muscle bound dude,
and he's coming around and he's

hitting the gloves very gingerly.

And I'm like watching him.

I'm like, this motherfucker does,
he wants to fight himself, but he

doesn't wanna fight for, he doesn't
wanna fight for, and he came around.

I told Coach Garrett Bacon.

I'm like, watch this.

And you came around that third
time and I fucking grabbed you

and I threw you on the ground.

I start punching you and then
I say, you better punch me.

and you're not doing it.

And I punch you, guy, you better punch
me and I punch you a little bit harder.

And then all of a sudden there it was.

That the man in the mirror that was
fighting himself started realizing, oh

my gosh, I need to fight for myself, and
you overtook me in a matter of seconds

and started beating the shit out of me.

And luckily I'm the coach, so I gotta
say, when we were gonna stop, I was stop.

And that same grin that you have right
now is the same one that you had and you

had this like grimace look of darkness
on your face, but the moment you flipped

the switch, instead of for fighting
yourself, you started fighting four.

It was like this weight came off
your shoulders, this light that's

illuminating from you right now came out.

And I was like, there he is.

That's the motherfucker that's
gonna steamroll everybody.

Do you remember that?

Franklin Swann: I remember that real well.

I think I broke your toe.

Nick Long: Oh, you did break my toe.

Yeah, I got a weird toe.

'cause of you now.

Franklin Swann: the thing is, I'm not
unique in that every man's got that piece

of them that they're hiding inside, or
they know, they might not even realize

it's there because they've ignored it and
suppressed it for so long, and we just

have to wake that part of ourselves up.

But it took you slapping
me around and knocking

Nick Long: Physically,

Franklin Swann: Yeah, it really took you
knocking me around for me to realize that

and, 'cause otherwise we're just going
through the day, going through the motions

and we've been beat up for so long.

Whether it's the world beating us up
or us beating up ourselves, literally

or metaphorically, and we're just numb

Nick Long: Yeah.

Franklin Swann: There's, and men just
need to be jolted awake sometimes

and out of their stupor and out of
their habits and routines that just

have got them stuck where they are.

And then I had the gift of you
coming along and waking me up.

Nick Long: Yeah, that little
love tap, little lovey love.

It's brotherly.

We call it brotherly love.

I said, some of this shit's gonna
hurt, but I promise you it's gonna heal

right.

Franklin Swann: I think, Paul said
that, my eyes changed or something.

Nick Long: No, they did,
I still have the picture.

I should probably dig it up.

Like you looked possessed, like
going in there and then you

looked, almost angelic afterwards.

Like it was the craziest thing.

Like it shifted and it shifted
everything, in, in inside of you.

And, that's what this
whole thing is about.

And what you're doing in this
podcast, like this podcast is

going to serve like countless men.

But if there's one Franklin Swann
out there that you know, you're able

to help, like it'll be all worth it.

it'll all be worth it.

If there's a moment where a man needs to
lean in and he's in his darkest spot like

I was when I called you, it's worth it.

Like it's worth it.

That's what people don't realize.

It's yes, It.

do I make money with this abs?

Absolutely.

But it's like impact over income, and I
will make even more money, but it's not

because, I want more like material shit.

I want a life of material value.

and fortunately or
unfortunately, money matters.

Your ability to produce as a man matters
because you can impact more people.

You can only buy one WA, or
you can only wear one watch.

you could wear more, you look stupid.

You can only drive one
car at the same time.

You can only fly on one private jet.

You can only, float on one boat.

you could probably have multiple women,
but even that's fuck complicated.

Like it's about taking that
money and building a movement

and creating what I call.

Ev.

that's what the exit preneur, movement
is about getting entrepreneurs into

a business and getting them out of a
business and ringing the register and

creating a massive liquidity moment
for themselves as they build the

ultimate exit, which is when they die.

'cause we are going to what
will your life have stood for?

Like I was telling Michael, what,
who were you called to lead?

What did you, how did you live
and what did you leave behind in?

In both material, like monetary
capital, that can take care of

a lot of financial problems.

And then like mental ip, emotional wealth.

This podcast, this episode that
my kids may dig up someday.

And listen to long after I'm gone and be
able to hear my voice and hear like how

much I actually gave a shit about them,
even though I wasn't perfect, or my wife,

that can hear this and go, God, I don't
even understand them at that level because

it's impossible for her to, and that's
what men need to realize is that when

they get radically honest with themselves,
what I call iv, which is impetus veritas,

it's a Latin phrase for merciless truth.

When they get radically honest themselves,
they're willing to look in the mirror and

say, am I in alignment with my assignment?

I don't care what you believe.

I do, but I don't like
believe in something.

Believe in yourself.

But are you aligned with your
design and are you doing the other

iv, which is interpersonal value?

imagine like an IV going into your arm.

Are you putting like effort
into yourself every day?

Are you creating ev,
which is enterprise value?

are you building an enterprise, like
a monetary enterprise that matters on

your way to your ultimate ev, which is
eternal value, your final resting place?

there's a dash in between the
time we were born and the time

that we were die, that we die.

Like it's only this big, but those
that see it know how monumental it is.

If you lived a life of material value,

Franklin Swann: I believe that, we
are created in the image of God and

one of the most profound natures
of God is that he's a creator.

Nick Long: right?

Franklin Swann: And in that,
in that spirit, I believe

that men have the opportunity.

All humans have the opportunity, but
men is who I talk to and speak to.

We have the opportunity in this life to
be high value men that create value in

the world, that impacts other people.

It impacts our families, our communities,
our businesses, our friends, and

then people that we may never know.

And, we all have this opportunity to
raise that to, to invest in ourselves

and to grow our capacity and who we
are as men in order to create more

value in this world for other people.

Nick Long: One of the virtues
that my, my father taught me that

came from his father likely came,
leave it better than you found it.

Leave it better than you found it.

Like when we went camping, his
boy scouts, or, grab something

out of his tool shed or some shit.

Hey, leave it better
than you found it, son.

Ah.

Fuck off.

But like now as I've
gotten older, I'm like.

I wanna leave this better than I found it.

that's it.

That's it.

I, I have faith that something
happens when we die, but who knows?

But if I could make an impact here and
leave it better than I found it, job well

done, my good and faithful servant, right?

And so that's what I'm shooting down.

It take took me a lot of time, took me
a lot of money, took me a lot of pain.

It took me a lot of perspective
and it took me a lot of powerful

conversations with men just
like you and not just like you.

you as the man, I see that I haven't
quite figured it out, but I sure as shit

am way better than I was having not known
you and having not had that conversation.

Franklin Swann: Appreciate that.

So if there's a man listening
to this today, Nick, and it's

resonating with him on some level,
maybe he's doing really well and I.

He's just looking for that next level,
and maybe he's done a bunch of work

and maybe he's doing really well.

Or maybe there, there's someone who's
listening to this and they're just

thinking, I have no idea what to do.

With all the work you've done with all the
men you've served, like what do you see

as the first step a man can take in order
to move forward and progress and get his

life in order and get outta that pain and
be able to show up as a man who can be

an incredible husband and father who can
look himself in the mirror and just be

proud of what he sees looking back and.

Just truly be who God has
made and called him to be.

What?

What have you seen as
the first step a man can

Nick Long: I would say if anybody's
listening to this and you're like at

this inflection point where I think we
all are and you're pensive and this is

resonating with you, like literally go
in the bathroom, flip on the mirror,

take your shirt off, stand there
and just stare at yourself and don't

do it for a while, like two minutes
minimum, and just stare at yourself.

And just let whatever thoughts
come into your mind, come to

your mind, whatever like negative
thing is happening, let it happen.

And then immediately thereafter,
take a pen and paper and I want

you to write down like all the good
things that you love about yourself.

And I want you to write down all the
things that you hate about yourself,

that you dislike about yourself,
that you loathe about yourself.

look at your physical body,
look and say, is this.

Is this who I want to be
if I get hit by a bus?

Is this version of me right here?

Is this who I want to be?

And find out what you're doing right?

Double down on that shit
and what you're doing wrong.

Just start attacking it and then get
into some sort of brotherhood, some

sort of fellowship, some sort of
community, some sort of mentorship

that's gonna hold you accountable.

And but allow you to be fully seen,
fully known, and fully loved as

you are, as you progress to what
you actually want to be like.

I don't care if they work with me.

I don't care if they work with Gary.

I don't care if they
work with Nick Alfondo.

I don't care if they
work with Franklin Swann.

Just work with somebody.

find the messenger that is, that
has a message that is resonating

with you as I was to Franklin and
as Franklin is going to be to other

men and just speak that message.

Raise your hand and say, I need help.

That's it.

And make a conscious decision
that today, on this day, January

18th, 2024, I have had enough.

I'm not gonna be perfect,
but I promise from this day

forward, I will make progress.

Franklin Swann: It's so beautifully said.

You have to make a decision
and you have to take action.

Nick Long: That's it.

Franklin Swann: was gonna change in my
life until I started to take some action

and to commit and to make a decision that
I just was unwilling to stay where I was.

Nick Long: A hundred percent.

Franklin Swann: I had the courage
to, to move forward into that, not

knowing, not ever being able to
conceive of you, and I now sharing

a podcast conversation together.

Nick Long: It was amazing, man.

I remember when we first started talking
and I won't disclose what you were

paying yourself, but it was dog shit.

And I was like, bro, you're worth more.

Ah, I said, you're, I said, get a piece
of paper out, please, and write this down.

I am worth more.

And you're like, and you did.

I said, this is what we're gonna do.

You're gonna do a distribution to
yourself at the end of nine days.

Whoa.

I can't do that.

I can't do that.

Yes, you are.

You're going to do it.

You're gonna do it.

And what you distributed was like 10
times more than what you actually paid me.

And I remember you sent me a picture and I
said, you're gonna write a physical check.

And you're gonna go into
the bank and cash it.

'cause I want you to feel what it feels
like holding that check and understanding

that you are worth more than even that.

And I still have it
somewhere on my computer.

It's the copy of your distribution
check and it says I'm worth more.

And I'll never forget that you
said you walked in and you handed

this the same check to your father
and he was like shocked as shit.

and he looked at you and
he's that, stout, Texas man.

and I don't remember exactly what
you said, but he was like, you

knew that he was proud of you
and that amplified your belief.

And today it's crazy.

Like your business had never
done eight figures, right?

You wanted, you, you did obviously
wanted your business to grow,

you wanted your business to grow.

Now your business never
not does eight figures.

And it's not like the
market got More easier.

It's got more complex.

You survived Covid, but
you became stronger.

You became clear.

You made a conscious decision
in that garage that night.

This is the last time I do this
'cause I don't wanna transmit this

trauma to the sixth generation.

And you transformed it.

As a byproduct, everything else in your
life transformed, including this podcast

that someone can listen to today and has
the opportunity to transform as well.

So decide and rise the end.

Franklin Swann: Brother,
this has been so good.

Nick Long: I love you, man.

Franklin Swann: You too, brother.

this is, this has truly been an honor.

It's an honor to be your friend.

Nick Long: I'm so proud of you, dude.

this is like a proud papa moment.

it's just damn it, dude.

this is the goodness of what
happens when light attracts light,

it amplifies.

Pain shared is pain divided.

But success shared is success amplified
and this is a living proof of it.

So my friends men that are listening
out here, the world needs you.

The world needs men.

They need men to rise like the sun.

We're all a sun of someone an ON,
but we can be the sun, the UN, to

people who are living in the dark
when we decide to step outta ours.

So rise.

'cause the world needs men.

'cause if the world doesn't
have men, it'll be a dark place.

Franklin Swann: With that.

Thank you so much for coming on the show.

this has been this has been
wonderful, for those listening.

Where can they find you and,
connect with you, understand what

you're up to with, with Next 90.

just would love for anyone
who's interested to be able

to reach out to you, Nick.

Nick Long: Yeah, so just,
it's my name at Nick Long.

I actually put it right here.

So it wasn't confusing at
Nick Long on Instagram.

it's at Nick Long on most platforms, but.

Instagram's probably the
place I'm the most active.

There's a link to the next 90 website.

It's actually NXT ninety.com.

You gotta put the WW dot unfortunately
in front of it right now.

I don't know what's going on.

We'll fix it.

But ww dot nxt nine zero.com.

There's an application page there.

You can, fill it out.

We can have a conversation.

I talk with almost a hundred percent of
the people that fill out an application.

'cause I give a shit even if
you're not the right fit for me

and I'm not the right fit for you.

Like I just invest time because.

I'm an investor and time is the greatest
investment I can make into people.

So I appreciate you, brother.

This is fricking great.

This podcast is gonna change
a lot of men's lives because

one man decided to change his

Franklin Swann: With that, we are out.

Thank you for joining us

Nick Long: peace.

We ask that if you found value in
this, that you subscribe to the podcast

and share with someone that you think
would find value in this as well.

If there's a man that you know
who would benefit from this,

please share it with them.

We want to get.

These messages and these tools
and resources out to as many men

as we can so that marriages can
be thriving, families can heal.

So kids have great dads so that wives
have great husbands and one man at a time.

In this world, we can make a difference.